Pride Angel Journey - Food

With babies, food is simple: it’s just very messy. We did baby-led-weaning which means avoiding spooning mush into them and pretty much letting them feed themselves with whatever we happened to be making for ourselves that meal. They fed themselves, their bibs, their chairs, the table, the floor and anything within a 2-metre radius. Messy.
With toddlers, food is less messy, but it is complicated. As the messiness subsides, the complicatedness increases – mathematically, it is a case of negative correlation. For us, it probably started with a mild unwillingness to try new foods. But other issues arose. Like the problem of foods mixing on the plate or contaminating each other. Porridge must be served flat. VERY flat. Where relevant, food items should be served whole: chopping constituent parts to cool them or prevent them being a choking hazard can be hazardous in itself. Some foods are always edible. Butter, for example, which is best consumed in isolation and in quantity, ideally straight from the packet in large bites. I would consider placing a bet on Willow’s ability, given fifteen minutes to locate (and consume) a raisin in any room. Chips trump anything and the wily toddler having finished his or her own portion in seconds, will develop a range of tactics designed to separate other, more naïve diners from their own share. I’m sure it wasn’t coincidence that a fairly rare occurrence of the word ‘please’ arose in the sentence “Willow, please may I have your chips?’ Willow meanwhile, fearing their imminent loss, rammed all five chips on his plate into his mouth at once. All of this is further complicated by friends and relatives occasionally coming out with ridiculous old classics like “you can’t have any pudding until you’ve eaten your main course”, as if pudding is some sort of reward for making it through the drudgery of savoury food. And amidst the imperious demands of “I want…!” and the horror-stricken cries of “Don’t cut it up…!”, I wonder…messy, then complicated…then calm and straightforward? Somehow I doubt it. Article: by Lindsey, West Yorkshire 10th April 2016

Pride Angel Journey - Wearing Pink Pyjamas

In the 70’s when I grew up my mum tells me that for purchasing baby and toddler clothes, there was only really Mothercare. I guess they sold dresses and stuff, but when I look back at old family albums, for the most part I seem to be pottering around (with my pageboy hairstyle) wearing brown or blue dungarees. And when you flick ahead, there he is, my brother wearing the very same clothes two years later.
Now, however, Everywhere sells baby and toddler clothes. And Everywhere is well aware that if you polarise them by gender, as long as enough people have both a boy AND a girl, you can sell double the quantity. Same as for toys.
So it’s pastel with a heavy smattering of pink frills – flowers, butterflies and Peppa Pig. Or primary colours with diggers, tractors, and Thomas the Tank Engine.
Now, within weeks of Luna’s birth we quickly realised he speed at which clothes are outgrown. And whilst after the first year or so, the outgrowing panic settles a little as they stop growing ten centimetres every time you turn your head, having ‘one of each’ wasn’t going to stop us getting a bit more wear out of those clothes.
So Willow wears Luna’s pink sleepsuits, pink inflatable swimming costume and the odd floral t-shirt when the digger ones are in the wash.
It’s not just the money and waste though. Luna’s puddle suit and wellies have lorries and concrete mixers on – her current obsession. ‘Boys’’ dungarees can be more practical for exploring the garden. But a dress is handy when you’re potty learning…
Nevertheless, the pink sleepsuits in particular haven’t gone unnoticed by one or two male family members. I’m not immune to ‘what people think’ and I’m sure as our children get older, they won’t be either. And I understand that people have concerns about lesbian mummies raising boys (for some reason raising girls seems to be less of an issue). It’s true that we do need to take responsibility for making sure that in years to come, Willow knows how to be a man, and I’m aware that as he grows older we need to think about how we can put him in the path of suitable male role models: there is much to being a man, and I know little of it. But I’m fairly sure it has very little to do with the colour of your pyjamas, pink or otherwise.
Article: by Lindsey, West Yorkshire 14th September 2015

Pride Angel Journey | One less pregnant lesbian, one more lesbian family

Another contraction. I crawled out of bed. When Sally found me, I was on the bathroom floor, doubled over as one nauseating contraction followed another. She phoned the birth centre, and after ten minutes, someone finally answered, by which time I was vomiting. I had been dreading the ten-minute, knee-to-ear backseat Yaris journey to the hospital but, despite three contractions, sick-bucket to hand, out in the cool of the night-time air, I felt a sort of purposeful excitement. And then horribly self-conscious as I hobbled through the main-entrance of the hospital in my pyjama bottoms, Bagpuss wheatpack clenched to my abdomen, Tens machine wires trailing. Suddenly it was all an episode of ‘One-Born-Every-Minute’; the next clip would be the pregnant lesbian being ushered back out again past a crowd of onlookers, in disgrace over inadequate dilation. But the corridors were dimly-lit and deserted. In the soft lights and quiet of the night, the birth-centre was even more spa-like than we had remembered. I located a coffee table over which to contract while the midwife went off to get a birthing ball. The mood was of excited relief – we’d been determined to avoid the labour ward and, while transfer due to complications was not out of the question, now my bath was running, surely they’d let me stay? Initially, I refused to be examined, for fear of being sent home again, but with a little persuasion from our midwife, I relented – eight centimetres dilated already; only two to go. Lowering myself gingerly into the pool, I felt the relaxing effects of the water. I knelt, leaning on the side where Sally held my hands. And the contractions continued. I tried gas and air, which didn’t seem to have much effect, but it gave me something to focus on. Having brought with us enough food to feed a small village, Sally was munching on ‘Thai Bites’, the smell of which I will always associate with the later stages of labour. At some point, things reached a peak – transition – and sometime afterwards, I was pushing, kicking my legs back through the water with the exertion. The presence of our midwife was reassuring – he hovered, sometimes just watchful in the shadows of the room, sometimes offering encouragement, checking progress with a mirror in the water. I remember a point where I wanted to ask “how much longer?”, but didn’t. And then after one of the pushes there was a release, and suddenly my insides were stilled; it was over. The midwife was passing me the slippery warmth of a baby and it was already incredible that it was this that had been inside me, this creature, this tiny girl, so real and wriggling and wholly new. Article: by Lindsey, West Yorkshire 14th January 2013

Pride Angel Journey | What do lesbians and babies have in common?

They all come out in the end... I was eight days overdue and the pressure was mounting – but unfortunately only metaphorical pressure rather than the literal pressure that might signal labour was imminent. Despite our hopes for the birth centre, induction and the labour ward was once again looming. Then, at bedtime, I sensed change. A slight abdominal ache, back pain, a heaviness between my legs. The next morning brought some splotches of a creamy, bloody stuff and I knew the time was nigh. I had a labour-inducing acupuncture session booked for that morning and, lying on the couch wired up, watching a muscle in my hand quite disconcertingly twitch of its own accord, I mused on how the £38 could perhaps have been more usefully spent. Back home, there was an ominous atmosphere. Looking outside, I expected to see a sky expectant of a storm, heavy and murderous, but the clouds were white and calm as if unaware of what was surely beginning inside me. Preparing lunch, I doubled over briefly – a sudden shooting pain in my abdomen. Just like I sometimes got with my period. Sudden and then gone. And then again, half an hour later. I made myself comfortable in the conservatory with a wheat pack on my abdomen and got my knitting out, ignoring the inkling that such behaviour merited my immediate removal to a retirement home. 8pm. After a shuffle round the streets for a bit of fresh air, we got the tens machine attached and settled down with a film - To Kill a Mockingbird - and popcorn. The pains were sharper now; when I felt them coming, I knelt on the floor and leant over my birthing ball. By 10pm the noise of the film was distracting and the popcorn was starting to make me feel sick. 11pm. The pains (I suspected they were contractions, but was reluctant to use the 'c' word in case they weren't) were stabbing and sudden and I was beginning to rethink my minimum pain-relief birth plan. Sally packed the car and ran me a bath. She phoned the midwife and explained that her partner was in labour (once again 'coming out' which it seemed happened every few days for one or both of us towards the end of our 'lesbian pregnancy'). The midwife told us it could be three or four days yet, so at midnight, we settled down in bed to try and get some rest. Article: by Lindsey, West Yorkshire 1st December 2013

Pride Angel Journey - Birth Training in Adverse Weather Conditions

It was a sunny Sunday morning at the end of March. While we waited for our NCT instructor to arrive at our house (the block of sessions we had booked months previously had been cancelled due to lack of interest so we were having an intensive private session) we stomped around the driveway, digging our cars out of a three-foot high snowdrift – well, thirty-five weeks pregnant I stomped about waving a broom rather ineffectively, while my partner, Sally, did some serious work with a spade. It was the first time we had bothered with this sort of lark –in the past I’d looked a little condescendingly on those who have the time to potter about their driveway with a shovel when half an inch of snow falls – but in today’s conditions, without removing mounds of snow, our cars would be going nowhere, and we had our nephew’s christening to attend that afternoon. So it was that we were wielding our implements when a laden figure lolloped into sight through the drifts. We called out greetings from a hundred yards away – the layer of snow seemed to make the world smaller, such that from quite long distances you were really rather friendly even to people you didn’t know. There was a quiet, a thick solid feeling, where a shouted greeting carried crisply and clearly to its intended recipient. We expressed gratitude to our instructor for hiking through the drifts with her bags of plastic pelvises and baby dolls, but she seemed unphased, despite the early hour – it wasn’t yet ten o’clock, and on a Sunday morning – but we knew she had kids, so that means you’re up at…well…what o’clock? Six perhaps? Seven if you’re very lucky? So much to look forward to. “We’ve read quite a lot already, so we know the basic stuff,” we said. And we did. Despite recent concerns over my amniotic fluid levels, I was still determined to have the natural birth I’d planned, the wild animal burrowed safely in the undergrowth, the hunter-gatherer woman finding a quiet corner of the forest. Nevertheless, birth was still rather an alien concept to us and I knew even then that shoving a baby doll through a plastic pelvis and examining an (albeit colourful) NCT birth progress wall frieze would do little to change that. I was certainly getting to grips with the idea of a long period where the little bumps in the chart got bigger and closer together, and then this odd bit called transition that would be bad, and then pushing for quite a bit and then the baby coming out. I was also vaguely aware of a bit after that concerning the placenta which didn’t seem very interesting. But I really had no idea of what a contraction might feel like and trying to imagine all this as a process I was going to experience, at some point in the next few weeks, partly here at home, partly at the hospital (or if we were very lucky and they let us in, the birth centre) seemed impossible. Then we moved on to the baby bit. And here I really didn’t have a clue. I knew three things about babies: firstly that they cried, and we should try to ‘regulate’ this crying so they didn’t get too stressed – we’d read up on that; secondly that they didn’t sleep very well; and thirdly that they wore vests and baby gros of which you needed many – presumably because they were sick a lot/nappies didn’t work very well. So I made a careful study of the NCT images of baby birth marks, rashes and a whole range of bizarre blemishes and blotches which it seemed babies were frequently born with – apparently much to the surprise of their parents, who are expecting it to slip out all fresh faced and rosy, as if they have just been for an invigorating constitutional in the Autumn air. Then we studied pictures of baby poo. Black and tarry for newborns, then greenish, brownish, and yellowish with bits in. Lovely. Finally, the instructor demonstrated a Stretchy Wrap. We had a mound of various slings and carriers, all of which had been passed on by a friend, except one, the Ergo Baby carrier which we had bought ourselves, months ago – in fact it had been the first piece of baby equipment we had actually purchased: sleepless and sick at 3am one morning back in November, I had researched the topic in some detail. Wraps and slings scared me – I’ve never been particularly dexterous (and was already slightly concerned about how I’d manage all the plaiting and pig-tailing if we were to have a girl) and so thought I’d be more at home with the structured carriers. My nocturnal reading had taught me about the importance of hip position, about how most of the carriers available on the high street are designed to allow the baby to dangle from the crotch, which didn’t sound ideal. So we’d bought the Ergo Baby carrier, a carrier which places the baby in a comfortable seated position with their bottom low and knees high in a sort of squat. It was supposed to be very comfortable for parents too. And came in a lovely shade of purple. Nevertheless, the stretchy wrap demonstrated to us by our instructor, despite just being a long piece of material, seemed very cosy, very easy to tie and clearly encouraged the good hip position; after she’d left, promising to send us various links and book recommendations, we ordered one – a ‘Sabe’, in green and grey, reversible. Then it was on through the snow to the Christening, and as always happens, when we arrived at Ramsbottom, our destination on the other side of the Pennines, there wasn’t a hint of the white stuff; we were the only guests dressed for blizzard conditions in what turned out to be rather a bright spring day. But on Monday morning, for us at least, it was back to navigating carefully between the gigantic white mole hills down either side of our little cul-de-sac as I headed to my now weekly scan/consultant appointment. Amniotic fluid still disappointingly low. Not especially low. But enough keep me under consultant care and out of the birth centre. Enough to warrant induction at forty weeks. Once home, we tried another angle and I phoned the consultant midwife for the area. Clearly thoroughly passionate about birth, she had answered her work mobile on a day off and spent an hour enthusiastically discussing our situation: the hospital’s ‘diagnosis’ and desire to intervene; our desperate quest for the gentleness and tranquillity of the birth centre. She went away to do a bit of research and then phoned back, supportive of our wishes: she thought I could have a midwife-led birth. We had an ally. Back at work it was the final week before the Easter holidays. I was dashing around desperately trying to ensure that everything was up-to-date and ready for me to leave. I was due to go back for two days after the holiday, but knowing that the hospital could suddenly decide to induce me after any one of my weekly scans, I wanted to make sure all loose ends were tied: A’ level and GCSE coursework completed and marked, classroom tidy and cleared of my stuff, responsibilities transferred to others. I dashed around, dragging my pregnancy risk-assessment trolley full of books, out of breath and gulping from a litre bottle of water at every opportunity. And as each task was ticked off the list, I could almost feel my bump breathe a sigh of relief – at last, you’re going to concentrate on me. Article: 20th October 2013 by Lindsey, West Yorkshire Read more Lesbian parenting blogs at www.prideangel.com

Ontario sperm donor and lesbian couple in dispute, settle out of court

A sperm donor and lesbian couple from Ontario Canada who have been fighting over custody of their two year old son, have suddenly settled their case, after months of litigation and shortly before a scheduled trial. The man had signed an agreement that he would have nothing to do with his genetic offspring. But he had second thoughts after the baby was born, felt the biological mother had reneged on her part of their deal and asked the courts to recognize him as the father, providing liberal access. The suit, whose parties cannot be named under the terms of a publication ban, has now been effectively withdrawn. ‘It is always better for litigants to come to a resolution on their own’ “This is certainly the right outcome for this loving, bonded and stable family,” Michelle Flowerday, the couple’s lawyer, said in an emailed statement. “It is always better for litigants to come to a resolution on their own, as opposed to having one imposed upon them by the court.” The fact that the courts will not rule on the dispute, however, leaves a gap in the law in Ontario and other provinces, she said. There is a growing national movement to make clear that donating sperm does not equate to being a parent, but only B.C., Alberta and Quebec have enshrined the idea in their legislation, said Ms. Flowerday. The donor and his lawyer could not be reached for comment. Growing numbers of children are being born in Canada as a result of in-vitro fertilization and other forms of “assisted” reproduction. When donations are obtained anonymously from sperm banks, and in the few provinces with laws that directly address the issue, parenthood is generally uncontested. Where couples and single people make arrangements with sperm donors they know, however, the rights of the various parties remain largely unresolved. The northern Ontario dispute boasted the most clear-cut set of facts of any to reach the courts, making it an ideal legal testing ground. A trial was scheduled for this summer. The donor was a high-school acquaintance of the biological mother, and initially agreed to bear a child for him, as well, if he agreed to provide his sperm. The actual agreement he signed, though, did not mention that part of their arrangement. He went to court after the boy was born, saying that he had felt pressured by the mother and that she now appeared unwilling to have a baby for him. But then, at a meeting last week, the parties agreed to a declaration that the two women are the child’s parents and the donor is not his father, according to an order issued by Justice Gregory Ellies of the Ontario Superior Court. ‘I don’t think anybody wants to be a test case’ The document also includes a restraining order preventing him from having contact with the child or the two women. In exchange, though, he and his parents have the right to one meeting of at least an hour in a public place, with an agreed-upon third party observing. The donor and his parents “may not initiate physical contact” with the boy, and cannot take photographs or video. As well, the man and his parents are barred from identifying themselves as the child’s father or grandparents, said the order. “I don’t think anybody wants to be a test case,” noted Fiona Kelly, a University of British Columbia law professor who studies the field, about the settlement. The lack of a ruling, however, means continued ambiguity in the majority of provinces that lack laws like one recently enacted in B.C., she said. That legislation says being a sperm donor does not in itself make someone a father. Article: 13th April 2013 www.news.nationalpost.com Read more about using a known sperm donor in the UK at www.prideangel.com

Mothercare voucher competition winner | Two mums personal journey

When I met Caitlin in January 2010 I couldn’t help but fall for her. She was originally from Scotland and her charm and the way she made me feel so special and the only girl in the world was immense! She already had 2 sons, Brett and Ashton whom she had via a clinic by artificial insemination. This cost her a fortune but she wanted to be a mother so much. We became inseparable and moved in together in March 2010. The boys became like my own, they didn’t get on with Caitlin’s ex and their father was an anonymous donor. They called me mum from months into us all living together. In August 2011 we had our civil ceremony with our closest family and friends...I felt the happiest girl alive! Thinking back I had an extreme urge to have a baby of my own from around October 2011. The feeling was so strong and I told Caitlin that it was time to look at the options available to us. We found the Pride Angel site in December 2011 and spent hours trawling the sperm donors on the site and looking at information about how to do 'home insemination'. Caitlin had always found the insemination at the clinic too 'clinical' so we decided to try ourselves. We found an ideal sperm donor and after a few messages back and forth decided that we really wanted him to help us. I felt uncertain about meeting our potential donor but Caitlin arranged to meet him to find out more. He was a kind, caring and genuine man. His sister had problems conceiving and therefore he wanted to help those people who can’t have children themselves. He told us to let him know as soon as we knew when I was ovulating and we could arrange to meet him for the sperm donation. I bought the deluxe home insemination kit, we did a few tests runs before the big day. I used ovulation sticks to monitor my most fertile days and it was whilst we were away at a family resort (on our last day there luckily!) that we got the smiley face and I was ovulating! We contacted our donor straight away and arranged to collect the sample. That evening we used the speculum, syringe and syringe extenders. We bought a special lubricant which helped the sperm live longer and move quicker. It was so tense at first, we couldn’t quite believe how far we had come since we first met. We managed to relax in the comfort of our own home, surrounded by candles and a few cheeky drinks :) After the insemination I lay with my bottom in the air against the wall for 20 minutes. I climaxed twice, legs still up the wall. (this is advised as gentle contractions in your uterus can help the sperm along into the cervix) The 2 week wait was horrendous. I went through a rollercoaster of emotions... sad, angry, excited, worried... On the day of my due period Caitlin was worried about me, we were both so stressed and just needed to know the outcome. So... we did a test. There was one dark line across the test instantly and we needed a vertical line for a positive. Caitlin wouldn’t let me see it until the full 3 minutes was up! As we uncovered the test after 3 minutes Caitlin had a massive grin across her face. She had snuck a peek just before. There was a line making a cross = positive. We could not believe it. After one attempt we were pregnant!! I screamed my head off and Brett and Ashton rushed in, we told them and tears streamed down their faces. I could barely breathe and couldn’t believe it. The day after we did further tests just to make sure...all positive. I am now 4 weeks pregnant and couldn’t be happier. We are already buying baby stuff and making plans for our new arrival! We would always recommend the Pride Angel insemination kits. We believe the syringe extenders were vital in getting the sperm in exactly the right place. Thank you Pride Angel!! We will keep you updated on the progress of our baby bean. Winning article: by Rachel and Caitlin 15th July 2012

Lesbian Fertility Journey - Annoying little BEEPS and Olympic Gold Swimmers

Like most people, I always look forward to the longer daylight hours of spring. This year though, I await it with a particular eagerness, because the lighter mornings will bring an end to frantic half-conscious scrabbling around in the dark for the thermometer, torch, pen and notepad. I’m not sure quite how she does it, but whilst I am still fumbling around on my bedside table sending the random paraphernalia of my nocturnal life in all directions, I invariably hear the smug BEEP of my partner’s thermometer: waking temperature taken, job done. Never mind the life transformation new parents undergo; we’re already experiencing a whole new world – and language – of BBT, ICI and FSH among others. Our collection of monthly charts is growing and a daily analysis of the ups and downs usually leads to me wondering whether typing “=OVULATION” into an Excel spread sheet might be worth a try. I’ve prodded and pondered on the texture of parts of my body I barely knew existed. And the Sarah Waters and Emma Donoghue novels have been shelved in favour of titles which usually include the words “lesbian” and then “insemination”, “conception” and/or "pregnancy”. The Americanisms – it seems most are from over the Atlantic – get a bit tedious, but we’re lucky such publications exist at all – I don’t suppose anyone looking for such material ten years ago would have had much success. One result of finding myself in a happy long-term lesbian relationship that I could not perhaps have predicted, was a serious interest in sperm. And I no longer find myself performing a dramatic squirm of disgust when the word is mentioned – spermatozoa (yes I’ve learnt the full name, and you need to trust me on this – that I just typed it with a serious and thoughtful expression on my face, no eeugh face or sperm squirm now). Try as I might though, I think I’ll always struggle a bit with looking at things from a scientific viewpoint; I need some frame of reference and sperm have become for me the athletes I’ll be following this year. It’s all about having a well-formed shape and getting up some speed as far as I can see. And if they do it in time for a gold medal in London this year, well, all the better – we’re ready for you. Because it’s amazing how your mind-set changes, and how in six months you can go from “we’d better start discussing the baby question before it’s too late to decide” to “right, where’s the sperm and when do we start?” It seems to happen so gradually, with each smug thermometer BEEP, you find yourself not only in the new world of BBT, ICI and FSH but wondering whether it’s too early to talk about which bedroom he or she would have, which high-chair seems like a good buy and will we get chance to go back to the gay book shop in London for that children’s book about the kids who have two mummies and/or two daddies or should we get it now? (We decided pre-definite sperm donor was a bit soon.) So the life transformation is already well underway – perhaps when we actually have a baby, this process will have made us so ready that we’ll barely notice it slip into our lives. Yes, parents reading this, I’m joking – I know – or rather, perhaps more to the point, I really have NO IDEA! So there you are: mittens and bootees might have a job to do sometime next winter, and as for my partner and I, we’ve got our eyes on the gold this summer, and next time the lighter mornings are on the way, perhaps we’ll be welcoming them with a new member of the family. And the nocturnal noise level might just have risen above that smug thermometer BEEP.

Lesbian couple talk about their journey to parenthood

Lesbian couple talk to Chicago Tribune about their experiences of becoming parents:
At first glance, Jennifer Snyder and Linda Borchew could not have been more different. Borchew grew up in Des Plaines and is Jewish. Snyder was raised Presbyterian in a one-stoplight town in central Illinois.

Back in 1997, they were students with a shared passion for women's softball. Their relationship started like many: a deep friendship that blossomed into something more.

Ten years later — on Jan. 4, 2007 — the high school administrators married at Niagara Falls, Canada, and they settled into blissful domesticity on a quiet residential street in Hoffman Estates.

"My dad said that the hardest part was that he'd never get to be a grandfather," Snyder said. But the women, now 37, had no intention of forgoing parenthood. Still, it took five years and more than $50,000 to reach their goal. Said Borchew: "We had no idea what we were in for."

Thirty years ago, same-sex couples started having children in ever-increasing numbers. Today, they still face a mixed bag of challenges when forming families, whether by adoption or reproductive technology, advocates say.

While some of the obstacles Borchew and Snyder encountered were no different than those experienced by infertile straight couples, others were a result of the nation's patchwork laws and lingering hurdles for same-sex couples. The couple gave the Tribune an inside look at the highs and lows on the path to parenthood for same-sex partners.

Currently, 19 percent of gay men and almost 50 percent of lesbians have a child, according to the the National Opinion Research Center's 2008 General Social Survey. As more states recognize same-sex marriage — Maryland became the eighth this month — while others have murky laws, the number of potential child-rearing headaches are bound to increase, experts say.

For Borchew and Snyder, their status informed nearly all their decision-making, such as where they'd deliver, lest they find themselves at a hospital that didn't recognize their union.

"If you create your family and don't fit into a typical pattern, you're going to have some holes in your legal relationship that you didn't even know about," said Jill Metz, a Chicago attorney who specializes in lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender cases. "It's a constantly evolving and very tricky situation."

In the beginning, the women knew they'd need hefty resources to have a baby. They didn't realize that they'd need deep reservoirs of patience, as well. First, they struggled to find an OB/GYN willing to do inseminations, as some medical personnel are uncomfortable working with gays or lesbians, they said.

"There's a reason that many lesbians make jokes about using a turkey baster at home," Snyder noted dryly. Eventually, they found their way to Chicago Women's Health Center, where Borchew's eggs were combined with donor sperm, then implanted into her womb.

Read more ....

Alternative Families Show - London 2011

SATURDAY 17TH SEPTEMBER 10 am - 5 pm

Demystifying the process of starting a family
GRAND CONNAUGHT ROOMS, COVENT GARDEN, LONDON


SEMINAR BOOKINGS NOW OPEN EACH SEMINAR BOOKED COSTS £3


• Thinking of becoming a parent?
• Want to understand the options available to you?
• Are you considering IVF, adoption or surrogacy?
• Want to understand your rights as a parent?
• Need help deciding on known or anonymous donors?
• Want to find support networks for same-sex parents?


A one-stop shop for anyone wanting to become a parent. The Alternative Families Show brings together all the information you need to make informed choices on parenthood. For the the lesbian and gay community, this is your opportunity to get some real facts surrounding same-sex parenting, co-parenting, surrogacy and much more.


Exhibitors 2011 include the following:

The lesbian, gay and bisexual charity. Stonewall played a key role in lobbying for important legislative changes for gay and lesbian parents.
www.stonewall.org.uk


Pride Angel is a leading worldwide connection site, fertility forum and blog for lesbian, gay, single and infertile couples, wishing to become parents through co-parenting and donor conception.
www.prideangel.com


British Association for Adoption and Fostering. Family finding, publications, training, conferences, consultancy, campaigning and advice.
www.baaf.org.uk


Over just the past 8 years, the BSC have matched over 35 couples and singles with surrogates, both traditional and gestational, and with egg donors, producing 45 babies! All of these couples have been matched with surrogates in the USA. Now with recent law changes in the UK and the positive encouragement from the UK community as a whole, we bring you The British Surrogacy Centre, dedicated to building families of the future and giving ordinary people the chance to have a family of their own.
www.britishsurrogacycentre.com

European Sperm Bank provides patients with donor choices. They select donors very carefully and use industry-leading donor screening procedures strictly in line with EU regulations.
www.europeanspermbank.com


L Group Families supports lesbians by providing specialist information and advice on the different services within the marketplace in order that they can make informed choices on the best treatment and options available to them and enjoy the prospect of parenthood. Our aims are:To provide support, information and advice to lesbians who are thinking about starting a family, (now or in the future); and to provide a support service to lesbian parents, carers and their children.
www.lgroupfamilies.org.uk


The North London Adoption Consortium (NLAC) is a partnership of five local authority adoption agencies (Barnet, Camden, Enfield, Haringey and Islington) and the voluntary agency Norwood. We all work together to provide the very best possible service for children waiting to be adopted and for those wanting to adopt. Working in partnership means we are able to offer a greater range of choice for children and adopters. By sharing information about waiting children and approved adopters, we are able to find new homes for children in a more efficient and timely manner.
www.adoptionnorthlondon.co.uk


Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority
Dedicated to licensing and monitoring UK fertility clinics and providing impartial and authoritative information to people considering or going through treatment or donating.
www.hfea.gov.uk


Kites Children’s Services has been established since 1995 to provide quality services for young people who present with sexual development problems which may lead to sexually harmful behaviour. Kites has a multidisciplinary team providing residential, fostering, education and aftercare placements all supported by therapeutic services and external consultants.
www.kitescs.com


New Family Social is the UK wide support network for LGBT adopters, foster carers and their children. We have over 450 families and families to be who share advice and encouragement online, and can find others near them in order to build their local support networks. Most importantly, our regular family events around the UK give our children the confidence of knowing other families like theirs.
www.newfamilysocial.co.uk


and many more exhibitors....

Seminars run throughout the day on subjects from conception, adoption, legal rights, & support networks. The show will give you access to information from top UK advisors in their field.

Seminars wil include talks by leading experts within their field such as:

Family ties and the law: Singles, gays and lesbians
by fertility and parenting lawyer: Natalie Gamble
www.nataliegambleassociates.com


Surrogacy and IVF for same sex couples and singles
by Dr Susan Treiser, IVF New Jersey and Barrie & Tony Drewitt-Barlow
www.britishsurrogacycentre.com

Glad to be gay parents - Is life getting easier for gay families?

With more same-sex celebrity couples proudly parading their children, is life getting easier for these unconventional set-ups?
Eleven years ago, when Karen decided to try for a baby with her long-term partner, she had no idea how to go about it. She felt uncomfortable disclosing her lesbian relationship to her doctor and wasn't keen on using a sperm bank because she felt strongly that she wanted her child to know who its father was. In the end, by chance, a friend offered to donate sperm. "When I found out I was pregnant, I was over the moon with happiness," she says. "But back then, there wasn't any information for gay and lesbian couples so throughout the whole thing we felt isolated and totally unaware of any legal issues, which could easily have arisen."

In fact, Barrie and Tony Drewitt-Barlow made legal history in 1999 when they won a battle to bring their twins, conceived via donor eggs and carried to term by a surrogate mother, home to Britain after they were born in America. The twins became the first British children to be registered as having two fathers and no mother.

Nowadays things are a bit different. We've got Elton John and David Furnish introducing their surrogate son, Zachary, on the front of OK! magazine. In February, we had Sex and the City's Cynthia Nixon introducing the world to the baby boy she had with her girlfriend, Christine Marinoni. Glee star Jane Lynch is stepmother to two daughters from her partner Dr Lara Embry's previous relationship. And there's even a gay adoption plot brewing in EastEnders. It's now so commonplace, a new bi-monthly glossy entitled Pink Parenting is due to hit the newsstands next month.

The magazine is the creation of long-term gay couple Jeff Crockett and Giorgiou Severi, who also publish Europe's leading fertility magazine, Fertility Road. The first issue features an interview with Ricky Martin talking about his twin boys, Valentino and Matteo, recipes from children's food expert Annabel Karmel, plus everything same-sex couples need to know about adoption, fostering and surrogacy.

Over the past 50 years, we have seen a complete shift in what the model of the family looks like and it appears the rise of the gay family is a big part of the next chapter. According to the Department for Education, there were 120 same-sex couples who adopted in 2010. Crockett and Severi cite figures from the 2000 American census, which revealed that 39 per cent of same-sex couples in the States between the ages of 22 and 55 were raising children. "Gay surrogacy or adoption is becoming a common-day occurrence, we are used to the idea. The world is ready for it now," Severi says.

Karen and Erika agree. After their less-than-happy experience 11 years ago, they decided to set up a website, Pride Angel, which is now the world's leading connection site putting lesbian and gay couples together with donors. It provides masses of information, including how to draw up the all-important donor or co-parenting agreements that outline financial and legal obligations.
That Pride Angel now has more than 7,000 members is testament to how big this issue has become.

When Oskana decided to have a baby with her long-term partner, Stacey, they too were lucky enough to have a friend volunteer to donate sperm. They now have a two-year-old and a four-year-old, both of whom were carried by Oskana but adopted by Stacey within weeks of the birth. Now both mothers have names on the birth certificate and absolutely equal parenting rights.

"We sat down with the donor and worked everything out," Oskana says. "He wanted to have visibility but in a sort of 'distant uncle' kind of way. We agreed he would have no rights and no responsibilities and that he wouldn't be morally or financially obligated to do anything."

Stuart and Mark, who live near Manchester and have been in a civil partnership since 2008, took the adoption route. This month, the papers finally came through saying that the two young boys who had been placed with them since last May were officially theirs.

Even though it's now enshrined in law, in the Adoption and Children Act 2002, that same-sex couples get exactly the same rights as heterosexual couples when it comes to adoption, Stuart says he definitely felt they were treated differently because they were gay. "We went for an open evening at Stockport Council and noticed that our names were highlighted in red on the attendance register but nobody else's was," Stuart says. "But once we found the right agency – After Adoption – it was superb. They were very supportive, really thorough, and it really wasn't an issue that we were gay."

To read more go to http://bit.ly/oCApko

BBC1 new documentary; looking for gay and lesbian families

Off The Fence Productions are developing a new documentary for BBC1 which will feature in a series of programmes looking at Modern Britain and the changing landscape of what a typical family looks like today.
They are specifically looking to find a gay or lesbian parent family who would be willing to share their story and experiences in the form of a one hour documentary.

In particular they are looking for families who already have children and could give an added insight into family life and what it is like growing up with gay/lesbian parents.

The programme would be an overarching look at modern families, however they would need to follow a family event taking place over the next 12 months.

This could be anything from trying for/adopting another baby to a christening, a marriage, starting a business, an extended family holiday, prom, etc.

To read more go to http://bit.ly/jP3jHx

First lesbian in Britain to conceive by artificial insemination talks about her pionerring family

Janis Hetherington was the first lesbian in Britain to conceive by artificial insemination. On the 40th anniversary of her son's conception, she talks about her pioneering family, sudden death and tabloid fury.
In a sleepy Oxfordshire village 40 years ago, Janis Hetherington and her partner Judy sat in their local pub with their farming neighbours and toasted the extraordinary thing they had just done. Earlier that day the couple had driven to a clinic in London. There, a doctor inseminated her with a syringe and told her to hold her feet up for while, before they sped back to Bicester for last orders.

Janis was the first lesbian in Britain to have a child by artificial insemination. The momentous event that four decades on continues to raise eyebrows, passed at the time without fanfare and headlines. "We had no reason to come forward," Janis says. Their GP was delighted and insisted she was treated like any other expectant mother and, in January 1972, aged 26, Janis gave birth to her son, Nick, with Judy at her side. The only sign of what might be to come was when the hospital matron put her in a side ward, saying the sight of two women having a child would upset other patients.

Those prejudices towards same-sex parents exploded on to the front pages in October 1977, after two tabloid reporters, posing as lesbians who wanted to conceive, "exposed" a clinic that offered female couples insemination. Several Tory MPs responded by calling for the practice to be banned, claiming children needed "normal" parents.

Janis decided to step into the limelight and take a stand. By then, the Hetheringtons were living a settled life in north London and the unusual circumstances of Nick's conception were known and accepted within their community. She rebuffed the critics, pointing out that her son was "perfectly normal, and very intelligent". For days, reporters camped outside their door. Nick and Janis then appeared in a BBC documentary followed by a US film by NBC.

The clouds of that media storm have circled the family, on and off, ever since. Janis is 65 now and looks the arch English eccentric as she sits on a sofa in the 18th-century house in Oxfordshire that she shares with her long-term partner. She says she was aware at the time of how momentous Nick's conception was. "Yes, I knew the responsibility I had – as his mother – and also if I blew it, I'd blow it for everyone else. Other women – gay friends – had said, 'Gosh, we didn't know that was possible. Perhaps we should think about it.'"

To read more go to http://bit.ly/ipelxo

First lesbian in Britain to conceive by artificial insemination talks about her pionerring family

Janis Hetherington was the first lesbian in Britain to conceive by artificial insemination. On the 40th anniversary of her son's conception, she talks about her pioneering family, sudden death and tabloid fury.
In a sleepy Oxfordshire village 40 years ago, Janis Hetherington and her partner Judy sat in their local pub with their farming neighbours and toasted the extraordinary thing they had just done. Earlier that day the couple had driven to a clinic in London. There, a doctor inseminated her with a syringe and told her to hold her feet up for while, before they sped back to Bicester for last orders.

Janis was the first lesbian in Britain to have a child by artificial insemination. The momentous event that four decades on continues to raise eyebrows, passed at the time without fanfare and headlines. "We had no reason to come forward," Janis says. Their GP was delighted and insisted she was treated like any other expectant mother and, in January 1972, aged 26, Janis gave birth to her son, Nick, with Judy at her side. The only sign of what might be to come was when the hospital matron put her in a side ward, saying the sight of two women having a child would upset other patients.

Those prejudices towards same-sex parents exploded on to the front pages in October 1977, after two tabloid reporters, posing as lesbians who wanted to conceive, "exposed" a clinic that offered female couples insemination. Several Tory MPs responded by calling for the practice to be banned, claiming children needed "normal" parents.

Janis decided to step into the limelight and take a stand. By then, the Hetheringtons were living a settled life in north London and the unusual circumstances of Nick's conception were known and accepted within their community. She rebuffed the critics, pointing out that her son was "perfectly normal, and very intelligent". For days, reporters camped outside their door. Nick and Janis then appeared in a BBC documentary followed by a US film by NBC.

The clouds of that media storm have circled the family, on and off, ever since. Janis is 65 now and looks the arch English eccentric as she sits on a sofa in the 18th-century house in Oxfordshire that she shares with her long-term partner. She says she was aware at the time of how momentous Nick's conception was. "Yes, I knew the responsibility I had – as his mother – and also if I blew it, I'd blow it for everyone else. Other women – gay friends – had said, 'Gosh, we didn't know that was possible. Perhaps we should think about it.'"

It was when Janis met Judy, aged 24, that she began to seriously want a child. Aware she was a lesbian since the age of four, she gallivanted through a sexually adventurous youth, but when she met Judy she was looking for a relationship and was surprised to find herself falling for a woman who was not only married but the mother of a five-year-old daughter, Lisa. Within a week, they decided to settle down. Judy had separated from her husband several years earlier. "It was because of Lisa – being a mother to her, more than anything, reminded me that I could have a child and I didn't have to have a man," she says.

To read more go to

Pink Parenting Magazine to launch for the gay and lesbian community

Welcome to Europe’s first Premier Same Sex Parenting Magazine for the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender) community.
In these modern times more gay people are becoming parents than ever before as many in the LGBT community seek to fulfil their dreams of having a family especially with so many countries around the globe now making same sex marriage available. Pink Parenting is here to do just that. Bringing you everything you need to start a family from surrogacy options, adoption and the legal aspects of being a modern family to what’s the best stroller out there on the market.

A SNEAK PEAK INTO THE AUDIENCE: While we are feverishly working on getting the statistics for the UK & Europe, our research has shown that:
According to the 2000 Census - SAME-SEX COUPLES IN THE UNITED STATES
• Census 2000 identified same-sex couples in every state and virtually every county in the United States.
• Individuals living in same-sex couples not only live throughout the country, but share all of the other attributes of the U.S.'s population.
• Individuals in same-sex couples contribute to the economy: 71% of them are employed compared with 65% of individuals in married couples.
• 65% of SS couples one partner is a homeowner. By comparison, one or both partners are homeowners in 43% of different-sex unmarried couples.
• More than 39% of same-sex couples in the United States aged 22-55 are raising children.


Unlike many other gay magazines, our demographic is LGBT couples between the age of 30 to 45 that are more interested in modern day life and having a family and growing out of the gay club scene. We are also working with many LGBT organizations to promote and distribute the magazine. The magazine is also available through the www.Pink-Parenting.com website and will soon be available via www.prideangel.com

To Read more go to

Lesbian mums in dispute: fertility law, child maintenance and what makes a parent

A lesbian couple who had conceived a child together through donor insemination at a UK clinic recently ended up in the High Court after their relationship broke down. Their dispute involved a ten-year-old child, and the issue was whether the non-birth mother (who the court had already given legal decision-making status as a parent) should be ordered to make financial provision for her child.
The story itself of course isn't that unusual - parents separate and divorce all the time and many end up in court arguing over contact or finances. What makes this case interesting is the family was created through fertility treatment and the partner pursued for maintenance was not the biological mother.

The court had to ask whether the lesbian non-birth mother was legally a 'parent' and - specifically - whether her full hands-on parenting involvement in her child's life was enough to make her financially responsible, even though she was not the biological mother.

The answer seems pretty straightforward from a moral perspective. The non-birth mother had been fully involved in her child's care and upbringing, had regular contact with her child, and had successfully (and not long before) applied to court for joint residence and parental responsibility. The law recognised her as a parent for the purposes of decision making and there was no legal father since the child was conceived with anonymous donor sperm.

The child would have only one parent (the birth mother) and considerably less financial security if the non-birth mother was not financially responsible. As the birth mother's lawyers argued in court, it would be 'grotesque' for the court to decide the non-birth mother should not have to maintain a child she had helped bring into the world and was actively parenting.

The law is not always fair. The rules on financial responsibility say explicitly only a legal 'parent' can be ordered to pay. These rules are more black and white than those on matters of contact and parental decision-making, where the family courts often have discretion to act in the best interests of a child.

To read more go to http://bit.ly/dBcOte

Becoming a parent for the gay community 'The Alternative Families Show'

The first ever event aiming to demystify the process of becoming a parent for the gay community and single people, ‘The Alternative Families Show’ was held yesterday, Saturday 23rd October 2010, within the Grand Connaught rooms, London. The show was organised by Littlepink, social network and Square Peg Media, in partnership with Stonewall, the gay, lesbian and bisexual charity. Square Peg Media is the publisher of G3 magazine, Out in the City magazine and Proud magazine.
The organisers said ‘We are really pleased with the response we have had, with over a thousand people attending. It has been a huge success and is something we will definitely be continuing to run next year’

The event brought expert advisors together from fertility clinics, adoption and fostering agencies to co-parenting websites to include Pride Angel which is now the leading connection service for gay, lesbian, single and infertile couples wishing to find known sperm donors and co-parents.

Pride Angel said ‘It was fantastic to hear all the positive comments about our service. Many lesbian women really liked the idea of having a ‘dad’ involved in their children’s lives. Many gay couples who had previously believed that surrogacy or adoption was the only method of starting a family, where extremely interested in potential co-parenting arrangements‘.

The show also ran several seminars throughout the day giving advice about fostering and adoption, using a known sperm donor, the legal side of co-parenting, using nutrition to boost fertility and help prevent miscarriage, surrogacy – the law and choosing surrogacy abroad. Stonewall presented a seminar regarding children from different families, about gay families and schools. Lastly but not least, Littlepink, a network for same sex parents and children spoke about the importance of support networks and the value behind a community.

For more information about parenting options for lesbian, gay, single and infertile couple visit www.prideangel.com

To read more go to http://bit.ly/9hJgYG

The Times are looking to speak with lesbian and gay co-parenting families

The Times Weekend section are doing a piece on the Alternative Families Show, taking place Saturday 23rd October 2010 - 10am to 5pm GRAND CONNAUGHT ROOMS, COVENT GARDEN, LONDON
The Times are looking for a compelling case study to lead the piece, of people who have successfully started a family through co-parenting.

Would any of our members be interested in a photo shoot and an interview with them, talking about your experience of finding someone to start a family with, who you are not in a relationship with?

Any interested members would need to be photographed, but this could be done in an anonymous way if necessary. If both co-parents are willing to speak that would also be fantastic. The Times are interested in Lesbian couples who have used a known sperm donor or gay and lesbian singles or couples who have made co-parenting arrangements.

The piece would be sensitive and non-sensationalist, highlighting the growing number of people who realise their dream of starting a family using alternative means.

The Times would like to speak with anyone interested, as soon as possible.
Please contact Pride Angel for further information contact us

Pride Angel will be exhibiting at the Alternative Families Show and we are happy to help answer any questions you may have regarding:

Choosing to use a known donor
Co-parenting arrangements
Health screening
Fertility law
Home insemination

We look forward to seeing you there. Pride Angel

To read more go to http://bit.ly/9GlgwM

Alternative Families Show 2010

Demystifying the Process of Becoming a Parent for the Gay Community and Single People

Saturday 23rd October 2010 from 10am to 5pm

GRAND CONNAUGHT ROOMS, COVENT GARDEN, LONDON

• Thinking of becoming a parent?
• Want to understand the options available to you?
• Are you considering IVF, adoption or surrogacy?
• Want to understand your rights as a parent?
• Need help deciding on known or anonymous donors?
• Want to find support networks for same-sex parents?

The alternative families show brings together all the information you need to make informed choices on parenthood. From conception, adoption, legal rights, to support networks the show will give you access to information from top UK advisors in their field. A one-stop shop for the lesbian and gay community, this is your opportunity to get some real facts surrounding same-sex parenting. For single people we present the options to becoming a parent.

Pride Angel will be attending the Alternative Families Show where they will be happy to answer any questions relating to donor conception and co-parenting.

Pride Angel is the leading worldwide connection site, fertility forum and blog for lesbian, gay, single and infertile couples, wishing to become parents through co-parenting and donor conception. Specialising in health screening advice, fertility law support, along with artificial insemination and fertility products available to purchase. Registration is free at www.prideangel.com

Tickets to the show cost £5 and can be purchased on the alternative families show website.

To read more go to http://bit.ly/dm2koV