Deciding upon Donor Conception: The Future of the Child

The decision to have a child is one of the most important decisions you will ever make. Having a child is a strong desire for most individuals, although some are unfortunately unable to do so on their own. If that is the case for you, then donor conception might be a concept that you have thought about or that you are highly considering. If so, you might be wondering how donor conception could affect your child later in life. This article will discuss some of the effects that donor conception might have on a child, as well as tips on how to prepare yourself for explaining donor conception to your child. What is donor conception? Donor conception is the use of donated sperm, embryos, or eggs in order to conceive a child. Common forms of donor conception include surrogacy, in vitro fertilization, and sperm donation. A surrogate mother is often used when a female cannot carry to term her own child, and she wants to have a child with her own genetics. In vitro fertilization occurs when the male’s sperm is not able to conceive a child; therefore the female is injected with the sperm of a donor. And lastly, sperm donation is also common among lesbian couples and single women who do not have a partner and would like to have a child. How will it affect my child? If you are planning to use donor conception, there are a few questions you will need to ask yourself beforehand, such as the following: Who will tell my child that they are a “donor” child? Will I share that information with family and friends or simply keep it private? How can I prepare myself to explain the situation to my child properly? Will I be open from the start with my child? There are many questions, but answering these few beforehand will prepare you for the process, as well as help you to make the decision in a more educated way. Another aspect to consider when considering donor conception is whether or not your child will want to know about his/her donor. If the child does want to know about the donor, it is important that you understand the process of recovering that information. When your child is 18, they will have access to the donor registry with information about their donor, as well as information about any donor siblings. This information is stored by HFEA, the Human Fertilization and Embryology Authority. The information is separated into two categories: non identifying information and identifying information. Non identifying information will include the physical appearance, number of children, and ethnic group of that donor while the identifying information will include the last known address, name, and date of birth of the donor. It is important that you are aware of this information and this process, and also that you receive counseling and guidance before making the decision to conceive by donor conception. Article: 31st October 2013 by Tess Young About the Author Tess Young is a freelance writer and blogger. Some of the topics that she writes about include technology, home design, travel and health. She suggests looking at the information provided by California Cryobank regarding the effects of donor conception in order to learn more about the process.

US says it is ok for women over 50 to get fertility treatment

A key group representing fertility specialists in the U.S. has shifted its messaging and now says that healthy women over the age of 50 should not be discouraged from trying to become pregnant using donor eggs or embryos. The American Society for Reproductive Medicine has long said that women older than 50 should be "discouraged" from seeking fertility treatments. But new guidelines, published this month in the Journal of Fertility and Sterility, reverse that stance. The group now says women between 50 and 55 who are healthy and "well prepared" for child rearing should be allowed to receive donated eggs and embryos. “The Committee believes that achieving a pregnancy through egg donation after age 50 is not such a significant departure from other currently accepted fertility treatments as to be considered ethically inappropriate in postmenopausal women,” the group says in the paper. For most women over 50, pregnancy is not an option, since the average of menopause is 52. While most women wouldn’t even want to become pregnant after that age, some do, and the ASRM says there is no reason why these women can’t raise children, as many already do as grandparents. “There is, therefore, no reason to assume that society will be harmed by allowing older individuals to procreate, or that older women and their partners lack the physical and psychological stamina for raising children,” the ASRM says in its paper. “Also, because older men may father children, denying women a successful alternative for reproduction at ages equivalent to men is prejudicial.” Nonetheless, the ASRM notes there are physical risks to becoming pregnant after 50. Dr. Tom Hannam of Toronto’s Hannam Fertility Centre explains that it’s not the conception process that’s risky; in fact, that stage is fairly simple. The prospective mother takes hormone pills for a few days to build up her uterine lining and then the fertilized embryo is transferred to her uterus in a simple in-office procedure. But it’s the pregnancy itself that can be difficult, Hannam says. “The risks from the conception are not that high. It’s the complications-risk during the pregnancy that can be concerning,” he told CTV New Channel. “It’s clear that as women age, the health concerns that women have over the age of 50 are more likely to be amplified during pregnancy.” Those concerns include the risk of hypertension, gestational diabetes and the need for caesarean section. Studies on the small number of women who have achieved pregnancy after 50 suggest all these risks rise for older mothers. Hannam says it would have to be up to a fertility specialist to decide if a patient over 50 is fit enough for pregnancy. “Ultimately, it has to be individualized. And when we look to women over 50, one would have to be very careful indeed,” he says. While the ASRM guidelines are meant for U.S. fertility specialists, Hannam says they will affect Canadian women too. That’s because since 2004, it’s been illegal to offer egg donors financial compensation in Canada, so the vast majority of egg donation takes place in clinics in the U.S. “Because it’s illegal to pay a woman for her eggs, most women who want to use donor eggs are going to the U.S.,” Hannam says. But he says the guidelines will also help doctors like him in Canada because they give him some literature to refer to patients who are considering pregnancy after menopause. “I’m glad there are articulated limits in the U.S. It’s going to help people make choices,” he said. Article: 28th March 2013 www.ctvnews.ca Read more about egg donation and finding an egg donor at www.prideangel.com

61 year old IVF mum said 'I was too old when I had my baby'

A retired teacher who gave birth at 57 through IVF now admits that she was too old to have a child. Susan Tollefsen sparked an ethical storm after becoming Britain’s oldest first-time mother when she had daughter Freya using sperm from her partner Nick Mayer, who is 11 years her junior, and a donor egg.
Now aged 61 and separated from Mr Mayer, she believes there should be an age limit of 50 for IVF treatment for women in the UK. The pensioner said she had split from Mr Mayer in part because of the ‘shock’ of having a child so late in life.

She said: ‘Freya is without doubt the best thing I have ever done in my life, and I have no regrets. But with the benefit of hindsight I recognise that perhaps some of my critics were right.

'I get a great emotional feeling when I look at her, and a sadness when I realise time’s running out. If I could change just one thing, I would wish to be younger so I could enjoy watching Freya grow up, get married and have children of her own. ‘If I’m completely honest, my experience has taught me that 50 should probably be the cut-off limit for having children, but until you have them it’s almost impossible to appreciate that. ‘It’s so true that you only learn by your own mistakes, and my mistake was not to have had her sooner.’

Mrs Tollefsen, a former special needs teacher from Laindon, Essex, gave birth to Freya in 2008. The strain exposed problems that already existed in her relationship with Mr Mayer, and she is now bringing up Freya on her own on a tight income, which includes her pension. Freya stays with her father, a warehouse manager, every other weekend.

‘I’ve never regretted having Freya, but I’ve had to pay a heavy price for my dream of being a mother,’ Mrs Tollefsen added. ‘It’s cost me my relationship. ‘You think you’re madly in love with someone and you just don’t realise what they’re going to be like after you’ve had children.’

Mr Mayer, 49, said: ‘We’re living separately for various reasons. I’d prefer us all to be living together but that’s just not the case – but who knows what’ll happen in the future.’

Mrs Tollefsen also acknowledged the age gap between herself and other mothers at the school gates. ‘They are nice people but we are so different – we are from different generations,’ she said. ‘I have little in common with most of them. They talk about nights out and music and things that just don’t involve me. Sometimes I envy them their youth and infinite chances. I realised, belatedly, that I wanted a sibling for Freya but regretfully I had to devote the time to nursing my parents. But perhaps more than most I now know the real value of the time that’s left to us, and I don’t intend to waste a moment.’

She added: ‘A lot of the criticism I faced was based on my age, with claims that Freya would be abandoned in the event of my death. But Nick is still in his 40s.’ She also lamented the fact that older fathers do not face the sort of criticism she encountered, saying: ‘They get a slap on the back.’ Josephine Quintavalle, a co-founder of the pressure group Comment on Reproductive Ethics, praised Mrs Tollefsen’s candour. ‘One has to admire her honesty in coming forward and speaking frankly about the difficulties about being a mother so old,’ she said. ‘We can only hope that this acts as a warning to others who are in their later years and considering having a child.

‘One has to feel sorry for her, because she took advantage of something society offered her. But I think it shows that we need to have a bit more respect for nature, which seems to know how hard it is to look after a child when you are older. There is a very good reason the menopause comes when it does. IVF and egg-donating are creating a lot of unnatural situations.

‘As a society, we have to start to look at all of these issues from the perspective of the child and ask what is best for them. ‘The ideal situation for a child is to be with a two parents who are young and healthy enough to look after them.’

Article: 7th November 2011 www.dailymail.co.uk