Showing posts with label gay family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gay family. Show all posts
Thursday, 16 January 2014
Best friends became brothers in our new gay family
Some of those fighting marriage equality these days, want you to believe that there is only a single possible right way to create a “real” family. The way they suggest is by means of unprotected, unplanned, procreative sex. Or, as Nan Hunter observes, “accidental procreation” which then warrants 1500 protections and benefits by means of a “bribe (for) heterosexuals “ to get married. Only the biologically created family deserves marriage, they argue, and all the rewards to stay together.
The notion is insulting and absurd, not only for same sex coupled families, but for opposite sex families as well. Real families come together in a variety of ways, the best of which is when all the members love each other and deeply desire a lifetime bond.
That is what happened in my family.
My partner and I had pursued various options to expanding our family beyond the two of us. We explored surrogacy, and we explored private adoption. All potential routes to family have pitfalls. As we were going through our evaluation process, I remember discussing the options with a total stranger at an airport. She saw me pouring through literature and shared stories of her numerous miscarriage heartbreaks on her way to having a family. “Whichever way you choose, just know it can be hard, but it will be OK and worth it,” she stated as we said goodbye.
My partner and I ultimately chose fostercare/adoption. Having come from recovery experiences ourselves, it was a great fit. We understood the situations of the birthparents without judgment, and we understood the real need of the children as well as the obstacles they might face. We committed, trained and waited for the call for a placement.
We got numerous calls for toddlers on temporary care. Those were great experiences. Then, we got a call about a newborn baby, born six weeks prematurely to a heroin addicted mother. He weighted 4 lbs, and had heroin exposure himself. He was to be ours for the foreseeable future.
I carried him on a sling on my chest for the next few months. We had to make sure he got a sufficient amount of nourishment in each feeding to avoid brain damage as we went through the process of supporting his birth parents through possible reunification. When those efforts failed, we went on to full adoption. We named the baby, now ours, Jason.
As Jason passed his one year birthday, we opened up our home for the potential of adding a sibling. We got a placement. She was a beautiful baby girl, and she looked just like Jason did when he was a newborn.
We had warm feelings to keep her, but were equally enthused that her birth mother was responding well to the recovery program. We supported that momentum and looked forward to a safe mother and daughter reunion.
Meanwhile, good friends of ours, another foster family, had a 10 month old little boy placed with them. He had been discovered abandoned in a trailer. My partner often did play dates with them, and the little boy in their care and our son Jason became very close and attached.
They seemed to speak a common language, playing well together. My partner called me at work one day, “You have to come see this little boy and how he and Jason are. I told the other family that if anything was a problem with their placement, to let us know and we would love to take him.” I was alright with this, but a little guarded as our plan had been to have a boy and a girl—not two boys. Plans change and life takes over.
When I got home that evening, the play date was still going on. I will never forget the moment that I first saw Jesse. He was crawling around the corner headed toward the dishwasher as I was headed the other way… and we locked eyes. It was one of the most profound moments of my life. Here I was with direct eye contact with this toddler and the look between us said it all… “Hi Dad, I am your son. Hi Jesse, I am going to be your Dad.”
A week later, it happened. The fostermom called and asked if we were serious about our offer. It turns out that her family had to move into very tight quarters temporarily and she was much better equipped to care for the baby we were nursing, than Jesse, the rough and tumble toddler . So, we called the authorities, and made the switch. Jason and Jesse, new best friends, were now on the way to potentially becoming brothers.
I was worried however, being the working Dad, that I might not get to bond with Jesse as I had with Jason. I did not get to carry him on me for months, and saw him in the mornings before I left for work, and in time for a kiss goodnight when I returned. He was exposed to my partner, other fostercare providers and others more than he was seeing me.
I wish I could say that road to brotherhood was trouble free. It was not. Jesse was still on a unification plan with a birth parent, and it looked like things in that regard might be successful, until one horrible weekend. Jesse came back from an overnight visit battered and bruised. We called the social worker immediately and the reunification attempts were closed.
I slept by his crib for the next two weeks, and although he was normally a through-the –night sleeper, he awoke nightly screaming and crying. Controlling my own anger and pain, I grabbed him and held him, as nightly the reaction grew less and less until he was again able to sleep through the night.
I don’t know if being there for him in that way was the factor, but our bonding was not an issue. As he has grown, we are lock step and almost able to read each other’s minds. As I look at my sons, I am filled with the awareness of a love for each that I could never fathom in my wildest imagination previously. The love I have for each is unique, each powerful in its own right, but its own “color” if you will. Jason is the son of my heart, Jesse is the son of my soul.
Today they act as twins. Since he is physically bigger, they have decided that Jesse is the “big brother”. Since he was born four months earlier, Jason has been dubbed, by mutual consent, as the “older brother”. We do not have a “little brother” in the family.
That is how two little best friends became brothers. It is how my gay family came together. We have a unique story, but we are not unique. All same-gendered parent families have a story. While my friend at the airport was right, “all ways can be hard”, all ways can also be miraculous, loving and intensely wonderful. How our families come together is being judged today, and in the next few months. It will be judged by the US Supreme Court. Our families are likely to be judged long after that as well, no matter what the results. And, no matter what the judgments on our value, I will always know the truth. I know how thoroughly REAL we are. I live it and I have seen it. I saw it as I looked into a little boy’s eyes for the first time in front of a dishwasher.
Article: 15th January 2014 www.goodmenproject.com
Monday, 14 January 2013
Pride Angel nominated Family Provider/Initiative of the Year
We're delighted to have been nominated for this year’s 'G3 Readers awards 2013'.
Introducing the Awards, G3 says:
“The Awards are designed to showcase those individuals and organisations who have demonstrated an outstanding commitment to the LGBT community. We believe that those who go the extra mile to ensure equality of opportunity and fair treatment for all, deserve to be recognised.”
Pride Angel has been short listed within the category of 'Family Provider/Initiative of the Year’
The shortlisted nominations include:
- Pride Angel
- London Women’s Clinic
- L Group Families
- PACT
- Natalie Gamble Associates
Vote for Pride Angel for being gay owned and run and for our contribution to the LGBT community helping create hundreds of LGBT families with pride! ....and just for voting for your favourite nominations you will be entered into a FREE DRAW for a chance to win tickets to the event.
We would love for you to show your support by voting for Pride Angel. It will only take a minute, just click on the link below now to vote:
www.outg3awards.co.uk
Nominations for all categories were short-listed based on their ability to be gay friendly and their contribution to the LGBT community.
Article: 14th January 2013 Pride Angel
Monday, 4 June 2012
American pro gay ad released for Father's Day
Partly in celebration of Father’s Day, and partly in response to the criticisms it received for releasing a pro-gay ad featuring a lesbian couple, the US clothing retailer JC Penney has released another pro-gay ad, this time featuring two dads.
JC Penney has been under fire from the anti-gay group One Million Moms, whose actual membership is estimated to be around 40,000 at best, twice before: first for hiring comedienne Ellen DeGeneres as its spokesperson, then for releasing an ad featuring a lesbian couple as mothers of two children.
As it happened, almost 22,500 people signed a GLAAD-initiated petition to thank the retailer for its pro-gay stance, nor did the pro-gay ad, published towards Mother’s Day, affect JC Penney’s sales or reputation.
Now, as if in direct reply to these criticisms, JC Penney has released an ad for Father’s Day, featuring a real life gay male couple, Todd Koch and Cooper Smith, with their children Claire and Mason. The accompanying text reads: ’First Pals – What makes Dad so cool? He’s the swim coach, tent maker, best friend, bike fixer and hug giver – all rolled into one. Or two.’
One Million Moms has predictably moved to criticise the retailer, for allegedly ‘continuing down the same path of promoting sin in their advertisements.’ Repeating the same warning as last time, it warns JC Penney to remain neutral in ‘the culture war,’ lest its members and their supporters boycott the retailer altogether.
‘We must remain diligent and stand up for Biblical values and truth,’ the group’s website declares, echoing its recent criticisms of gay story-lines in comic-scripts. ‘Scripture says multiple times that homosexuality is wrong, and God will not tolerate this sinful nature.’
JC Penney has reiterated its position that it is a store for all Americans, and in reflecting the diversity of the country, would naturally include gay fathers in its collection.
Article: 3rd June 2012 www.pinknews.co.uk
Monday, 30 April 2012
Charlie Condou talks about life with two dads and one mum
There are many ways my family has an advantage over the regular two-parent model. That extra pair of hands, for one thing, that makes a massive difference, particularly in the foggy, newborn days. But it also throws up a number of problems that, while not absent in other families, can feel more acute in ours. Specifically, I'm thinking about the issue of control.
Parents who live together may not always agree on every aspect of raising their kids but, somehow, they have to find a way to compromise and put on a united front for their children. The rules their kids live by are the "house rules". There might be small differences – Dad lets us have a second bowl of ice cream, Mum helps with our homework, that sort of thing – but, essentially, there's one way of doing things; one style of parenting.
For us, it's not so clear. Our children are growing up, much like the children of divorced parents, with two homes and, in many ways, two different ways of doing things. Catherine, for example, is one of life's organisers and needs to know what she's going to be doing and how her day will go. She does a lot of structured activities with the kids – swimming lessons, baby gym, play dates etc. Cam and I, on the other hand, tend to take a much looser approach. The kids have a daily routine with us, but there is plenty of space for just pottering about, watching telly or kicking around the park. I know that Catherine sometimes finds our laissez-faire approach frustrating, just as I think she sometimes over-organises. If we lived together all the time, we would doubtless find a balance, but because we don't, what happens is that the kids have two homes with somewhat different parenting styles.
Does it matter? For the children, I would say not. First, kids are incredibly adaptable and seem to have no problem understanding that different things happen in different houses (especially if that's all they have ever known). And, over the course of a week, the organised and laid-back approaches probably balance out. But for us parents, it's been an exercise in learning to cede control. It requires a huge amount of trust in the other parent; trust that, though they may do things very differently, they are still doing what's best for your child. But you learn to let go and, in time, even see the benefits of this dual approach. Interestingly, when Hal arrived and we all started living at Catherine's house, Georgia became really unsettled. She only seemed to return to her normal, sunny self when Cam and I took her back to spend the night at our place. Of course, for her living in two homes is "normal" so suddenly being in the same house all the time felt strange. Her routine had been disrupted and she didn't like it.
Some things are sacrosanct. Whichever house the kids are in, they have the same bedtime routine and discipline is consistent. It's important that there is never a suggestion that they can get away with behaviour with one parent that would be unacceptable with the others.
As always, our family works first and foremost because we talk a lot and listen to each other. That is the golden rule, and the first thing I say to people who are considering entering an arrangement like ours. You won't always agree on everything, but it's how you handle it that counts. Remember that you all have the best interests of the children at heart and trust each other.
Article: 28th April 2012 www.guardian.co.uk
Friday, 10 February 2012
Sir Elton John and David Furnish fear their son will face 'stigma' growing up
Sir Elton John and David Furnish talked about their first year of parenthood, the pair spoke of their pride and joy at becoming parents to Zachary, who was born via a surrogate in America on Christmas Day, 2010.
The couple, who met in the early 1990s, said they had enjoyed a “brilliant” year with their 13 month-old son, whose full name is Zachary Jackson Levon Furnish-John.
But they admitted he faced “challenges” and potential “double” stigma as he grew up and have consulted counsellors to find out the best way of dealing with any potential problems.
As a result they have created a scrapbook to give to him when he is older in order to explain his “creation” and birth from his unidentified surrogate mother.
“We're going to have challenges, of course we are,” Sir Elton said in a magazine interview. “But we talked about that before we had him.”
Mr Furnish, a Canadian-born film-maker, added: “I think he's going to have a lot of attention thrust upon him.
“He's going to be potentially doubly stigmatised, because one of his parents is extremely famous and because he comes from two dads.
“We've taken advice from counsellors. We've put a whole scrapbook together about his creation, the people who were involved in the process and how the intent was about love.”
Mr Furnish, a former advertising executive, added: “We're going to raise him to be proud of who he is.”
Sir Elton, 64, and Mr Furnish, 49, made the comments in an interview with the British Attitude magazine, Europe’s popular publication for gay men. The pair, who had a civil partnership in December 2005, reportedly spend the majority of their time at their mansion in Windsor, Berks. They tried to adopt an AIDS-infected orphan in Ukraine in 2009, but were thwarted by government regulations.
Sir Elton, who is due to perform at the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee concert in the summer, said the couple had experienced the “most incredible year” with their son as they introduced him to family and friends and took him on holidays.
“I can't tell you how brilliant this year has been and how much love he's brought us and how much we're getting,” Sir Elton said.
“We thought that the civil partnership brought us together, but having a child has been magnificent, and I never thought I would have a kid.
“I don't feel 65, which I will be next year. Now, having a kid there's so much more to do. There's so much more I want to see happen before I die.”
Their son’s middle name “Levon” is thought to be a reference to John’s 1971 song of the same name, whose lyrics were written by his long time collaborator Bernie Taupin and inspired by drummer and singer Levon Helm.
In the interview, reported in the Daily Mail, Sir Elton said he was proud of his sexuality and that he had no problems performing in front of people that found it hard to accept.
Despite being “the world's most acceptable” gay man, he insisted he would not be fearful of performing in countries such as Iran, which had known homophobic cultures. He added: “I'm like the Queen Mother of homosexuality, basically.”
Article: 10th February 2012 www.telegraph.co.uk
The couple, who met in the early 1990s, said they had enjoyed a “brilliant” year with their 13 month-old son, whose full name is Zachary Jackson Levon Furnish-John.
But they admitted he faced “challenges” and potential “double” stigma as he grew up and have consulted counsellors to find out the best way of dealing with any potential problems.
As a result they have created a scrapbook to give to him when he is older in order to explain his “creation” and birth from his unidentified surrogate mother.
“We're going to have challenges, of course we are,” Sir Elton said in a magazine interview. “But we talked about that before we had him.”
Mr Furnish, a Canadian-born film-maker, added: “I think he's going to have a lot of attention thrust upon him.
“He's going to be potentially doubly stigmatised, because one of his parents is extremely famous and because he comes from two dads.
“We've taken advice from counsellors. We've put a whole scrapbook together about his creation, the people who were involved in the process and how the intent was about love.”
Mr Furnish, a former advertising executive, added: “We're going to raise him to be proud of who he is.”
Sir Elton, 64, and Mr Furnish, 49, made the comments in an interview with the British Attitude magazine, Europe’s popular publication for gay men. The pair, who had a civil partnership in December 2005, reportedly spend the majority of their time at their mansion in Windsor, Berks. They tried to adopt an AIDS-infected orphan in Ukraine in 2009, but were thwarted by government regulations.
Sir Elton, who is due to perform at the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee concert in the summer, said the couple had experienced the “most incredible year” with their son as they introduced him to family and friends and took him on holidays.
“I can't tell you how brilliant this year has been and how much love he's brought us and how much we're getting,” Sir Elton said.
“We thought that the civil partnership brought us together, but having a child has been magnificent, and I never thought I would have a kid.
“I don't feel 65, which I will be next year. Now, having a kid there's so much more to do. There's so much more I want to see happen before I die.”
Their son’s middle name “Levon” is thought to be a reference to John’s 1971 song of the same name, whose lyrics were written by his long time collaborator Bernie Taupin and inspired by drummer and singer Levon Helm.
In the interview, reported in the Daily Mail, Sir Elton said he was proud of his sexuality and that he had no problems performing in front of people that found it hard to accept.
Despite being “the world's most acceptable” gay man, he insisted he would not be fearful of performing in countries such as Iran, which had known homophobic cultures. He added: “I'm like the Queen Mother of homosexuality, basically.”
Article: 10th February 2012 www.telegraph.co.uk
Monday, 19 December 2011
Gay couple told they will be grandparents goes viral on YouTube
A reaction video posted by user charper 140 on 11 December 2010 of a gay couple hearing the news that they are to be grandparents has gone viral after a year on popular self-broadcasting site, YouTube.
Titled "We told Dads they're going to be Grandpas", the video depicts a family gathering of the two men and a young woman in a kitchen in America, a third man is filming.
The cameraman asks the couple: "So, tell me what it's going to be like, now that you two are going to be grandpas".
The reaction of sheer joy and disbelief, in particular displayed by the man in white, has become a huge hit across the web. Although it is unclear why the video has suddenly become so popular.
Comments include, "I challenge anyone (with a brain, heart or soul) to see such genuine love and tell them it's wrong."
"Every child should be born into a house with this much love and joy, the world would be a much better place."
The most popular comment, currently standing at 55 Vote Ups, stands firm with YouTube's satirical following: "Hold on, THIS is what's destroying my traditional family?"
In second place comes "This is why same sex marriage should be legal" with 17 votes.
Article: 16th December 2011 www.gaystarnews.com
Gay,lesbian wishing to become parents? find your parenting match with pride at Pride Angel
Titled "We told Dads they're going to be Grandpas", the video depicts a family gathering of the two men and a young woman in a kitchen in America, a third man is filming.
The cameraman asks the couple: "So, tell me what it's going to be like, now that you two are going to be grandpas".
The reaction of sheer joy and disbelief, in particular displayed by the man in white, has become a huge hit across the web. Although it is unclear why the video has suddenly become so popular.
Comments include, "I challenge anyone (with a brain, heart or soul) to see such genuine love and tell them it's wrong."
"Every child should be born into a house with this much love and joy, the world would be a much better place."
The most popular comment, currently standing at 55 Vote Ups, stands firm with YouTube's satirical following: "Hold on, THIS is what's destroying my traditional family?"
In second place comes "This is why same sex marriage should be legal" with 17 votes.
Article: 16th December 2011 www.gaystarnews.com
Gay,lesbian wishing to become parents? find your parenting match with pride at Pride Angel
Monday, 12 December 2011
Mothercare Competition Winner | Mittens, Bootees and Decisions
Imagine a pair of mittens, and bootees to match, tiny and all furry soft and with paw prints on the palms and soles. And in the half-price sale. Of course we bought them, but this time they were not just a gift for one of our many breeding friends (someone‘s popping one out at least once a month or so now). No, we bought them as a symbol – a symbol of our decision-making process about whether to have a child. If one day, someone else’s child wears them, it will be because we decided not to do it. For now though, the jury is out…
It’s the suddenness of prospective parenthood that is most disconcerting. After fifteen years of sorting out your sexuality and looking for love and, once you find it, a bit of time settling down, rings and vows and all, by the time the question of kids even crosses your mind as a vague and rather complicated option for a lesbian couple, you’re suddenly aged thirty-four and starting to think actually, if we’re going to do this, it needs to be soon. Do straight couples actually really think it through? Or is it just what you do, once you’ve been working a few years and you’re married with the three-bedroomed semi and the Ford Focus? I don’t honestly know, but my guess is, when you’re gay you think it through a lot harder.
You question your motives: is it selfish to want a child? Do we just want one because our friends have them? Because we think we could do a good job of it? Because now we’re civil partnered, what’s next? You question the morality of the method: is it wrong to have a child by artificial insemination when so many children need adopting? (I’d follow this principle when acquiring a cat – but does the morality change with a child?) To what extent is it genetic engineering when you select a donor who looks good on paper? (Don’t even ask what makes a donor ‘look good’ on paper.) And is that selection process actually any more engineered than a straight person selecting a spouse which whom to breed?
And then once you’ve convinced yourself you’re okay with the whole sperm donor idea, what then? A series of weird discussions (We know – we’ve had them) about which of your friends or friends’ husbands you would most like to impregnate yourself/girlfriend. Do you ask the one who’d be least freaked out by the whole prospect, or the one who looks healthiest and still has a good head of hair? And when you ask him, how exactly would that conversation go? Seriously, I’d like to know.
Frankly, it’s going to involve some uncomfortable discussions, but on the other hand, that whole donor bank thing of a complete stranger with blue eyes, brown hair and an A’ level in computing appeals even less. Our recent discovery of the Pride Angel website has introduced a more attractive option of finding a sperm donor who we can meet and develop some sort of (albeit unconventional) relationship with, but who is otherwise unconnected with us personally, and this is the option we’re currently working on.
But for now the mittens and bootees, with the fur and the paw prints, are on a shelf in the wardrobe, waiting patiently for the possibility of any paws close to home that might one day fit inside.
Winning article: by Lindsey, West Yorkshire, United Kingdom 12th December 2011
It’s the suddenness of prospective parenthood that is most disconcerting. After fifteen years of sorting out your sexuality and looking for love and, once you find it, a bit of time settling down, rings and vows and all, by the time the question of kids even crosses your mind as a vague and rather complicated option for a lesbian couple, you’re suddenly aged thirty-four and starting to think actually, if we’re going to do this, it needs to be soon. Do straight couples actually really think it through? Or is it just what you do, once you’ve been working a few years and you’re married with the three-bedroomed semi and the Ford Focus? I don’t honestly know, but my guess is, when you’re gay you think it through a lot harder.
You question your motives: is it selfish to want a child? Do we just want one because our friends have them? Because we think we could do a good job of it? Because now we’re civil partnered, what’s next? You question the morality of the method: is it wrong to have a child by artificial insemination when so many children need adopting? (I’d follow this principle when acquiring a cat – but does the morality change with a child?) To what extent is it genetic engineering when you select a donor who looks good on paper? (Don’t even ask what makes a donor ‘look good’ on paper.) And is that selection process actually any more engineered than a straight person selecting a spouse which whom to breed?
And then once you’ve convinced yourself you’re okay with the whole sperm donor idea, what then? A series of weird discussions (We know – we’ve had them) about which of your friends or friends’ husbands you would most like to impregnate yourself/girlfriend. Do you ask the one who’d be least freaked out by the whole prospect, or the one who looks healthiest and still has a good head of hair? And when you ask him, how exactly would that conversation go? Seriously, I’d like to know.
Frankly, it’s going to involve some uncomfortable discussions, but on the other hand, that whole donor bank thing of a complete stranger with blue eyes, brown hair and an A’ level in computing appeals even less. Our recent discovery of the Pride Angel website has introduced a more attractive option of finding a sperm donor who we can meet and develop some sort of (albeit unconventional) relationship with, but who is otherwise unconnected with us personally, and this is the option we’re currently working on.
But for now the mittens and bootees, with the fur and the paw prints, are on a shelf in the wardrobe, waiting patiently for the possibility of any paws close to home that might one day fit inside.
Winning article: by Lindsey, West Yorkshire, United Kingdom 12th December 2011
Wednesday, 2 November 2011
Charlie Condou | Two dads, one mum - one family
One of the great things about my family is that, instead of the usual two parents, Georgia (and baby-to-be) have three. That's three pairs of hands to share the load and, especially given that we're all flexibly self-employed and close friends, it means that life runs pretty smoothly most of the time.
Last month, for example, we decided to make the most of the sudden burst of late-summer weather, as well as the fact that I had a bit of time off from Coronation Street, and all head down to the country for the week. Georgia loved having all her parents (and one set of grandparents) around, and the three of us enjoyed chilling together and spoiling her, making the most of these last few months of "her-only childhood".
Last week I found myself in the highly unusual position of being a single parent. Cam had gone back to Canada for his mum and dad's 50th wedding anniversary, while Catherine had a number of work things to deal with. She's also entering the third trimester of pregnancy, and is at the stage where she tires easily, particularly as an older mother-to-be, so I took Georgia home with me for three days.
Aside from the obvious lone-parenting issues – plonking your child in front of Peppa Pig while you go to the loo with the door open, for example – the biggest difference was being able to create our own timetable.
I didn't have to meet Catherine or Cam for hand-overs or meal times, so Georgia and I could pootle through the day at our own pace, going wherever the mood took us. Because, of course, the down side of three parents is that there are three people's schedules and needs to consider. So, for those few days, much as I love Catherine, much as I miss Cam, having Georgia all to myself was a rare treat.
Yes, I know how spoilt that sounds. I'm sure there are countless single parents reading this and rolling their eyes. I have plenty of friends who really are bring up children alone, so I'm well aware that the reality of single parenting, day in, day out, is that it can be stressful, exhausting and lonely.
The time alone with my daughter felt like a luxury precisely because I don't have to do it all the time. I don't have to struggle out of bed seven days a week, regardless of how I feel, I don't have to juggle work and childcare and shopping and cooking, while trying to cling to the vestiges of a social life. I have it easy and so, when I do get Georgia to myself, I make the most of it. In fact, I wallow in it – playing and snuggling and enjoying every minute of her two-year-old cuteness. The fact that I also have to spend so much time away in Manchester filming the TV show only serves to make time alone with Georgia feel even more like a luxury.
I wonder again how I'll manage to love the new baby with the same ferocity with which I love Georgia. Even though I know rationally that I will, and everyone tells me "babies bring their own love", it still seems unfathomable.
Before Georgia was born, I had a clear picture of what fatherhood would be like, but this time, when I try to think ahead to being a father of two, my imagination fails, and I struggle to see it emotionally or practically. I am excited about the new baby, but I'm apprehensive, too.
Right now, fatherhood feels so perfect that the thought of any change makes me nervous. Then I think about holding my son in my arms, and I know it's going to work out fine.
Article: 29th October 2011 www.guardian.co.uk
Read more about gay and lesbian families at Pride Angel
Last month, for example, we decided to make the most of the sudden burst of late-summer weather, as well as the fact that I had a bit of time off from Coronation Street, and all head down to the country for the week. Georgia loved having all her parents (and one set of grandparents) around, and the three of us enjoyed chilling together and spoiling her, making the most of these last few months of "her-only childhood".
Last week I found myself in the highly unusual position of being a single parent. Cam had gone back to Canada for his mum and dad's 50th wedding anniversary, while Catherine had a number of work things to deal with. She's also entering the third trimester of pregnancy, and is at the stage where she tires easily, particularly as an older mother-to-be, so I took Georgia home with me for three days.
Aside from the obvious lone-parenting issues – plonking your child in front of Peppa Pig while you go to the loo with the door open, for example – the biggest difference was being able to create our own timetable.
I didn't have to meet Catherine or Cam for hand-overs or meal times, so Georgia and I could pootle through the day at our own pace, going wherever the mood took us. Because, of course, the down side of three parents is that there are three people's schedules and needs to consider. So, for those few days, much as I love Catherine, much as I miss Cam, having Georgia all to myself was a rare treat.
Yes, I know how spoilt that sounds. I'm sure there are countless single parents reading this and rolling their eyes. I have plenty of friends who really are bring up children alone, so I'm well aware that the reality of single parenting, day in, day out, is that it can be stressful, exhausting and lonely.
The time alone with my daughter felt like a luxury precisely because I don't have to do it all the time. I don't have to struggle out of bed seven days a week, regardless of how I feel, I don't have to juggle work and childcare and shopping and cooking, while trying to cling to the vestiges of a social life. I have it easy and so, when I do get Georgia to myself, I make the most of it. In fact, I wallow in it – playing and snuggling and enjoying every minute of her two-year-old cuteness. The fact that I also have to spend so much time away in Manchester filming the TV show only serves to make time alone with Georgia feel even more like a luxury.
I wonder again how I'll manage to love the new baby with the same ferocity with which I love Georgia. Even though I know rationally that I will, and everyone tells me "babies bring their own love", it still seems unfathomable.
Before Georgia was born, I had a clear picture of what fatherhood would be like, but this time, when I try to think ahead to being a father of two, my imagination fails, and I struggle to see it emotionally or practically. I am excited about the new baby, but I'm apprehensive, too.
Right now, fatherhood feels so perfect that the thought of any change makes me nervous. Then I think about holding my son in my arms, and I know it's going to work out fine.
Article: 29th October 2011 www.guardian.co.uk
Read more about gay and lesbian families at Pride Angel
Friday, 16 September 2011
Alternative Families Show - London 2011
SATURDAY 17TH SEPTEMBER 10 am - 5 pm
Demystifying the process of starting a family
GRAND CONNAUGHT ROOMS, COVENT GARDEN, LONDON
SEMINAR BOOKINGS NOW OPEN EACH SEMINAR BOOKED COSTS £3
• Thinking of becoming a parent?
• Want to understand the options available to you?
• Are you considering IVF, adoption or surrogacy?
• Want to understand your rights as a parent?
• Need help deciding on known or anonymous donors?
• Want to find support networks for same-sex parents?
A one-stop shop for anyone wanting to become a parent. The Alternative Families Show brings together all the information you need to make informed choices on parenthood. For the the lesbian and gay community, this is your opportunity to get some real facts surrounding same-sex parenting, co-parenting, surrogacy and much more.
Exhibitors 2011 include the following:
The lesbian, gay and bisexual charity. Stonewall played a key role in lobbying for important legislative changes for gay and lesbian parents.
www.stonewall.org.uk
Pride Angel is a leading worldwide connection site, fertility forum and blog for lesbian, gay, single and infertile couples, wishing to become parents through co-parenting and donor conception.
www.prideangel.com
British Association for Adoption and Fostering. Family finding, publications, training, conferences, consultancy, campaigning and advice.
www.baaf.org.uk
Over just the past 8 years, the BSC have matched over 35 couples and singles with surrogates, both traditional and gestational, and with egg donors, producing 45 babies! All of these couples have been matched with surrogates in the USA. Now with recent law changes in the UK and the positive encouragement from the UK community as a whole, we bring you The British Surrogacy Centre, dedicated to building families of the future and giving ordinary people the chance to have a family of their own.
www.britishsurrogacycentre.com
European Sperm Bank provides patients with donor choices. They select donors very carefully and use industry-leading donor screening procedures strictly in line with EU regulations.
www.europeanspermbank.com
L Group Families supports lesbians by providing specialist information and advice on the different services within the marketplace in order that they can make informed choices on the best treatment and options available to them and enjoy the prospect of parenthood. Our aims are:To provide support, information and advice to lesbians who are thinking about starting a family, (now or in the future); and to provide a support service to lesbian parents, carers and their children.
www.lgroupfamilies.org.uk
The North London Adoption Consortium (NLAC) is a partnership of five local authority adoption agencies (Barnet, Camden, Enfield, Haringey and Islington) and the voluntary agency Norwood. We all work together to provide the very best possible service for children waiting to be adopted and for those wanting to adopt. Working in partnership means we are able to offer a greater range of choice for children and adopters. By sharing information about waiting children and approved adopters, we are able to find new homes for children in a more efficient and timely manner.
www.adoptionnorthlondon.co.uk
Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority
Dedicated to licensing and monitoring UK fertility clinics and providing impartial and authoritative information to people considering or going through treatment or donating.
www.hfea.gov.uk
Kites Children’s Services has been established since 1995 to provide quality services for young people who present with sexual development problems which may lead to sexually harmful behaviour. Kites has a multidisciplinary team providing residential, fostering, education and aftercare placements all supported by therapeutic services and external consultants.
www.kitescs.com
New Family Social is the UK wide support network for LGBT adopters, foster carers and their children. We have over 450 families and families to be who share advice and encouragement online, and can find others near them in order to build their local support networks. Most importantly, our regular family events around the UK give our children the confidence of knowing other families like theirs.
www.newfamilysocial.co.uk
and many more exhibitors....
Seminars run throughout the day on subjects from conception, adoption, legal rights, & support networks. The show will give you access to information from top UK advisors in their field.
Seminars wil include talks by leading experts within their field such as:
Family ties and the law: Singles, gays and lesbians
by fertility and parenting lawyer: Natalie Gamble
www.nataliegambleassociates.com
Surrogacy and IVF for same sex couples and singles
by Dr Susan Treiser, IVF New Jersey and Barrie & Tony Drewitt-Barlow
www.britishsurrogacycentre.com
Demystifying the process of starting a family
GRAND CONNAUGHT ROOMS, COVENT GARDEN, LONDON
SEMINAR BOOKINGS NOW OPEN EACH SEMINAR BOOKED COSTS £3
• Thinking of becoming a parent?
• Want to understand the options available to you?
• Are you considering IVF, adoption or surrogacy?
• Want to understand your rights as a parent?
• Need help deciding on known or anonymous donors?
• Want to find support networks for same-sex parents?
A one-stop shop for anyone wanting to become a parent. The Alternative Families Show brings together all the information you need to make informed choices on parenthood. For the the lesbian and gay community, this is your opportunity to get some real facts surrounding same-sex parenting, co-parenting, surrogacy and much more.
Exhibitors 2011 include the following:
The lesbian, gay and bisexual charity. Stonewall played a key role in lobbying for important legislative changes for gay and lesbian parents.
www.stonewall.org.uk
Pride Angel is a leading worldwide connection site, fertility forum and blog for lesbian, gay, single and infertile couples, wishing to become parents through co-parenting and donor conception.
www.prideangel.com
British Association for Adoption and Fostering. Family finding, publications, training, conferences, consultancy, campaigning and advice.
www.baaf.org.uk
Over just the past 8 years, the BSC have matched over 35 couples and singles with surrogates, both traditional and gestational, and with egg donors, producing 45 babies! All of these couples have been matched with surrogates in the USA. Now with recent law changes in the UK and the positive encouragement from the UK community as a whole, we bring you The British Surrogacy Centre, dedicated to building families of the future and giving ordinary people the chance to have a family of their own.
www.britishsurrogacycentre.com
European Sperm Bank provides patients with donor choices. They select donors very carefully and use industry-leading donor screening procedures strictly in line with EU regulations.
www.europeanspermbank.com
L Group Families supports lesbians by providing specialist information and advice on the different services within the marketplace in order that they can make informed choices on the best treatment and options available to them and enjoy the prospect of parenthood. Our aims are:To provide support, information and advice to lesbians who are thinking about starting a family, (now or in the future); and to provide a support service to lesbian parents, carers and their children.
www.lgroupfamilies.org.uk
The North London Adoption Consortium (NLAC) is a partnership of five local authority adoption agencies (Barnet, Camden, Enfield, Haringey and Islington) and the voluntary agency Norwood. We all work together to provide the very best possible service for children waiting to be adopted and for those wanting to adopt. Working in partnership means we are able to offer a greater range of choice for children and adopters. By sharing information about waiting children and approved adopters, we are able to find new homes for children in a more efficient and timely manner.
www.adoptionnorthlondon.co.uk
Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority
Dedicated to licensing and monitoring UK fertility clinics and providing impartial and authoritative information to people considering or going through treatment or donating.
www.hfea.gov.uk
Kites Children’s Services has been established since 1995 to provide quality services for young people who present with sexual development problems which may lead to sexually harmful behaviour. Kites has a multidisciplinary team providing residential, fostering, education and aftercare placements all supported by therapeutic services and external consultants.
www.kitescs.com
New Family Social is the UK wide support network for LGBT adopters, foster carers and their children. We have over 450 families and families to be who share advice and encouragement online, and can find others near them in order to build their local support networks. Most importantly, our regular family events around the UK give our children the confidence of knowing other families like theirs.
www.newfamilysocial.co.uk
and many more exhibitors....
Seminars run throughout the day on subjects from conception, adoption, legal rights, & support networks. The show will give you access to information from top UK advisors in their field.
Seminars wil include talks by leading experts within their field such as:
Family ties and the law: Singles, gays and lesbians
by fertility and parenting lawyer: Natalie Gamble
www.nataliegambleassociates.com
Surrogacy and IVF for same sex couples and singles
by Dr Susan Treiser, IVF New Jersey and Barrie & Tony Drewitt-Barlow
www.britishsurrogacycentre.com
Monday, 12 September 2011
Pride Angel would like to hear about your fertility and parenting experiences
Pride Angel wants your feedback - Receive £150 mothercare vouchers for FREE
Having babies and toddlers can be expensive as they just keep on growing. Imagine what you could buy with £150 Mothercare vouchers, a endless supply of nappies, new baby clothes, a new pushchair, whatever you would buy, the choice is entirely yours!
How to get your free vouchers? Pride Angel would love to hear about your experiences, whether you have:
• Found a donor through Pride Angel?
• Got pregnant using a Pride Angel insemination kit?
• Starting the journey to parenthood and considering different options?
• Co-parenting with a single person or gay couple?
• Used a friend as a sperm donor?
• Using IVF treatment or going through surrogacy?
Are you willing to write a small blog/article about your personal experiences in the region of 200-500 words? Personal names do not need to be included if you prefer not to.
The best article will be published on Pride Angel and will be rewarded with £150 mothercare vouchers. Any other articles which we may choose to add to Pride Angel will be rewarded £50 in mothercare vouchers.
Speak to us for more information, just contact us. Enter your article by email: info@prideangel.com
This promotion is available until 30th November 2011. All entries will be replied to by the Pride Angel team.
Having babies and toddlers can be expensive as they just keep on growing. Imagine what you could buy with £150 Mothercare vouchers, a endless supply of nappies, new baby clothes, a new pushchair, whatever you would buy, the choice is entirely yours!
How to get your free vouchers? Pride Angel would love to hear about your experiences, whether you have:
• Found a donor through Pride Angel?
• Got pregnant using a Pride Angel insemination kit?
• Starting the journey to parenthood and considering different options?
• Co-parenting with a single person or gay couple?
• Used a friend as a sperm donor?
• Using IVF treatment or going through surrogacy?
Are you willing to write a small blog/article about your personal experiences in the region of 200-500 words? Personal names do not need to be included if you prefer not to.
The best article will be published on Pride Angel and will be rewarded with £150 mothercare vouchers. Any other articles which we may choose to add to Pride Angel will be rewarded £50 in mothercare vouchers.
Speak to us for more information, just contact us. Enter your article by email: info@prideangel.com
This promotion is available until 30th November 2011. All entries will be replied to by the Pride Angel team.
Tuesday, 5 July 2011
Glad to be gay parents - Is life getting easier for gay families?
With more same-sex celebrity couples proudly parading their children, is life getting easier for these unconventional set-ups?
Eleven years ago, when Karen decided to try for a baby with her long-term partner, she had no idea how to go about it. She felt uncomfortable disclosing her lesbian relationship to her doctor and wasn't keen on using a sperm bank because she felt strongly that she wanted her child to know who its father was. In the end, by chance, a friend offered to donate sperm. "When I found out I was pregnant, I was over the moon with happiness," she says. "But back then, there wasn't any information for gay and lesbian couples so throughout the whole thing we felt isolated and totally unaware of any legal issues, which could easily have arisen."
In fact, Barrie and Tony Drewitt-Barlow made legal history in 1999 when they won a battle to bring their twins, conceived via donor eggs and carried to term by a surrogate mother, home to Britain after they were born in America. The twins became the first British children to be registered as having two fathers and no mother.
Nowadays things are a bit different. We've got Elton John and David Furnish introducing their surrogate son, Zachary, on the front of OK! magazine. In February, we had Sex and the City's Cynthia Nixon introducing the world to the baby boy she had with her girlfriend, Christine Marinoni. Glee star Jane Lynch is stepmother to two daughters from her partner Dr Lara Embry's previous relationship. And there's even a gay adoption plot brewing in EastEnders. It's now so commonplace, a new bi-monthly glossy entitled Pink Parenting is due to hit the newsstands next month.
The magazine is the creation of long-term gay couple Jeff Crockett and Giorgiou Severi, who also publish Europe's leading fertility magazine, Fertility Road. The first issue features an interview with Ricky Martin talking about his twin boys, Valentino and Matteo, recipes from children's food expert Annabel Karmel, plus everything same-sex couples need to know about adoption, fostering and surrogacy.
Over the past 50 years, we have seen a complete shift in what the model of the family looks like and it appears the rise of the gay family is a big part of the next chapter. According to the Department for Education, there were 120 same-sex couples who adopted in 2010. Crockett and Severi cite figures from the 2000 American census, which revealed that 39 per cent of same-sex couples in the States between the ages of 22 and 55 were raising children. "Gay surrogacy or adoption is becoming a common-day occurrence, we are used to the idea. The world is ready for it now," Severi says.
Karen and Erika agree. After their less-than-happy experience 11 years ago, they decided to set up a website, Pride Angel, which is now the world's leading connection site putting lesbian and gay couples together with donors. It provides masses of information, including how to draw up the all-important donor or co-parenting agreements that outline financial and legal obligations.
That Pride Angel now has more than 7,000 members is testament to how big this issue has become.
When Oskana decided to have a baby with her long-term partner, Stacey, they too were lucky enough to have a friend volunteer to donate sperm. They now have a two-year-old and a four-year-old, both of whom were carried by Oskana but adopted by Stacey within weeks of the birth. Now both mothers have names on the birth certificate and absolutely equal parenting rights.
"We sat down with the donor and worked everything out," Oskana says. "He wanted to have visibility but in a sort of 'distant uncle' kind of way. We agreed he would have no rights and no responsibilities and that he wouldn't be morally or financially obligated to do anything."
Stuart and Mark, who live near Manchester and have been in a civil partnership since 2008, took the adoption route. This month, the papers finally came through saying that the two young boys who had been placed with them since last May were officially theirs.
Even though it's now enshrined in law, in the Adoption and Children Act 2002, that same-sex couples get exactly the same rights as heterosexual couples when it comes to adoption, Stuart says he definitely felt they were treated differently because they were gay. "We went for an open evening at Stockport Council and noticed that our names were highlighted in red on the attendance register but nobody else's was," Stuart says. "But once we found the right agency – After Adoption – it was superb. They were very supportive, really thorough, and it really wasn't an issue that we were gay."
To read more go to http://bit.ly/oCApko
Eleven years ago, when Karen decided to try for a baby with her long-term partner, she had no idea how to go about it. She felt uncomfortable disclosing her lesbian relationship to her doctor and wasn't keen on using a sperm bank because she felt strongly that she wanted her child to know who its father was. In the end, by chance, a friend offered to donate sperm. "When I found out I was pregnant, I was over the moon with happiness," she says. "But back then, there wasn't any information for gay and lesbian couples so throughout the whole thing we felt isolated and totally unaware of any legal issues, which could easily have arisen."
In fact, Barrie and Tony Drewitt-Barlow made legal history in 1999 when they won a battle to bring their twins, conceived via donor eggs and carried to term by a surrogate mother, home to Britain after they were born in America. The twins became the first British children to be registered as having two fathers and no mother.
Nowadays things are a bit different. We've got Elton John and David Furnish introducing their surrogate son, Zachary, on the front of OK! magazine. In February, we had Sex and the City's Cynthia Nixon introducing the world to the baby boy she had with her girlfriend, Christine Marinoni. Glee star Jane Lynch is stepmother to two daughters from her partner Dr Lara Embry's previous relationship. And there's even a gay adoption plot brewing in EastEnders. It's now so commonplace, a new bi-monthly glossy entitled Pink Parenting is due to hit the newsstands next month.
The magazine is the creation of long-term gay couple Jeff Crockett and Giorgiou Severi, who also publish Europe's leading fertility magazine, Fertility Road. The first issue features an interview with Ricky Martin talking about his twin boys, Valentino and Matteo, recipes from children's food expert Annabel Karmel, plus everything same-sex couples need to know about adoption, fostering and surrogacy.
Over the past 50 years, we have seen a complete shift in what the model of the family looks like and it appears the rise of the gay family is a big part of the next chapter. According to the Department for Education, there were 120 same-sex couples who adopted in 2010. Crockett and Severi cite figures from the 2000 American census, which revealed that 39 per cent of same-sex couples in the States between the ages of 22 and 55 were raising children. "Gay surrogacy or adoption is becoming a common-day occurrence, we are used to the idea. The world is ready for it now," Severi says.
Karen and Erika agree. After their less-than-happy experience 11 years ago, they decided to set up a website, Pride Angel, which is now the world's leading connection site putting lesbian and gay couples together with donors. It provides masses of information, including how to draw up the all-important donor or co-parenting agreements that outline financial and legal obligations.
That Pride Angel now has more than 7,000 members is testament to how big this issue has become.
When Oskana decided to have a baby with her long-term partner, Stacey, they too were lucky enough to have a friend volunteer to donate sperm. They now have a two-year-old and a four-year-old, both of whom were carried by Oskana but adopted by Stacey within weeks of the birth. Now both mothers have names on the birth certificate and absolutely equal parenting rights.
"We sat down with the donor and worked everything out," Oskana says. "He wanted to have visibility but in a sort of 'distant uncle' kind of way. We agreed he would have no rights and no responsibilities and that he wouldn't be morally or financially obligated to do anything."
Stuart and Mark, who live near Manchester and have been in a civil partnership since 2008, took the adoption route. This month, the papers finally came through saying that the two young boys who had been placed with them since last May were officially theirs.
Even though it's now enshrined in law, in the Adoption and Children Act 2002, that same-sex couples get exactly the same rights as heterosexual couples when it comes to adoption, Stuart says he definitely felt they were treated differently because they were gay. "We went for an open evening at Stockport Council and noticed that our names were highlighted in red on the attendance register but nobody else's was," Stuart says. "But once we found the right agency – After Adoption – it was superb. They were very supportive, really thorough, and it really wasn't an issue that we were gay."
To read more go to http://bit.ly/oCApko
Saturday, 18 June 2011
BBC1 new documentary; looking for gay and lesbian families
Off The Fence Productions are developing a new documentary for BBC1 which will feature in a series of programmes looking at Modern Britain and the changing landscape of what a typical family looks like today.
They are specifically looking to find a gay or lesbian parent family who would be willing to share their story and experiences in the form of a one hour documentary.
In particular they are looking for families who already have children and could give an added insight into family life and what it is like growing up with gay/lesbian parents.
The programme would be an overarching look at modern families, however they would need to follow a family event taking place over the next 12 months.
This could be anything from trying for/adopting another baby to a christening, a marriage, starting a business, an extended family holiday, prom, etc.
To read more go to http://bit.ly/jP3jHx
They are specifically looking to find a gay or lesbian parent family who would be willing to share their story and experiences in the form of a one hour documentary.
In particular they are looking for families who already have children and could give an added insight into family life and what it is like growing up with gay/lesbian parents.
The programme would be an overarching look at modern families, however they would need to follow a family event taking place over the next 12 months.
This could be anything from trying for/adopting another baby to a christening, a marriage, starting a business, an extended family holiday, prom, etc.
To read more go to http://bit.ly/jP3jHx
Friday, 27 May 2011
Pink Parenting Magazine to launch for the gay and lesbian community
Welcome to Europe’s first Premier Same Sex Parenting Magazine for the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender) community.
In these modern times more gay people are becoming parents than ever before as many in the LGBT community seek to fulfil their dreams of having a family especially with so many countries around the globe now making same sex marriage available. Pink Parenting is here to do just that. Bringing you everything you need to start a family from surrogacy options, adoption and the legal aspects of being a modern family to what’s the best stroller out there on the market.
A SNEAK PEAK INTO THE AUDIENCE: While we are feverishly working on getting the statistics for the UK & Europe, our research has shown that:
According to the 2000 Census - SAME-SEX COUPLES IN THE UNITED STATES
• Census 2000 identified same-sex couples in every state and virtually every county in the United States.
• Individuals living in same-sex couples not only live throughout the country, but share all of the other attributes of the U.S.'s population.
• Individuals in same-sex couples contribute to the economy: 71% of them are employed compared with 65% of individuals in married couples.
• 65% of SS couples one partner is a homeowner. By comparison, one or both partners are homeowners in 43% of different-sex unmarried couples.
• More than 39% of same-sex couples in the United States aged 22-55 are raising children.
Unlike many other gay magazines, our demographic is LGBT couples between the age of 30 to 45 that are more interested in modern day life and having a family and growing out of the gay club scene. We are also working with many LGBT organizations to promote and distribute the magazine. The magazine is also available through the www.Pink-Parenting.com website and will soon be available via www.prideangel.com
To Read more go to
In these modern times more gay people are becoming parents than ever before as many in the LGBT community seek to fulfil their dreams of having a family especially with so many countries around the globe now making same sex marriage available. Pink Parenting is here to do just that. Bringing you everything you need to start a family from surrogacy options, adoption and the legal aspects of being a modern family to what’s the best stroller out there on the market.
A SNEAK PEAK INTO THE AUDIENCE: While we are feverishly working on getting the statistics for the UK & Europe, our research has shown that:
According to the 2000 Census - SAME-SEX COUPLES IN THE UNITED STATES
• Census 2000 identified same-sex couples in every state and virtually every county in the United States.
• Individuals living in same-sex couples not only live throughout the country, but share all of the other attributes of the U.S.'s population.
• Individuals in same-sex couples contribute to the economy: 71% of them are employed compared with 65% of individuals in married couples.
• 65% of SS couples one partner is a homeowner. By comparison, one or both partners are homeowners in 43% of different-sex unmarried couples.
• More than 39% of same-sex couples in the United States aged 22-55 are raising children.
Unlike many other gay magazines, our demographic is LGBT couples between the age of 30 to 45 that are more interested in modern day life and having a family and growing out of the gay club scene. We are also working with many LGBT organizations to promote and distribute the magazine. The magazine is also available through the www.Pink-Parenting.com website and will soon be available via www.prideangel.com
To Read more go to
Thursday, 31 March 2011
The children we fostered didn't care if we were gay or straight
Six years ago, DAVE THOMAS and his partner decided to become foster parents – but as a gay couple, they faced and uphill struggle. Here, he recalls the obstacles they overcame to provide a family for children in need
WE FIRST thought about fostering six years ago. Patrick and I wanted children, but gay couples in Ireland aren’t allowed to adopt, which seemed unfair. So we discussed fostering, which is allowed.
It would be another two years before we would apply. In that time, we wondered whether we would be able to cope with the challenging behaviour of a damaged child. How would it affect our private lives? Would people talk about us in a negative way?
To foster in Ireland, you apply either to the HSE or a private fostering company. We chose the private company, which had a comprehensive list of support services. A social worker visited and explained that the intensive assessment could take months.
If you had any skeletons in your closet, she warned, they would emerge. We had no concerns on that score, and waited excitedly for the letter of acceptance from the company. When it arrived, it was a rejection.
A representative explained that, while we were “excellent candidates to foster”, the company was rejecting us because I had not told my parents I was gay. They accepted that my elderly parents already knew, but they still wanted me to tell them.
Unless that happened, our application would go no further. We asked the company whether they had insisted that heterosexual couples tell their parents they were straight. They hadn’t.
We wrote suggesting they were discriminating against us. When the company director visited, we told him we would pursue legal action. A week later, our application was processed.
To read more go to
WE FIRST thought about fostering six years ago. Patrick and I wanted children, but gay couples in Ireland aren’t allowed to adopt, which seemed unfair. So we discussed fostering, which is allowed.
It would be another two years before we would apply. In that time, we wondered whether we would be able to cope with the challenging behaviour of a damaged child. How would it affect our private lives? Would people talk about us in a negative way?
To foster in Ireland, you apply either to the HSE or a private fostering company. We chose the private company, which had a comprehensive list of support services. A social worker visited and explained that the intensive assessment could take months.
If you had any skeletons in your closet, she warned, they would emerge. We had no concerns on that score, and waited excitedly for the letter of acceptance from the company. When it arrived, it was a rejection.
A representative explained that, while we were “excellent candidates to foster”, the company was rejecting us because I had not told my parents I was gay. They accepted that my elderly parents already knew, but they still wanted me to tell them.
Unless that happened, our application would go no further. We asked the company whether they had insisted that heterosexual couples tell their parents they were straight. They hadn’t.
We wrote suggesting they were discriminating against us. When the company director visited, we told him we would pursue legal action. A week later, our application was processed.
To read more go to
Wednesday, 23 February 2011
Gay and lesbian parenting research - can you help?
Would you like to take part in some cutting edge, exciting new research?
Emilie Garvey, an undergraduate Sociology student at Newcastle University, is interested in hearing from lesbian and gay individuals and couples to take part in an exciting project in a new and expanding area of research: Assisted Reproduction and the Alternative Family. The aim of the study is to explore the experiences of same-sex couples in their decision-making processes involved in starting a family of their own with the aid of assisted reproduction technologies. The study also welcomes participation from gay and lesbian individuals who might start a family in the future or who simply would like to offer an opinion or point of view for the research.
Why is the study being done?
Recent changes in legislation have widened the options available for same-sex couples who wish to start a family. Media portrayals of celebrity couples undergoing such processes have also recently increased public awareness of the decision making process, the social stigma that such couples might have to face and have offered a chance to ‘look inside’ the ‘Alternative Family’. This study, however, aims to research the decision making processes involved prior to, and throughout, the process. The researcher also hopes gain an in depth understanding of the obstacles and hurdles which affect same-sex couples in the UK who wish to have a family of their own.
Am I eligible to take part?
If you are a lesbian woman or gay man, single, in a relationship or in a civil partnership, who have experience of assisted reproduction in starting a family, or who would simply like to offer the researcher an opinion on the issues involved, you are eligible to take part in this study.
To read more go to http://bit.ly/hlKLTU
Emilie Garvey, an undergraduate Sociology student at Newcastle University, is interested in hearing from lesbian and gay individuals and couples to take part in an exciting project in a new and expanding area of research: Assisted Reproduction and the Alternative Family. The aim of the study is to explore the experiences of same-sex couples in their decision-making processes involved in starting a family of their own with the aid of assisted reproduction technologies. The study also welcomes participation from gay and lesbian individuals who might start a family in the future or who simply would like to offer an opinion or point of view for the research.
Why is the study being done?
Recent changes in legislation have widened the options available for same-sex couples who wish to start a family. Media portrayals of celebrity couples undergoing such processes have also recently increased public awareness of the decision making process, the social stigma that such couples might have to face and have offered a chance to ‘look inside’ the ‘Alternative Family’. This study, however, aims to research the decision making processes involved prior to, and throughout, the process. The researcher also hopes gain an in depth understanding of the obstacles and hurdles which affect same-sex couples in the UK who wish to have a family of their own.
Am I eligible to take part?
If you are a lesbian woman or gay man, single, in a relationship or in a civil partnership, who have experience of assisted reproduction in starting a family, or who would simply like to offer the researcher an opinion on the issues involved, you are eligible to take part in this study.
To read more go to http://bit.ly/hlKLTU
Wednesday, 29 December 2010
Raised by a same-sex family?
With the recent good news that Elton John and David Furnish are celebrating the birth of their baby son, it brings to the attention same-sex families and how children who grow up to become young adults view their gay family upbringing.
Research has shown that same-sex parenting does not affect a child’s self esteem or well being, although it would be lovely to hear first hand, about people’s views and experiences. We would love to hear any feedback from any older children, young adults or adults regarding their views about how it has felt growing up as part of a gay family, the ups and downs or reactions from friends or family.
The Telegraph would like to run a news article about this subject area and would like any help regarding the views of adults raised by same-sex parents. They would treat any information received in a confidential and sensitive manner.
If you are able to help in any way, please contact Erika at Pride Angel for further information.
Go to http://bit.ly/hjkDGK
Research has shown that same-sex parenting does not affect a child’s self esteem or well being, although it would be lovely to hear first hand, about people’s views and experiences. We would love to hear any feedback from any older children, young adults or adults regarding their views about how it has felt growing up as part of a gay family, the ups and downs or reactions from friends or family.
The Telegraph would like to run a news article about this subject area and would like any help regarding the views of adults raised by same-sex parents. They would treat any information received in a confidential and sensitive manner.
If you are able to help in any way, please contact Erika at Pride Angel for further information.
Go to http://bit.ly/hjkDGK
Thursday, 14 October 2010
The Times are looking to speak with lesbian and gay co-parenting families
The Times Weekend section are doing a piece on the Alternative Families Show, taking place Saturday 23rd October 2010 - 10am to 5pm GRAND CONNAUGHT ROOMS, COVENT GARDEN, LONDON
The Times are looking for a compelling case study to lead the piece, of people who have successfully started a family through co-parenting.
Would any of our members be interested in a photo shoot and an interview with them, talking about your experience of finding someone to start a family with, who you are not in a relationship with?
Any interested members would need to be photographed, but this could be done in an anonymous way if necessary. If both co-parents are willing to speak that would also be fantastic. The Times are interested in Lesbian couples who have used a known sperm donor or gay and lesbian singles or couples who have made co-parenting arrangements.
The piece would be sensitive and non-sensationalist, highlighting the growing number of people who realise their dream of starting a family using alternative means.
The Times would like to speak with anyone interested, as soon as possible.
Please contact Pride Angel for further information contact us
Pride Angel will be exhibiting at the Alternative Families Show and we are happy to help answer any questions you may have regarding:
Choosing to use a known donor
Co-parenting arrangements
Health screening
Fertility law
Home insemination
We look forward to seeing you there. Pride Angel
To read more go to http://bit.ly/9GlgwM
The Times are looking for a compelling case study to lead the piece, of people who have successfully started a family through co-parenting.
Would any of our members be interested in a photo shoot and an interview with them, talking about your experience of finding someone to start a family with, who you are not in a relationship with?
Any interested members would need to be photographed, but this could be done in an anonymous way if necessary. If both co-parents are willing to speak that would also be fantastic. The Times are interested in Lesbian couples who have used a known sperm donor or gay and lesbian singles or couples who have made co-parenting arrangements.
The piece would be sensitive and non-sensationalist, highlighting the growing number of people who realise their dream of starting a family using alternative means.
The Times would like to speak with anyone interested, as soon as possible.
Please contact Pride Angel for further information contact us
Pride Angel will be exhibiting at the Alternative Families Show and we are happy to help answer any questions you may have regarding:
Choosing to use a known donor
Co-parenting arrangements
Health screening
Fertility law
Home insemination
We look forward to seeing you there. Pride Angel
To read more go to http://bit.ly/9GlgwM
Saturday, 8 May 2010
'Bringing up Baby' - Birth certificates naming two dads
Birth certificates naming two gay dads are now a reality in the UK. Natalie Gamble and Louisa Ghevaert founding partners of one of UK's leading specialist fertility law firms. Gamble & Ghevaert explain these groundbreaking legal changes.
There is definately an art to building a family as a gay man. Times are changing, and the UK's new gay-friendly surrogacy laws are just one example of the options now available.
As of 6 April 2010, an important legal change now enables gay men to apply for a court order making them the joint legal parents if they have a child through surrogacy. The court will trigger the re-issue of their surrogate child's birth certificate so that it names them both as the parents.
It means that gay dads who have a child through surrogacy can now use the UK's surrogacy laws to become full and equal legal parents-and get a birth certificate to prove it.
There is definately an art to building a family as a gay man. Times are changing, and the UK's new gay-friendly surrogacy laws are just one example of the options now available.
As of 6 April 2010, an important legal change now enables gay men to apply for a court order making them the joint legal parents if they have a child through surrogacy. The court will trigger the re-issue of their surrogate child's birth certificate so that it names them both as the parents.
It means that gay dads who have a child through surrogacy can now use the UK's surrogacy laws to become full and equal legal parents-and get a birth certificate to prove it.
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