Testimonial from a new Dad 'Thank you Pride Angel'

Dear Pride Angel,
I have been wanting to write for a long time but finally I have taken the time to do it. Thanks to this website I am now a dad. Ethan was born 17 July 2014. He lives with his two amazing mums Jane and Sarah. I can't believe how lucky we are. We feel so blessed! Legally they are the parents and Ethan is very lucky having the two best mums in the world! Ethan will always know that I am the dad and will call me dad. I think it's important for all children to know where they come from. That was what I wanted from the day I posted my initial profile here on Pride Angel and I was lucky to find Jane and Sarah who wanted the same as me.
I did find another couple on Pride Angel before Jane and Sarah and we tried 11 times to get pregnant but it didn't work out. It was a hard decision to tell them I didn't think it would work. I almost gave up becoming a dad but my paternal instincts were so strong so I tried to find another lesbian couple through Pride Angel. I couldn't believe my luck when I heard from Sarah and Jane- that lived just 10 minutes walk away! We met up many times, we had to build a lot of trust and shared our values and lives. After a while Jane and Sarah trusted me, and I trusted them that they wouldn't cut me off after Ethan was born. I think we tried the artificial insemination at their home 4 times before Ethan was conceived. The following 9 months felt like 9 years, we were so excited.
Realizing I was gay at 15 years old, I never thought I was going to be a dad. So to see Sarah pregnant knowing that another human being was inside her, with half of my DNA felt both amazing and surreal. Towards the end I truly realized the magnitude of what Jane, Sarah and I had done- creating a child! Many thoughts went through my head, were we selfish putting this child into a world that wasn't 'normal'? Was our child going to be bullied? Were we playing God creating babies artificially? Now looking back all those questions seem silly but right there and then, that was what I thought about. When I saw the photo of a new born Ethan and the happy face of his two mums, I felt a sense of piece, my life felt so accomplished. This was what I wanted for such a long time; to help a lesbian couple having a family and somehow passing on my own legacy. It's hard to explain with words how happy I was. Ethan is the most amazing little kid I have ever met, he's so sociable and confident. It shows what an amazing job Jane and Sarah are doing, they give him so much love. Ethan is also surrounded by their amazing family and friends making him feel even more loved.
I see Ethan about every two to three weeks, sometimes more, sometimes less. But only when it feels natural for all of us. There's no pressure. Jane and Sarah have become my two soul mates, they know everything about me. I sometimes come and tell them all my love or family problems and they always listen, they are amazing people. I'm so lucky. And I guess they are lucky too but foremost, Ethan is lucky to come in to this world with so much love. And if it wasn't for your website, he wouldn't be here today. So a huge thank you from Jane, Sarah, Ethan and I.
Kind regards, Andrew
PS. The first couple that I met through Pride Angel was in the end also lucky to have a baby called Jude. They had to do it a bit more complicated with the help of a clinic, they took an egg from one of the mums and planted it into the other mum that didn't have any eggs. A friend of theirs is the donor. So they also had a happy ending and we are all so grateful for each other. maybe one day Ethan and Jake can play together.

Charlie Condou talks about leaving Coronation street and being a gay dad

The 40-year-old is best known for playing sonographer Marcus Dent, who has had a turbulent relationship with Coronation Street’s other main gay character, Sean Tully, played by Antony Cotton. After a three year absence, Charlie’s character was made more prominent following his return to Coronation Street in March 2011. Although he is leaving the show for a second time, Charlie says he initially only planned to return on a three-month contract. The current decision to place his character in a heterosexual relationship with Maria Connor has been the subject of much controversy. Speaking to PinkNews.co.uk from a sedate coffee shop close to his home in Islington, north London, with his two-year-old son, Hal, quietly napping in a pram, Charlie is keen to defend the storyline and says: “When they came to me with that storyline, the producer who was gay said ‘we’ve had this idea. We want to look at what happens when a gay man who is completely comfortable with his sexuality, knows who he is, falls in love with a woman, and he will continue to identify as gay; he will be a gay man, he will be very clear about that, but he’s fallen in love with a woman’.” Charlie goes on to say: “And I know that the producer was good friends with Russell T Davis, and they had a friend who was a gay man who had done that and they had made the series Bob and Rose, based on the guy. I am aware that it does happen and I was interested. I have said this before, but if Coronation Street had come to me with that storyline ten years ago, I don’t think I would have been comfortable doing it because I don’t think it would have been giving the right message if you like, if that’s our job in soaps. “But I really do think we have moved on from that and I don’t think people are stupid anymore and I don’t think that they would see Marcus falling for Maria and think ‘he just needed the love of a good woman’, that’s not what we were saying in the storyline at all. We just wanted to explore it. In terms from a dramatic point of view it’s certainly not been done before. Marcus has also said that he doesn’t even consider himself bisexual, if he wasn’t with Maria he would be with a man, he’s very clear about that, and of course it’s soap, it’s never going to end well.” According to Radio Times, show executives have promised that Marcus’s involvement with Todd Grimshaw will “divide the residents of Coronation Street”. With a large hint that Marcus’s relationship with Maria is heading for the cliff, Charlie tells PinkNews.co.uk: “Of course at some point he was going to end up with a man again of course he was. So I was interested in looking at what happens and how to play that out. I’ve been quite behind the storyline, I know a lot of the gay community doesn’t feel the same way because Marcus was considered a positive role model, I totally get that, but I don’t know, sometimes I think people’s sexuality can be complicated and the storyline is may be just a sense of that.” When asked by PinkNews.co.uk if he would have considered staying in Coronation Street if his character had been given greater prominence, Charlie replies: “Possibly yeah, I mean you never know. It’s definitely true to say I’ve had a quiet year there and perhaps if I hadn’t, if I had been really busy I would have felt differently, but that’s the way it goes in soaps. Characters go through ups and downs, sometimes they focus on one set of characters for a period of time and then they move off and focus on others. It’s like that for everyone there but for me I was just getting a bit frustrated and it wasn’t worth being away from the kids just to be ordering a pint in The Rovers every now and again.” Once he leaves Coronation Street this summer, Charlie says being able to spend more time with his family in London is one of the things he is most looking forward too. The regular periods away in Manchester have been particularly hard on his 4-year-old daughter, Georgia. His children mean the world to him, and from a young age, the actor reveals he always wanted to be a father. “Definitely. I had always wanted to be a dad since I was probably about 13. I suppose it is quite rare for gay people in the public eye, although it’s becoming more commonplace with people like Elton John and David Furnish obviously, Ricky Martin, Neil Patrick Harris, people like that are doing it now,” Charlie jokes to PinkNews.co.uk, “I like to think they all copied me.” The actor previously wrote a column for The Guardian about his experiences of being a gay parent with the aim of raising awareness. “I think that was part of the reason I decided to be quite vocal about it,” he says. “The reason I asked The Guardian for the column was because when I was growing up there weren’t any gay people that I knew that had kids and it was something that I struggled with. Read more ...

Gay and Lesbian co-parenting - Do we need more legal recognition?

Invitation to Participate in an Exciting New Study Researchers at the University of Exeter are conducting research into what the study calls ‘platonic parenting’ within the LGBT community. ‘Platonic parenting’ is where children are being raised by adults not all of whom are in an intimate relationship. For example, a gay male couple may have a child with a female friend, all three of whom could be involved in raising the child. We are particularly interested in the reasons why people would or would not engage in this type of parenting arrangement and your views on the legal recognition of such families. We are looking for participants to take part in a confidential 45-minute telephone/face-to-face interview to discuss these issues. This project is supported by the Economic and Social Research Council and will adhere to strict ethical guidelines. All information from the interviews will be stored anonymously and treated as confidential. Interested in being involved in the research? If so, we’d love you to complete our short survey if you – • are currently raising a child, either as a single person or part of a couple, together with a friend or acquaintance. OR • have ever considered raising a child with a friend or acquaintance. OR • may consider this type of parenting arrangement in the future. We are particularly keen to hear from people parenting in this way within the LGBT community but we encourage anyone who is interested in the research issues to complete the survey. For more information about the study and for a link to the short preliminary survey about you and your family please visit: www.platonicparents.co.uk or e mail Philip Bremner at pdb203@exeter.ac.uk. Thank you! Article: 18th September 2012 www.platonicparents.co.uk

Wishing all dads out there a fantastic father’s day! Whether you are gay or straight, single or in a relationship, there are so many ways in which being a ‘dad’ can play an important role in a child’s life. You may be a donor wishing to stay in contact with a child like an ‘uncle figure’ or maybe you are co-parenting with a single woman or lesbian couple. Your family may have been created by fostering, adoption or even surrogacy. Whatever the process - one thing is for sure, that the journey to parenthood although not always easy, will have brought joy and love to your lives. We at Pride Angel have thousands of female members wishing to meet genuine sperm donors or co-parents willing to give the gift of life. Why not play a role in their child’s lives, whether it’s simply enabling a child to be able to send a father’s day card or even having regular contact with their dad. So if you think you can help someone create their dream of having a family and even achieve your own dream of becoming a ‘dad’ then why not register today for FREE with Pride Angel. Article: by Pride Angel 17th June 2012

Are you co-parenting or looking to co-parent? we want to hear your story

An Emmy award winning production company is interested to hear true life testimonials from people who are currently in a co-parenting relationship or are looking to start a co-parenting relationship.
For research purposes, our company is looking for insight into the reasons why people co-parent and the journey's people go through during the process in efforts to understand something that is just now emerging in the culture in a more public way.

Our company has experience researching and producing documentaries about complex social subjects such as the american hunger epidemic, bullying in schools and many others.

With your help, we hope to gather enough information about the co-parenting world to hopefully be able to develop awareness around the topic.

If you are willing to share your story, we would love to listen!

Thank you!

Sperm donors online: Are there emotional and physical risks?

The following recent article by the Daily Mail highlights the risks both physically and emotionally of sleeping with a sperm donor met online. As a single woman any donor would be classed as the child’s legal father and could be held financially responsible. For this reason many donors may try to conceal their true identity, which adds a greater risk for the recipient, of not having adequate identification for CRB checks and health screening tests. Not to mention the importance of any child not being able to trace their biological routes when they are older.

Erika from Pride Angel states ‘ There are many advantages for personally meeting a sperm donor and having them involved in their child’s life’ ‘Making sure that both parties have the same views regarding their parenting and level of involvement is imperative to any successful arrangement’

‘It is also important to consider the risks, getting legal advice and full health screening tests before attempting to conceive’ ‘Using a regulated clinic is the only real way of being certain about any health risks and gaining fertility treatment through a clinic also clarifies the legal position for both the donor and the recipient’ .

For these reasons Pride Angel unlike many other websites, has strict terms and conditions regarding donors not donating by natural insemination, no payments being offered and anonymous donation is strongly discouraged. Profiles are monitored constantly and users are able to ‘Report’ any concerns they have regarding other members.

Article: Frances Benning, 29 has chosen to conceive with a sperm donor. She has scheduled the event meticulously; planned every detail with military precision — for her sole purpose is to become pregnant. But the man she has chosen to be the father of her baby is neither her husband, nor her partner nor, even, a long-term friend. In fact, he is Toby, a sperm donor she met for the first time just a few hours ago.

Toby, 30, who is affluent and handsome with a glamorous job in the film industry, and Frances — attractive, articulate and privately-educated — were introduced via a website that matches potential sperm donors with would-be mothers. After she singled him out as a prospective father, they corresponded before arranging to meet.

No money would change hands but, at the end of their brief encounter, Frances fervently hoped, Toby would have bestowed on her the priceless gift of life.

After that, she planned to embark on life as a single mum. She figured she could manage perfectly alone: she is resourceful, financially secure and owns her own house outright. But as is often the case with even the best-laid schemes, Frances’ went awry. For a start, she failed to factor emotions into her plan, and had not reckoned on the impact of seeing the father of her future child face-to-face.

‘When I first met Toby I thought, “Wow!”,’ she recalls. ‘He is 6ft 5in, dark-haired and blue-eyed with lovely broad muscular shoulders. He looked even better than he did in his photos. Under different circumstances Frances, a legal secretary, and Toby, whose job as a researcher takes him round the world, could have been made for each other.

To read more go to http://bit.ly/fGXZOg

A Guide for Gay Dads - launched by Stonewall

Stonewall has launched this week 'A Guide for Gay Dads', giving gay men practical advice in plain English on how to become a dad.
The guide is the brother publication to Pregnant Pause, released earlier this year. It guides prospective gay dads through all their options including adoption, co-parenting, surrogacy, sperm donation and fostering. It includes a handy glossary and spells out all the recent legal changes in plain English to help demystify the process.

Ben Summerskill, Stonewall Chief Executive, said: ‘There’s never been a better time for gay men to start a family in Britain. The law is now on their side. And this comprehensive new guide – the first of its kind specifically aimed at gay men – outlines all options, with handy tips and places to go for further support. We hope it’ll convince some gay men who might have otherwise written off the prospect of raising children to re-consider.’

Stonewall we have worked hard to ensure that gay people can have and raise children like everyone else. While our lobbying has helped changed the law – allowing gay couples to adopt, removing barriers to fertility treatment for lesbians and outlawing discrimination in goods and services, including organisations offering social and family services – there is still lots to do.

Not only does the 'Guide for Gay Dads' give vitally useful legal advice on what parenting rights you may have in different situations but it gives you an overview of what you can expect from each route to becoming a dad. Given the recent changes to the law it is a must-read for any gay men considering starting a family.

Cambridge University research for Stonewall published earlier this year demonstrated how children with same-sex parents have the exact same quality of upbringing as other children. Alice, 7, who was interviewed for the research said: ‘I’ve got two parents who love me. It doesn’t matter if they’re a boy or a girl.’

Stonewall’s YouTube channel www.youtube.com/stonewalluk currently includes an interview with Jess Sweeney, 17, whose dad is gay. She told us: ‘Every girl wants a gay best friend, but mine is my dad, too.’

If you would like a free hardcopy of the guide, email Stonewall at info@stonewall.org.uk
or Click here to download A Guide for Gay Dads

It’s the latest in a programme of recent work to ensure lesbian and gay people can start families and bring up children free from homophobia. Earlier this year Stonewall published their groundbreaking (Different Families) research which for the first time allowed the overwhelmingly illuminating voices of children with gay parents to be heard and last year they published (Pregnant Pause), a guide for lesbians on how to get pregnant.

Read more about the guide at www.stonewall.org.uk

For more information about gay parenting, becoming a sperm donor or co-parenting visit www.prideangel.com

To read more go to http://bit.ly/94M2AZ

Sperm donor websites: a personal fertility choice?

Sperm donor websites are increasing in popularity with many people searching for a sperm donor or co-parent online. Are they a health risk or a personal choice which could benefit the future of any future children?
There has been a lot of bad press recently in light of the two businessmen Nigel Woodforth and Ricky Gage, charged for not having a licence to procure gametes. The pair acted as ‘sperm brokers’ aiding in the transport and testing of sperm. They enabled anonymous donation and put women’s health at risk by organising health screening. This has brought to the attention the increased popularity of sperm donor websites which effectively connect donors and recipients looking for sperm.

Sperm donor or co-parenting websites are not required by law to be regulated, as long as they are simply bringing people together, not acting as intermediaries in the way that the two recently convicted were doing. When a site is purely a connection service a women is able to make her own choice about whether she wishes to protect her heath and legal rights by taking the donor to a regulated fertility clinic, or whether she feels that there is a level of trust sufficient for them to obtain the necessary health screening tests themselves, through a clinic, GP or GUM service. After which recipients may decide to choose home insemination as a method of conception. This later option is more applicable to co-parenting situations whereby the donor and recipient have got to know each other over a period of time and there are legal co-parenting agreements in place before proceeding.

Women wish to have choices about how they will conceive and should they not have the freedom to make those choices without regulatory constraints. The emphasis should therefore not be about removing such choices, but instead about educating individuals so that they are fully informed about any risks they are taking, enabling them to make better informed decisions, which are right for their personal circumstances and their potential child.

There has been a social and cultural shift in recent times, towards women wishing to meet a known donor. Some may say this is because of high fertility costs, or maybe the ‘shortage of donors’ or could it be that women are actually thinking of their children’s future and that they would far rather personally meet a like minded individual, who is happy to stay in touch as an ‘uncle type’ figure, rather than for their child to always long to meet an unknown donor as they grow up. There has been much research and evidence which has shown that children who know the identity of their donor and know the truth about their conception from an early age are more secure with their identity as they become adults.

The change to the anonymity law, is a good thing for donor conceived children allowing them to trace the identity of their donor at age 18, however we are still to really discover the effect this will have on the thousands of children who may be wanting to meet their biological father in the future. They may find that the donor is simply not interested in being contacted. There is also the worry that the donor may not be the kind of person the mother would wish for their child to meet, after all, she may have only received basic details such as height and eye colour, by which to choose her donor originally. There is also the real concern of genetic attraction which especially affects parents and children who have never met before adulthood. The effect of this could be potentially catastrophic.

When these effects do come to the forefront in the year 2023, 18 years after the new law was introduced in 2005, will it be decided that children where better off not really getting this information? Would it not therefore be far better for donor conceived children to have known of their donor from the beginning?

So what is the answer, surely to give people the option of finding a known donor or co-parent and for the authorities to work together with sperm donor websites to ensure that enough information is available to their users regarding health screening and the legal implications allowing the ability for them to source accessible and affordable fertility treatment?

A spokesman for the HFEA has pointed out that it is the health risks of not using a fertility clinic which concerns them most. Therefore they are advising people to only use sperm donor websites which direct their users to a licensed clinic, ensuring that complete health screening is completed and that a record of the donor’s name is kept on file.

Pride Angel the leading worldwide connection site primarily aimed at the gay and lesbian community is the only website dedicated to providing quality information regarding health screening and fertility law. Erika co-founder of Pride Angel stated ’all our profiles are continually screening to ensure users are not offering ‘natural insemination’ or requesting an ‘anonymous’ donor. Nor is payment for donations allowed to be offered or requested.’ ‘We also offer email support for users requiring help and further information.’ ‘Users should never consider using a donor who offers natural insemination, even if they offer artificial insemination as well. The health risks of such ‘promiscuous’ donors is too great’.

‘We have had so many people thank us for the service we provide, without which co-parenting arrangements would not happen and many lesbian couples and gay men would not have the chance to experience the joys of parenthood.’ says Erika

For more information regarding finding a co-parent, health screening and fertility law visit www.prideangel.com

To read more go to http://bit.ly/9aF997