A gay dad's Father's Day

Becoming a father once had this dreamy quality to it. I was seven years old when I first knew the names of my future kids: Sascha, Pascal and a third that got lost in the passage of time. There was also a wife in that picture somewhere. As a kid, the concept of marriage and sexuality was nothing to be concerned with. Later, when I realized that I was gay, fatherhood became an illusion, something I knew I’d never achieve. In the 1980s, finding a boyfriend was the height of gay aspirations. Living together was really a stretch goal. That all changed, when civil unions were introduced. All of a sudden, the prospect of family moved from the realm of illusion to the land of possibility. My husband Alex and I had been thinking about becoming parents since before we met. It was a prerequisite for any future partner of mine as I had a real wish to start a family. As Alex is 12 years my junior, he felt it important to first finish his studies and get his career going before we explored our parenting options. We started slowly, with two exchange students, before finally trying to become full-time parents. We first opted for foster care. We were evaluated, probed, prodded and finally approved as foster parents just before Christmas of 2011. Yet, due to the raging homophobia still permeating society, we were never awarded a child to foster. Desperately, we resorted to surrogacy and in March last year, our son Sascha was born. Since then, we’ve been asked countless times what it means to be gay parents. It’s a difficult question. Being a “gay” parent per se does not mean much to me or my husband or even Sascha. It seems to have more of an impact on the people around us as they witness two men raising happy and healthy children. I’ve come to believe that gays as parents may result in shifting attitudes toward the LGBT community as a whole. So much of homophobia is based on fear of the unknown. The more people see LGBT families, the less they will fear us or listen to hate speech from politicians and religious leaders. Gay parenting may one day reduce prejudice, make it easier for gays to come out and for gay teens to face bullies. Every now and then, there are people out there who will frown upon seeing us with our son. We recently had such an encounter. But more and more, they are becoming the exception rather than the rule. For me, Father’s Day isn’t about getting a tie from my son (heaven forbid, as I don’t wear them). The day is to celebrate Alex and me, and our united contribution in raising our son, Sascha. Just as my dad once joined my brother and me in celebrating mom, paying to take her out to lunch and helping us make dinner and breakfast in bed, so too will we do for our boy. Happy Father’s Day, gay dads. Article 12th June 2014 www.washingtonblade.com Gay? wanting to become a dad? register as a co-parent on www.prideangel.com

Gay dads spend $100,000 to ensure next child is a girl

Gay Dads: Barrie and Tony Drewitt-Barlow, from Essex, England already have five kids via egg donors and surrogates — 4 boys and a girl. But the millionaire dads want more! They have now spent over $100,000 to ensure their next child is a girl. As reported in Britain’s Daily Mail, the couple flew to California to use IVF treatment to ensure the baby’s sex. (The treatment is not legal in Britain.) The couple used their sperm to fertilize three eggs, all of which are being carried by a surrogate mother. With the expensive and uncommon IVF treatment, the probability is high that one if not all of the triplets will be female. Barrie and Tony already have two sets of twins, Aspen and Saffron, and Jasper and Dallas, plus a middle son, Orlando. In naming the new triplets, we suggest Liesl, Brigitta and Gretl. These poppas love their wee ones, don’t you forget it. As Barrie told Britain’s Closer magazine: “We can’t wait to spoil our new daughters. I want to buy them pink Prada dresses and babygros. “We will recycle too. We are going to use Saffron’s old wicker crib from Harrods, which cost £5,000, and divide one of the £100,000 diamond necklaces she does not wear any more into individual pieces for the babies. “And we want to decorate the nursery as a rainforest!” “Saffron’s clothes come from every designer from Gucci and Karen Millen and she has 500 pairs of shoes. “We spent £50,000 having her room designed like a swanky London flat with a 39-inch plasma TV and furniture from Harrods. The boys are not as bothered about clothes, but we get them the latest iPads and laptops.” The couple first hit their beloved media spotlight in 1999, when they became Britain’s first legally recognized same-sex couple. When they had their first set of twins, Aspen and Saffron, both dad’s names we placed on their children’s birth certificates. Article: 12th June 2012 www.queerty.com