A gay dad's Father's Day

Becoming a father once had this dreamy quality to it. I was seven years old when I first knew the names of my future kids: Sascha, Pascal and a third that got lost in the passage of time. There was also a wife in that picture somewhere. As a kid, the concept of marriage and sexuality was nothing to be concerned with. Later, when I realized that I was gay, fatherhood became an illusion, something I knew I’d never achieve. In the 1980s, finding a boyfriend was the height of gay aspirations. Living together was really a stretch goal. That all changed, when civil unions were introduced. All of a sudden, the prospect of family moved from the realm of illusion to the land of possibility. My husband Alex and I had been thinking about becoming parents since before we met. It was a prerequisite for any future partner of mine as I had a real wish to start a family. As Alex is 12 years my junior, he felt it important to first finish his studies and get his career going before we explored our parenting options. We started slowly, with two exchange students, before finally trying to become full-time parents. We first opted for foster care. We were evaluated, probed, prodded and finally approved as foster parents just before Christmas of 2011. Yet, due to the raging homophobia still permeating society, we were never awarded a child to foster. Desperately, we resorted to surrogacy and in March last year, our son Sascha was born. Since then, we’ve been asked countless times what it means to be gay parents. It’s a difficult question. Being a “gay” parent per se does not mean much to me or my husband or even Sascha. It seems to have more of an impact on the people around us as they witness two men raising happy and healthy children. I’ve come to believe that gays as parents may result in shifting attitudes toward the LGBT community as a whole. So much of homophobia is based on fear of the unknown. The more people see LGBT families, the less they will fear us or listen to hate speech from politicians and religious leaders. Gay parenting may one day reduce prejudice, make it easier for gays to come out and for gay teens to face bullies. Every now and then, there are people out there who will frown upon seeing us with our son. We recently had such an encounter. But more and more, they are becoming the exception rather than the rule. For me, Father’s Day isn’t about getting a tie from my son (heaven forbid, as I don’t wear them). The day is to celebrate Alex and me, and our united contribution in raising our son, Sascha. Just as my dad once joined my brother and me in celebrating mom, paying to take her out to lunch and helping us make dinner and breakfast in bed, so too will we do for our boy. Happy Father’s Day, gay dads. Article 12th June 2014 www.washingtonblade.com Gay? wanting to become a dad? register as a co-parent on www.prideangel.com

New surrogacy legislation in the UK came into force this week

The HFEA’s new Code of Practice, which comes into force this week, contains new guidance for UK fertility clinics dealing with surrogacy cases. The changes affect how clinics deal with the forms which allocate legal parenthood in surrogacy cases. Cases where the surrogate is married or in a civil partnership If the surrogate is married or in a civil partnership, she and her husband (or civil partner) will be the legal parents of the child. There may be some rare cases in which the surrogate’s spouse does not consent to the arrangement as a question of fact (for example if the couple are separated). However, in the vast majority of cases a surrogate’s spouse cannot simply opt out of becoming a legal parent by signing a withdrawal of consent form. The HFEA gives new guidance making this clear, and instructions to clinics about how the paperwork should be completed. Cases where the surrogate is not married If the surrogate is legally single (or if her spouse genuinely does not consent), there is new guidance on what clinics should do. The HFEA no longer says that in these circumstances the child has no second legal parent. Instead, the new rules provide that there are choices to be made as to who can be named on the child’s first birth certificate with the surrogate mother (something which brings the HFEA guidance into line with the approach of the family courts and register offices). In practice, there are three options and clinics will need to consider the alternatives carefully with patients before treatment proceeds: 1) Do nothing – the intended (biological) father will be the legal father and can be named on the birth certificate with the surrogate. No parenthood election forms need be signed. 2) Nominate the intended mother as the other parent. The clinic will need to ensure that the new the parenthood election forms for surrogacy (Forms SWP and SPP) are signed by both women before conception. This enables the two women to be named on the birth certificate together when the child is born. 3) Nominate a non-biological father as the father (e.g. the other dad in a gay couple or, probably more rarely, an intended father in a case where a couple is conceiving with the intended mother’s eggs and donor sperm). The clinic will need to ensure the parenthood election forms (SWP and SPP) are signed by the nominated non-biological father and the surrogate mother before conception. The non-biological dad can then be registered on the birth certificate with the surrogate. The parenthood election forms are critical documents which patients will need when they go and register their child’s birth, so it is important that licensed centres provide patients with a copy and keep a copy on file. They must be signed before artificial insemination or embryo transfer to be legally effective. Intended parents will still need to apply for a parental order after their child is born to secure their joint parentage and to extinguish their surrogate’s legal responsibilites. This will, in the long run, give the intended parents a birth certificate naming them both as the parents - the new HFEA rules only deal with the interim position before this process is complete. It is therefore also important that licensed centres are familiar with parental orders, or otherwise make sure their patients have legal advice. There is more information and FAQs from the HFEA here and more information about legal parenthood after surrogacy on our website. We have assisted the HFEA with its new guidance, and have worked with hundreds of families created through surrogacy. We can offer training to licensed centres, and advice and support to families with navigating these new rules. Gay? looking for an egg donor or co-parent? register for free at www.prideangel.com

http://blogs.prideangel.com/post/2013/09/A-case-for-cautious-commercial-surrogacy-in-Australia.aspx

In the last 30 years, we have seen 26 public inquiries into surrogacy in Australia. In recent years all states and territories have liberalised their laws to allow for unpaid surrogacy to occur with the assistance of licensed fertility providers, and to provide for intended parents to acquire legal status. But our system is still not working. In 2010-11 there were just 16 recorded surrogacy births within Australia, while 394 babies were born in India to Australian citizens – the majority of them almost certainly via commercial surrogacy. We need to make big changes to allow surrogacy to be more accessible at home, rather than exporting our fertility needs to other countries. The fundamental principles of fairness and safety require the informed and continuing consent of all participants in surrogacy, especially of the birth mother. When most surrogacy involving Australians is taking place offshore, it's plainly not accessible and also may not be safe, or not as safe as it would be onshore. Nor, where poorer countries are the providers, is it necessarily fair. Despite remarkably little regulation in the United States, surrogacy agencies and clinics have adopted a fairly common set of practices and standards, including psychological screening, counselling and support services. Research consistently shows that US surrogates are not impoverished or motivated by financial concerns, and are largely satisfied with their experience. In contrast, Australian women are expected to take surrogacy on as altruistic act and can only be paid a very limited amount for documented expenses. This drives people to evade the system, masking unlawful payments onshore, or going offshore to India and Thailand, resulting in reduced or zero access to professional support services and ethical safeguards. The more work I do on assisted reproduction, the more I see that professional support services are an important part of informed consent and the decision-making processes of parents. In the rare instance when things go do go wrong, such as in the Re Evelyn case in 1998, it usually involves informal arrangements in which none of the parties had any screening, counselling, or legal advice before the arrangement, nor any support services during or after it. Ideally, governments should provide screening, matching and counselling services, but if, as is currently the case, they don’t, it may be better to have commercial providers taking on this role rather than no one at all. A major argument against payment to surrogates is that it may act as undue influence that impairs informed consent. This is an important consideration. Surrogacy works when a woman voluntarily undertakes a pregnancy and is happy to relinquish a baby she does not regard as her own. If she has agreed only because of money and not because she regards that baby as someone else’s, everything falls apart. But in addition to guarding against payments that are too high, we should be asking whether surrogates are paid too little. Women who undertake pregnancies for others in surrogacy arrangements are performing labour (in both senses) and they are undertaking risks. Paying nothing does not protect or value this role. In Australia, altruistic surrogacy undertaken through licensed fertility services means that doctors, nurses, social workers, counsellors, scientists, technicians, storage facilities, receptionists, cleaners and delivery people are all paid. So are shareholders. Only the birth mother is not. There are a range of ways that surrogates could be paid within a regime of fair compensation that still guarded against improper inducement. In the UK the fertility regulator recently set a flat compensation payment of £750 ($1,100) per cycle for egg donors in recognition of the pain and risks they undertake. Payments of £15,000 are also regularly accepted by courts in the UK as reasonable compensation for surrogates, although there is no set guideline. Setting a clear minimum (representing a labour based contribution or compensation for risk and burden) would provide certainty if accompanied by proper screening protocols and regulation to guard against unfair inducement. There are important concerns about commercial surrogacy practices that go beyond the question of how much money is paid and go to who is paid for what. Problematic practices in surrogacy common in both developed and developing economies include high multiple birth rates (which are dangerous to babies and surrogate); enforceable contracts (which can prevent surrogates from having control over their pregnancy, and which compel relinquishment after birth), and the widespread use of anonymous egg donors. None of these are mandated by commercial markets, but they are strongly associated with them. An Australian system of compensated surrogacy could avoid such risks. We would continue to centre the informed and continuing consent of the birth mother through important safeguards such as ensuing that she has full control of pregnancy care and decisions, and that consensual relinquishment of the baby and her parental status occurs only after the birth. We already have very high clinical and ethical standards operating in tandem with government regulation to prevent multiple embryo transfer and to record donor identity. Commercial surrogacy could be contained within the existing successful framework of health regulation in Australia rather than distorting clinical and legal practice, as it has arguably done in other countries with far less regulation. This doesn’t mean copying commercial markets – it means learning from them. An Australian system which allowed for advertising, professional intermediaries and payment, if carefully regulated, would be safer and fairer than the now widespread practice of Australians travelling overseas for surrogacy. Article: 3rd September 2013 www.theguardian.com

Yotam Ottolenghi on becoming a gay dad through surrogacy

Hoorah for NGA client Yotam Ottolenghi and his wonderfully heartfelt piece in Saturday’s Guardian: 'Why I’m coming out as a gay father'. In a brave and personal editorial, the renowned TV chef and restarauter has spoken out about his long journey to fatherhood as a gay man, and how becoming a father has enabled him to reconcile himself to a new openness about his sexuality. He says: “At the end of a five-year process, I know we can’t be shy about telling our story, that privacy just isn’t an option. That’s because we could only have had Max, and hopefully also a future sibling, thanks to other people who have shared their stories. Max has already brought us immense joy. He has also forced our second coming out, this time as gay parents.” We salute his bravery in coming out to the world about such incredibly personal issues. We have been privileged to share his journey (as his legal advisors), which has taken him through the option of co-parenting to international surrogacy and the birth of his son Max earlier this year. We know it takes brave men like Yotam willing to talk about their experience to inspire others that it can be done, and to enable them to feel comfortable about their choices. The good news, from a legal perspective, is that the options for gay men to become fathers have never been better than they are now. Since 2010, gay men who conceive with a surrogate mother have been able to apply to the family court for a parental order. This ultimately gives them a UK birth certificate naming them both as parents. It is a legal solution for gay dads who conceive through surrogacy in the UK and abroad, and it fully resolves all the UK legal issues. Surrogacy in the UK is often more achievable than people realise, but many gay dads, like Yotam, are also going to the US where a more professional and managed surrogacy service is available. There has developed a significant track record over the past five years of the UK High Court authorising such arrangements (even though they involve commercial surrogacy arrangements), case law which we have been proud to have helped shape. Since 2005, gay men have been able to adopt as couples, with just the same rights as heterosexual couples. They have full and equal parental status and an adoption certificate to confirm it. And there is the option of co-parenting. Here the law is more complex, and in particular gay couples who donate sperm to lesbian couples may have no legal status as parents if the birth mother is in a civil partnership. But these arrangements work too, and there are legal solutions available. The climate has never been better for gay dads to start a family than it is now, and we hope that other gay men will draw courage from Yotam’s story.

Gay couple from Israel start YouTube plea to help create family

A gay couple in Israel have started a campaign, asking for help to start a family after spending their entire savings on several failed surrogacy and adoption attempts, as Israel forbids surrogacy for gay couples. The gay mobile app Grindr has pledged a weeks worth of revenue towards the couple’s campaign, through its charitable arm Grindr for Equality. The couple are now seeking to find a surrogate in the US. As well as donating revenue to Grindr for Equality, the app will also feature an advert which will encourages others to donate money towards the efforts of couple Yuval and Liran. The couple posted the YouTube video asking for help after several failed attempts at surrogacy abroad, and after being declined for adoption through several channels. In the video they say they feel “castrated” by the law in Israel which does not allow surrogacy for gay couples, and tell their story about spending their entire savings, over $120,000 (£78,000) on the attempts. Their campaign asks supporters to post photographs of themselves with the message: “We want them to have a baby too”. Joan Rivers is among those who have already shown support for the campaign. Grindr will donate a week’s worth of revenue made from the sale of its paid version Grindr Xtra, towards the campaign. Joel Simkhai, CEO and founder of Grindr said: “I read about Yuval and Liran’s emotional personal story and was impressed by their creativity in pursuing their dream of fatherhood, and their persistence, recruiting international celebrities such as Joan Rivers, to help raise awareness that in so many parts of the world the joy of parenthood and other aspects of family are still not available to gays who are not equals in the eye of the law. Yuval and Liran are now pursuing surrogacy in America, aided by the LGBT Jewish organisation A Wider Bridge Article: 10th April 2013 www.pinknews.co.uk Read more about gay parenting at www.prideangel.com

Bobby talks about wanting to become a dad at Building Families Show

TOWIE Celebrity, Bobby Cole Norris who is openly gay, staring in Reality show ‘The only way is Essex’, spoke about his desire to become a dad at yesterday’s Building Families Show, The Hilton, London. Bobby has confessed: "I've been doing a little bit of thinking and pondering and realised that I want to start a family. "I've always wanted to be a dad and I've realised now that it is an option and there is a way around it." Bobby adds: "I'm never going to find a wife, but I can find a surrogate, so I'm just looking for the right egg donor at the moment. "I'm gonna take the right person with me and go and have a good chat at the clinic." Chantelle Houghton from TOWIE recently bit back at Bobby’s comment that he wanted a ‘gaybe’ as he calls it, saying "I'm not against gay men being fathers, but it sounds to me that he wants a new accessory rather than a baby that needs love and attention 24/7." Bobby didn't take too kindly to those comments, and took to Twitter to hit back at mum-of-one Chantelle. He tweeted: "Hugely disappointed with @chantellehought comments in @new_magazine this week #judgemental." Bobby also wrote: "I do not "want a new accessory", there is a major difference between wanting to be a parent and wanting a new bag #ridiculous." The Building Families Show brought together the world’s leading IVF & Surrogacy specialists, including the leading parenting connection website Pride Angel which has over 21,000 members including egg donors, sperm donor and co-parents from around the world. Erika co-founder of Pride Angel, and daughter Emily who is a huge fan of Bobby was delighted to be photographed with the TOWIE star. Article: 7th April 2013 Pride Angel

And baby makes three' at the Building Families Show

So the two of you are more than happy, but do you want more? Have you ever considered you might be ready for a baby? More and more same sex partners are taking the steps to provide a secure and loving family. Society’s attitude towards gay parenting has changed too. Nowadays, an increasing number of gay people are seriously considering parenthood as a viable option. Attitudes have changed because people are experiencing problems conceiving a child for a variety of reasons, with one in six couples now seeking help in trying for a child. With figures like this, many people are heading down to the Building Families Show, at the Hilton, London Metropole on 6th April 2013. Infertility, for any reason, can take you to a lonely and desperate place. But it also expresses inner strength you didn’t know you had. Building Families brings together the world’s leading IVF & Surrogacy specialists and showcases the most diverse range of innovative methods and technologies to make surrogacy and sperm or egg donation work for you. The unique event will bring the professionals and the general public together under one roof to discuss options for the next chapter in your journey and advise you on how to start, or help your family grow – through the help of IVF, surrogacy or egg donation. Building Families presents a perfect opportunity to boost and update your knowledge of the world of Surrogacy and Gamete Donation and to meet new friends. As a potential or intended parent you will get support from other people going through IVF, surrogacy or gamete donation, and the experts will talk you through your options as an individual. It is a fantastic opportunity to hear what the process of becoming a parent would be like for you, by discussing your future with exhibitors, including: British Surrogacy Centre; Simply Fertility and California Fertility Partners – who together, have over 30 years’ of experience. Plus, there will be seminars all day, which will be held by world class experts who will discuss the options for your journey, or explain their own steps into parenthood. Speakers will include Anne-Marie Hutchinson, OBE, Tony Drewitt-Barlow, on his personal surrogacy journey and a designated question time with experts from The California Fertility Partnership, Dawson Cornwell and Andrea Bryman. Entry is free if you pre-register and you will be surrounded by people waiting to work for you – to give you what you need and tohelp create the family you have always dreamed of. Everything you always thought you couldn’t have, you now can, and leading experts are waiting to help. So what are you waiting for? Go down, and make the most of the day and start on the exciting journey of becoming a parent. After all good things come in threes Article: 15th March 2013

India bans surrogacy for gay couples and single people

India faces criticism after officials issued new rules barring foreign gay couples and single people from using surrogate mothers to become parents. Commercial surrogacy is a booming industry in India, and in recent years the ranks of childless foreign couples looking for a low-cost, legally simple route to parenthood have been joined by gay couples and singles. The measures mark the first step to the regulation of "surrogacy tourism" in India. The rules say foreign couples seeking to enter into a surrogacy arrangement in India must be a "man and woman (who) are duly married and the marriage should be sustained at least two years". The rule changes, posted on the Indian home ministry's website, were denounced by fertility clinics and gay rights activists as "discriminatory". "Parenting is everybody's right and now we're withdrawing that right," said Dr Rita Bakshi, who heads the International Fertility Centre in New Delhi. "These rules are definitely not welcome, definitely restrictive and very discriminatory," she told AFP. "This is a huge heartbreak for homosexual couples and singles," commented fertility doctor Anoop Gupta. Gay rights campaigners also denounced the changes to the rules on surrogacy, which was legalised in 2002. "It's totally unfair - not only for gay people but for people who are not married who may have been living together for years, and for singles," Mumbai gay rights advocate Nitin Karani told AFP. India is a popular destination for gay couples seeking children even though it remains a largely conservative country and only decriminalised consensual sex between homosexuals in 2011. The home ministry would not comment on the changes which stipulate that would-be parents provide proof that their home country will give citizenship to any baby born of a surrogate mother. There have been several publicised cases of babies born through cross-border surrogacy in recent years who have been trapped in citizenship limbo because their parents' countries refused them passports. Surrogacy is banned in some European countries and is subject to strict regulation in the United States. The new India rules, which also state applicants must apply for a medical instead of a tourist visa, come as legislation to regulate the industry has yet to be passed by parliament. The bill says only women aged between 21 and 35 can act as surrogates but sets no minimum payment for the mother. Critics have said a lack of legislation governing surrogacy encourages "rent-a-womb" exploitation of young, poor Indian women. While the government has been pushing the country as a medical tourism destination, the issue of wealthy foreigners paying poor Indians to have babies has raised ethical concerns in many Indian minds. Clinic owners deny ill-treatment of mothers, saying it is in their interest to treat the women well in order for them to have healthy babies, The cost of surrogacy is about $18,000 to $30,000 in India, said Bakshi, of which around $8,000 goes to the surrogate mother. The figure is roughly a third of the US price. Hari Ramasubramanian, founding partner of Indian Surrogacy Law, said the new measures were introduced without "proper consultation" and needed to be challenged in the courts. "A lot of people who will be affected had seen India as a wonderful option for getting into parenthood and now this option is closed. It's quite sad," he said. Article: January 2013 www.telegraph.co.uk

India surrogacy - New law cuts off Australian parents

Changes to commercial surrogacy arrangements in India, introduced just before Christmas, have cut off one of the more popular avenues for Australians wanting to become surrogate parents. While heading overseas for commercial surrogacy is illegal in Queensland, New South Wales and the ACT, hundreds of Australians still flew to India every year to become parents. But now the Indian government has issued a directive that only couples who have been married for more than two years can enter into commercial surrogacy arrangements, and only if it is legal in their home country. Queensland lawyer Stephen Page - a surrogacy specialist who has represented many Australian surrogate parents - says the policy changes in India have already had a huge impact. "Essentially, if you want to go to India in future for surrogacy, you've got to be married for a minimum of two years - gay marriage is excluded - and surrogacy must be legal back home," he said. "The only place where commercial surrogacy can occur in Australia is the Northern Territory. "So unless you're in a heterosexual, married relationship for two years and you're living in the Northern Territory, you can forget about going to India." Mr Page says the majority of people who went to India before the law was changed were not married. "They were either living in a de facto relationship or they're in a same-sex relationship or they were singles," he said. "I believe instead of about 200 children a year being born to Australian-intended parents a year, it will be down to five or 10." He says the rule change will not stop Australians entering into commercial surrogacy arrangements overseas. They will simply look elsewhere. "The strange thing is, it's outlawed at the state level, but at the federal level it's not," he said. "At the federal level, you can go overseas and all that you need to establish is that the child is yours and then the child is entitled to Australian citizenship." Article: 16th January 2013 www.abc.net.au

Maternity leave to be granted for parents through Surrogacy

We are pleased to say that the government announced yesterday that they would be introducing adoption leave (equivalent to maternity leave) rights for parents through surrogacy. After campaigning for more than five years, Natalie Gamble Associates are thrilled ‘Some days I feel very proud of what we do here, and today is one of those days’ Until now, parents whose biological child is carried by another woman have had no rights to time off work when their new baby arrives, unlike parents who give birth or who adopt a child. This has been grossly unfair, and resulted in parents through surrogacy having to quit their jobs or go back to work if their employer does not (or cannot) give leave on a discretionary basis. The new rights will be introduced as part of the government’s maternity leave and adoption leave reforms, expected to come into force in 2015. Although the full detail has yet to be confirmed, we know that parents through surrogacy will be entitled to two antenatal appointments during the pregnancy, and adoption leave after the birth. This will be available to all couples eligible to apply for a parental order, including heterosexual parents and gay dads. Surrogate mothers will also retain their right to maternity leave to recover from giving birth. More information is available in the government’s response to the consultation on modern workplaces which says: We propose that intended parents in surrogacy cases who satisfy the criteria for a Parental Order and intend to apply, or have applied, to a court for a Parental Order will be entitled to leave and pay on the same basis as adopters who are eligible for statutory adoption leave and pay, subject to the qualifying conditions and evidential requirements. In addition, both intended parents will be entitled to take unpaid time off to attend two antenatal appointments with the surrogate mother carrying their child. What is so exciting about the change, as well as the practical legal rights it will introduce for new parents, is that this is the very first time in UK legal history that parents through surrogacy have been recognised as having any rights in advance of the birth of their child. This is a very significant recognition that surrogacy is real and here to stay, and hopefully a first step towards wider reform of our surrogacy laws. Read more information about surrogacy law and more about Natalie Gamble Associates' campaigning work. Article: 15th November 2012 www.nataliegambleassociates.co.uk

Single man becomes a Dad through Surrogacy in UK

Yesterday's ITV Daybreak featured Kyle Casson, a single dad who Natalie Gamble Associates are proud to be working with on his journey to become the first single parent through surrogacy in the UK. Well done to Kyle for speaking out so bravely, and for being such a great a champion for solo dads. Kyle spoke characterically warmly about his plans to be a father. He has always wanted children, and wants to do it in his twenties (with active grandparents) rather than waiting for a partner who may not come along. He has planned things carefully, is financially secure, has the enthusiastic support of his family, and has a surrogate who wants to help him. You can see Kyle talking about his story on ITV Daybreak here. So what does the law say? The law in the UK has never made it illegal to enter into a surrogacy arrangement as a single father. But it doesn’t make it easy either. Most parents through surrogacy (including gay dads and unmarried couples) can apply for a ‘parental order’ after their child is born. This is an order made by the family court which gives the intended parents a new birth certificate and extinguishes the responsibilities of the surrogate mother. Single parents are not, however, eligible to apply. This means it is perfectly legal for Kyle to have a child through surrogacy in the UK, but the normal solution for families created through surrogacy (designed to give lifelong security and certainty for the child) is not available. He will have to get creative with using law designed for other purposes to secure his family and resolve the position of his surrogate – adoption being the best alternative to a parental order if the family court will agree to help. Natalie Gamble Associates (NGA) call to action On behalf of Kyle and the increasing numbers of solo prospective dads NGA are advising (some going abroad for surrogacy, others entering into co-parenting arrangements. NGA call for parental orders to be made available to solo parents. The law has already been extended, in 2008, to allow gay dads and unmarried couples to apply, and it is now time to allow single parents to apply too. This would bring the law into line with adoption law, which allows single parents to become adopters, and with reproductive law for women which was specifically amended in 2008 to allow solo mums to conceive through donor insemination. NGA frequently see heartbreaking cases caused by the denial of surrogacy to single parents. A change to the law would benefit not only prospective solo dads like Kyle, but also single women who have survived cancer and need the help of a surrogate to carry their child, and widowed fathers who want to use embryos in storage, just as widowed mothers are able to do. And what do we say to people (like the lady on Daybreak with Kyle this morning) who say that such solo parents who want to have children are selfish? Well, wanting to be a parent is something most human beings experience, so it comes down to whether children suffer harm if raised without a mother and a father. This is an old question for non-traditional families, and the answer (backed by long research, including by the Centre for Family Research at Cambridge University) is that children in deliberately created non-traditional families (including solo parent families) have good outcomes, and are in a very different position from children whose parents have separated. It is the quality of the relationships which matters, and not the gender or number of the parents. Article source: 5th November 2012 www.nataliegambleassociates.co.uk

Judge awards parenthood to gay dads after indian surrogate 'disappears'

The Telegraph and Daily Mail have today reported the international surrogacy case of D and L (2012). The case marks a legal first: the court agreeing to make a parental order after the surrogate mother could not be found to give her consent. We are proud to have worked with the parents on this case to win legal security for their family. A UK same sex couple had twin boys through an Indian surrogacy arrangement. They had taken legal advice at the outset and knew they would need their surrogate’s consent, after the birth, to become the legal parents under UK law. They became concerned during the pregnancy that their clinic might not be as helpful as they had thought, so we wrote to the clinic explaining what was needed, and the clinic confirmed they would help. However, after the birth, the clinic refused to secure the surrogate’s notarised consent. As a final insult, our clients were sent a couriered package which they thought finally contained the consent document they desperately needed – instead it contained a single sheet of paper with a sketch of an obscene gesture. They then tried to track their surrogate down themselves, but the address they had been given for the surrogate was a false one and they could not find her. They applied to the UK court for a parental order and asked the judge to help. Focusing on the need to give the boys legal security with their parents throughout their lifetime (and our clients’ extensive efforts to obtain the required consents), Mr Justice Baker in the High Court made them their sons’ legal parents.

Elton John and David Furnish want a brother or sister for baby Zachary

Since his son’s birth 18 months ago, Sir Elton John has been the epitome of the proud father. But the flamboyant star, now enjoying life as the parent of a toddler, has admitted it will be ‘heartbreaking’ for Zachary to grow up without a mother. The singer, 65, and his civil partner David Furnish, were delighted when Zachary arrived on Christmas Day 2010. Zachary Jackson Levon Furnish-John – to give him his full name – was born via surrogate in California and was conceived using a donor egg. Sir Elton and Mr Furnish, 49, have made it no secret that they want to have another child, and may start trying to father a sibling for Zachary this summer. However, in an interview, Sir Elton confessed: ‘It’s going to be heartbreaking for him to grow up and realise he hasn’t got a mummy. But he’s so happy. I’ve never seen a more contented child. ‘And you have never seen two more contented people as David and I.’ Talking about boosting their family, the singer said: ‘I’d love to have more children. ‘I want Zachary to have a brother or a sister to go to school with him, and so that he can have someone to play with.’ Speaking earlier this year, Mr Furnish, a former advertising executive turned filmmaker, said: ‘I would like Zachary to have a sibling.’ Mr Furnish was by Sir Elton’s side as they showed off Zachary at their annual Oscars party in February, when the little boy wore his own monogrammed Yves Saint Laurent jacket and was surrounded by stars. Mr Furnish admitted: ‘I think he would be better with a sibling than on his own. It’s something we talk about all the time. But in terms of when, where and how, nothing’s decided yet. ‘I think we are going to wait till this summer. Our life is always like a treadmill, with Elton constantly working and touring. ‘But when we go away to our house in France, that’s when we sit back and go OK, how is this working, how are you feeling?’ The logistics had clearly been discussed, as Mr Furnish added: ‘We could go back to the same egg donor, so biologically there would certainly be a connection between brother and brother or brother and sister.’ And he confirmed that he and Sir Elton would probably again both donate sperm to fertilise the egg, ‘so we don’t know which one of us is the father’. But the couple may have to seek another surrogate, Mr Furnish said. The unnamed woman who gave birth to Zachary ‘has been a surrogate before but has a life of her own and her own family,’ he added. ‘It’s a big commitment to make – nine months of their life that doesn’t just affect them but their children, their husband, their partner. ‘If we found a surrogate who is half as beautiful as our first, we would be very lucky.’ Meanwhile, Sir Elton admitted during his interview with Matt Lauer on the NBC Today show that he ‘wasted’ much of his life on drugs. The singer also admitted that he felt like the ‘luckiest man in the world’ to survive his drug addiction at a time when people were dying of AIDS. He said: ‘I wasted such a big part of my life, when this epidemic was beginning to happen in the early 1980s. ‘I was a drug addict and self-absorbed. I was having people die right, left, and centre around me, friends. And yet I didn’t stop. I was consumed by cocaine, booze and who knows what else.’ He added: ‘When you take a drug and you take a drink and you mix those two together, you think you’re invincible. I came out of this HIV-negative. I was the luckiest man in the world.’ The interview also discussed when Sir Elton came out as gay, and he recalled a period when ‘people burned my records and radio stations didn’t play me’. Article: 15th July 2012 www.dailymail.co.uk Pride Angel endorses using known egg donors in order for the donor-conceived to be able to know of their 'mother' from an early age. Often this relationship is often purely an understanding of their origins, but can make a big difference to the well-being of the children. To find out more about known egg donors click here.

Surrogacy in India - what's the law for parents from the UK?

Following prominent Indian surrogacy stories in the Telegraph and Evening Standard, Natalie was interviewed on BBC Radio this afternoon to explain the law. In the absence of regulation, a commercial surrogacy industry in India has boomed over the last few years, with many Indian fertility clinics now offering surrogacy packages to foreign intended parents at a cost of around £20,000. Indian law allows intended parents to enter into a binding contract with a surrogate mother, and Indian officials register the intended parents on the Indian birth certificate. But the law is not as simple as it seems if you are a British parent. For UK legal purposes, the parents of a child born through surrogacy are the surrogate mother and, if she is married, her husband. Regardless of what the Indian birth certificate says, you will not be recognised as parents and this means that your child may well be born ’stateless’ without any right to a passport anywhere in the world. You will also have no status as the parents of your child when you come back to the UK. There are solutions – a discretionary application to the British High Commission to give a British passport, and an application to the family court for a parental order which ultimately gives a British birth certificate. However, it is important to be well prepared, and to be very careful about the ethics and safety of what you are doing, given the lack of regulation in India. Despite the sudden media coverage, none of these issues are new. In a landmark case Re X and Y in 2008, the High Court warned of the dangers of international surrogacy after twins born through a Ukrainian surrogacy arrangement were born ‘marooned stateless and parentless’ by the conflict between UK and Ukrainian law. This was the very first UK case to ratify a foreign surrogacy arrangement, and it has been followed by many others over the past four years. Exactly the same issues apply in Indian surrogacy cases, of which we have dealt with many. No parental orders have yet been refused, although the court does look at every situation carefully to ensure there is no exploitation and to protect the welfare of the child. You can find out more from our website about international surrogacy law

Sir Elton John and David Furnish fear their son will face 'stigma' growing up

Sir Elton John and David Furnish talked about their first year of parenthood, the pair spoke of their pride and joy at becoming parents to Zachary, who was born via a surrogate in America on Christmas Day, 2010.
The couple, who met in the early 1990s, said they had enjoyed a “brilliant” year with their 13 month-old son, whose full name is Zachary Jackson Levon Furnish-John.
But they admitted he faced “challenges” and potential “double” stigma as he grew up and have consulted counsellors to find out the best way of dealing with any potential problems.
As a result they have created a scrapbook to give to him when he is older in order to explain his “creation” and birth from his unidentified surrogate mother.

“We're going to have challenges, of course we are,” Sir Elton said in a magazine interview. “But we talked about that before we had him.”
Mr Furnish, a Canadian-born film-maker, added: “I think he's going to have a lot of attention thrust upon him.


“He's going to be potentially doubly stigmatised, because one of his parents is extremely famous and because he comes from two dads.
“We've taken advice from counsellors. We've put a whole scrapbook together about his creation, the people who were involved in the process and how the intent was about love.”
Mr Furnish, a former advertising executive, added: “We're going to raise him to be proud of who he is.”


Sir Elton, 64, and Mr Furnish, 49, made the comments in an interview with the British Attitude magazine, Europe’s popular publication for gay men. The pair, who had a civil partnership in December 2005, reportedly spend the majority of their time at their mansion in Windsor, Berks. They tried to adopt an AIDS-infected orphan in Ukraine in 2009, but were thwarted by government regulations.

Sir Elton, who is due to perform at the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee concert in the summer, said the couple had experienced the “most incredible year” with their son as they introduced him to family and friends and took him on holidays.
“I can't tell you how brilliant this year has been and how much love he's brought us and how much we're getting,” Sir Elton said.
“We thought that the civil partnership brought us together, but having a child has been magnificent, and I never thought I would have a kid.
“I don't feel 65, which I will be next year. Now, having a kid there's so much more to do. There's so much more I want to see happen before I die.”


Their son’s middle name “Levon” is thought to be a reference to John’s 1971 song of the same name, whose lyrics were written by his long time collaborator Bernie Taupin and inspired by drummer and singer Levon Helm.
In the interview, reported in the Daily Mail, Sir Elton said he was proud of his sexuality and that he had no problems performing in front of people that found it hard to accept.
Despite being “the world's most acceptable” gay man, he insisted he would not be fearful of performing in countries such as Iran, which had known homophobic cultures. He added: “I'm like the Queen Mother of homosexuality, basically.”


Article: 10th February 2012 www.telegraph.co.uk

UK High Court Judge endorses International Surrogacy

Sir Nicholas Wall, the President of the High Court Family Division, has made public his decision to give parenthood to the British parents of twins born through surrogacy in India. The President said the issues were of “considerable public importance” and he wished to endorse the previous judgments of Mr Justice Hedley in other similar cases.

The decision, from one of the UK’s most senior family judges, represents a bolstering of the UK court’s position on international surrogacy: that although commercially organised surrogacy is not yet permitted in the UK, British parents can be awarded parenthood if they go abroad and pay a foreign surrogate mother more than her ‘reasonable expenses’. Sir Nicholas Wall made clear that the court’s paramount consideration is the child’s welfare, and that a birth certificate will be given as long as there has been no exploitation and the parents are not circumventing child protection laws in the UK.

In this particular case, two Indian surrogate mothers (carrying embryos created with the intended father’s sperm and eggs from the same anonymous donor) gave birth to a boy and a girl within a few days of each other, following a surrogacy arrangement commissioned by a British couple. A total of some £27,000 was paid to the Indian clinic. The court was ultimately satisfied that the parents were “entirely genuine and straightforward” and that “it is plainly in the interests of these two children that they should brought up by Mr and Mrs A as their parents”.

The case follows similar decisions by Mr Justice Hedley in the cases of Re X and Y (2008) in which British parents paid £23,000 to a Ukrainian surrogate mother, Re S (2009) involving a Californian surrogacy arrangement, Re L (2010) involving a surrogate mother based in Illinois and Re IJ (2011) involving a Ukrainian surrogacy.

Article: 13th December 2011 www.nataliegambleassociates.co.uk

Alternative Families Show - London 2011

SATURDAY 17TH SEPTEMBER 10 am - 5 pm

Demystifying the process of starting a family
GRAND CONNAUGHT ROOMS, COVENT GARDEN, LONDON


SEMINAR BOOKINGS NOW OPEN EACH SEMINAR BOOKED COSTS £3


• Thinking of becoming a parent?
• Want to understand the options available to you?
• Are you considering IVF, adoption or surrogacy?
• Want to understand your rights as a parent?
• Need help deciding on known or anonymous donors?
• Want to find support networks for same-sex parents?


A one-stop shop for anyone wanting to become a parent. The Alternative Families Show brings together all the information you need to make informed choices on parenthood. For the the lesbian and gay community, this is your opportunity to get some real facts surrounding same-sex parenting, co-parenting, surrogacy and much more.


Exhibitors 2011 include the following:

The lesbian, gay and bisexual charity. Stonewall played a key role in lobbying for important legislative changes for gay and lesbian parents.
www.stonewall.org.uk


Pride Angel is a leading worldwide connection site, fertility forum and blog for lesbian, gay, single and infertile couples, wishing to become parents through co-parenting and donor conception.
www.prideangel.com


British Association for Adoption and Fostering. Family finding, publications, training, conferences, consultancy, campaigning and advice.
www.baaf.org.uk


Over just the past 8 years, the BSC have matched over 35 couples and singles with surrogates, both traditional and gestational, and with egg donors, producing 45 babies! All of these couples have been matched with surrogates in the USA. Now with recent law changes in the UK and the positive encouragement from the UK community as a whole, we bring you The British Surrogacy Centre, dedicated to building families of the future and giving ordinary people the chance to have a family of their own.
www.britishsurrogacycentre.com

European Sperm Bank provides patients with donor choices. They select donors very carefully and use industry-leading donor screening procedures strictly in line with EU regulations.
www.europeanspermbank.com


L Group Families supports lesbians by providing specialist information and advice on the different services within the marketplace in order that they can make informed choices on the best treatment and options available to them and enjoy the prospect of parenthood. Our aims are:To provide support, information and advice to lesbians who are thinking about starting a family, (now or in the future); and to provide a support service to lesbian parents, carers and their children.
www.lgroupfamilies.org.uk


The North London Adoption Consortium (NLAC) is a partnership of five local authority adoption agencies (Barnet, Camden, Enfield, Haringey and Islington) and the voluntary agency Norwood. We all work together to provide the very best possible service for children waiting to be adopted and for those wanting to adopt. Working in partnership means we are able to offer a greater range of choice for children and adopters. By sharing information about waiting children and approved adopters, we are able to find new homes for children in a more efficient and timely manner.
www.adoptionnorthlondon.co.uk


Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority
Dedicated to licensing and monitoring UK fertility clinics and providing impartial and authoritative information to people considering or going through treatment or donating.
www.hfea.gov.uk


Kites Children’s Services has been established since 1995 to provide quality services for young people who present with sexual development problems which may lead to sexually harmful behaviour. Kites has a multidisciplinary team providing residential, fostering, education and aftercare placements all supported by therapeutic services and external consultants.
www.kitescs.com


New Family Social is the UK wide support network for LGBT adopters, foster carers and their children. We have over 450 families and families to be who share advice and encouragement online, and can find others near them in order to build their local support networks. Most importantly, our regular family events around the UK give our children the confidence of knowing other families like theirs.
www.newfamilysocial.co.uk


and many more exhibitors....

Seminars run throughout the day on subjects from conception, adoption, legal rights, & support networks. The show will give you access to information from top UK advisors in their field.

Seminars wil include talks by leading experts within their field such as:

Family ties and the law: Singles, gays and lesbians
by fertility and parenting lawyer: Natalie Gamble
www.nataliegambleassociates.com


Surrogacy and IVF for same sex couples and singles
by Dr Susan Treiser, IVF New Jersey and Barrie & Tony Drewitt-Barlow
www.britishsurrogacycentre.com

Can you trust your surrogacy lawyer?

Theresa Erickson, a high profile Californian attorney specialising in assisted reproduction law (self-styled online and in the media as ‘the surrogacy lawyer’) pleaded guilty last month to charges relating to her involvement in a baby selling scam. The case has sent shock waves through the US assisted reproduction law community, which is reeling at the disgrace of one of its best known members.
But although the story is shocking, I would hate to think that wider conclusions might be drawn about the way in which commercial surrogacy is practiced (legally) in many US states, or that US surrogacy lawyers in general should not be trusted. As well as being a story about the wrongs, this is a story of ethical boundaries being enforced, and a story of reputable US surrogacy attorneys who ensured that an unethical and illegal scheme was exposed and stopped.

How did the scheme work?
According to news reports and information posted online from those involved, Ms Erickson, working with another lawyer, Ms Neiman, and a third woman, Ms Chambers, recruited ‘surrogate mothers’ in the USA and arranged for them to travel to the Ukraine where embryos were transferred which had been created with donated eggs and sperm. The birth mothers were assured that this was perfectly legal and was ‘just another way of doing surrogacy’, and that there was a long list of intended parents waiting for their help.

Once the birth mothers were three months’ pregnant then – and only then – would the conspirators advertise for prospective intended parents. The couples who approached them were told, falsely, that intended parents had backed out of a planned surrogacy and that, for a substantial fee, they could step in. Ms Erickson then filed fraudulent papers with the Californian court to enable the parents to be named on the birth certificate. The scheme was said to have been carried out on at least twelve occasions.

What happened to expose the scam?
One of the birth mothers involved, suspecting something was amiss, approached another US assisted reproduction attorney for advice about whether this really was legitimate surrogacy practice. The attorney was concerned and contacted the chair of the American Bar Association’s Assisted Reproductive Technology Committee. He approached Ms Erickson to ask her about the scheme (she denied any involvement) and then, with the support of a colleague based in California where Ms Erickson was based, followed his professional duty to report dishonest or criminal conduct, and referred the case to the FBI. Following an investigation, Ms Erickson was charged and pleaded guilty. She is currently awaiting sentencing and faces up to five years in prison.
(I should add that the intended parents involved, all of whom were exonerated of any wrongdoing, have since been legally confirmed as the parents of the children they have, in effect, adopted).

Why was the scheme wrong?
This baby-making scam was so deeply and fundamentally wrong that it is difficult to know where to start. What shocks me the most, I suppose, was the flagrant disregard for all those involved – for the birth mothers who became pregnant on the basis of a lie (and the abuse of trust, relying on the reputation of a well-known lawyer, which that involved), for the intended parents whose desperation was exploited so greedily, and most of all for the preciousness of the lives of the children conceived, not within a loving family, but by design and for profit.

This was not, on anyone’s definition, really surrogacy. Under UK law, surrogacy involves artificial conception with the gametes of one or both of the intended parents (which quite obviously has to involve the intended parents from the outset). The rules are different in California, but surrogacy still has to involve an arrangement between specific individuals made before conception. Baby selling or adoption for profit is therefore probably a more accurate categorisation, although of course Ms Erickson was a well known surrogacy lawyer and so those involved were able to ‘sell’ the scam as surrogacy.

Interestingly, Ms Erickson was ultimately convicted, not of baby selling or any offences directly related to assisted reproduction, but of wire transfer fraud. Given the context, this has the resonance of Al Capone being convicted for tax evasion. However, I suppose it is appropriate that Ms Erickson has been held to account for deception (the scheme had, as I understand it, involved lies to the surrogates, the intended parents and even the Californian court). If the rules are anything like they are in the UK, whether or not she goes to prison, Ms Erickson will never be able to practice law again.

To read more go to http://bit.ly/ri0LQO

Gay fathers fear following India's surrogacy ban

Gay father Barrie Drewitt Barlow revealed how six gay couples are in a "huge panic" over India's recent ban of surrogacy to gay couples.

Mr Drewitt Barlow, who runs the British Surrogacy Centre with his partner Tony have said “embryos had been transferred to women acting as surrogate, but the men fear they will never see their children”.

The Essex father-of-five, whose children were conceived through US surrogate mothers, warned all Britons against using surrogacy in India. He claimed pimps in India are forcing prostitutes into surrogacy, and families sell their daughters into the service.

"We think ethically it's not the place to carry out surrogacy because women are being exploited," he said. "Most couples go there because it's a cheap option. We discovered the squalor some of these surrogate mothers were living in, it was disgraceful.”

"I've heard of two virgins, both 19, sold by their parents. These girls have recently given birth for two German couples. Both are now pregnant again.”

"I've had at least five emails today from clinics in Mumbai and Hyderabad wanting me to send them English couples who need surrogates. Remember, surrogacy in India is very big business."

To read more go to http://bit.ly/hdZjan

India to ban gay couples from surrogacy arrangements

India is to ban gay couples from using surrogate mothers. As part of reforms to the country’s surrogacy and fertility treatment laws, only heterosexual couples will be allowed to have children by surrogate.

The Assisted Reproductive Technologies (ART) Regulation Bill 2010 was sent to the law ministry for approval this week. There is apparently nothing in the bill to stop a single gay man from having a surrogate baby, as single men and women will be eligible.

Married and unmarried straight couples who live together will also be permitted to use surrogate mothers. However, women must be able to prove that they cannot have a baby naturally. According to the Evening Standard, a senior Indian official said: “We have to look after the interests of our own citizens as well as handle the tricky matter of the sensitivities of these couples who have not been able to have children in the normal way.

“But above all, we have acted to put some kind of hold on the whole surrogacy issue by banning homosexual couples from coming to India to enter into such deals. India is one of the top destinations for gay and straight couples seeking a surrogate child as it is far more cost-effective than other countries.

In the UK, single people cannot gain full legal rights over their children born by surrogate mother – a problem which affects gay single men in particular. Parental orders are used to extinguish the rights of a biological mother and her husband or partner. However, these can only be granted to couples.

India’s emergence as a surrogacy hotspot has prompted authorities to clamp down on unscrupulous practices, such as the persuading of impoverished women to rent out their wombs. This month, media attention focused on a Spanish gay couple who had twin girls born to a surrogate mother.

The Delhi Commission for Protection of Child Rights ordered the clinic involved to explain its procedures and suggested that the transaction had not been legal. Chariman of the commission Amod Kanth said: “As the Indian laws are yet to approve of a gay marital relationship, the commission shows its grave concern over the issue as to whether the gay foreigner couple have the legal status to assign such surrogacy or having the legal status of adopting parents or otherwise.”

To read more go to http://bit.ly/fqpQFH