Anonymous donor conceived want the right to know their biological parents

It is undeniable that we humans have an innate desire to know from whom we came. Many people who are adopted or have only one parent will tell you that they feel they are missing a piece of a puzzle. Genealogy websites like Ancestry.com exist because of our fascination with our genetic ancestors. Every time I see an ad for Ancestry.com, a place where you “Find your ancestors’ stories” and “Discover yours,” I feel that tug to find out more about my grandparents and great-grandparents. My daughter’s junior year project for high school was a presentation and paper on the immigration of both sides of her family to America. Now imagine if you were purposely denied one half of your story by a powerful industry that runs on anonymity. And what if when you pointed out the intentional injustice, you were told that you should shut-up and simply be grateful for your life. This is the experience for many a child conceived from anonymous donor gametes. The following is a excerpt from testimony that Alana S. Newman, founder of AnonymousUs.org, gave to the California Assembly Committee on Health regarding AB460, a bill in the California legislature that would require insurers to offer coverage for infertility treatments regardless of the relationship. Alana is bravely standing up for the rights of those intentionally denied what she believes is a fundamental right: the right to a relationship with one’s biological parents. She writes: The facts of my conception are that my father was paid to abandon me. There is no dignity in that. I suffered from debilitating identity issues, mistrust of the opposite sex, hatred and condemnation of the opposite sex, feelings of objectification – like I only exist as a play – toy for others, and feeling like a science experiment. If people can take away something so precious as a mother or father and make us feel like we should be grateful for the loss, what else can people take away from us? How do you expect the next generation to fight for things like freedom, democracy, clean air, clean water, when something as precious and basic as your mother or father is stolen from you? Removed by the state… Removed by a fertility industry that forces you into existence and then doesn’t return your calls when you grow up and start banging on their doors asking for records… Removed by a commissioning parent, often your other biological parent who vowed to protect and provide for you, but only on the contingency that you show gratitude for your life and don’t ask questions about the other missing parent…. One of the United State’s most famous civil rights leaders was Malcolm X. The “X” he used to replace his last name was a direct criticism of slave – owners removing slaves from their spouses, parents and children, and being disconnected from their ancestry and heritage. “Who do you think you are” is a popular TV show where celebrities have their genealogy investigated. Rosie O’Donnell herself expressed a craving to “discover her family as fully fleshed out people and learn about their journeys”. The sheer existence of a term and concept like genealogy demonstrates that it is unfair to minimize and marginalize donor – conceived people’s curiosities about our genetic kin, and dismiss our desire for connection….. Having a bloated industry where medical and legal professionals profit from separating children from their biological parents is problematic. Very few people like to hear that their choices have devastating consequences for others. If there is a place where voices like Alana’s need to be heard, it is the fertility machine. Both infertile couples and the fertility industry must hear what she is saying. The desire for a child does not trump the right of a child to know his or her biological parents. Article: 14th June 2013 www.lifenews.com

Sperm donation in the US - not a DIY project!

Several months ago I consulted with a woman and her same-sex partner. I'll refer to them as "Sue" and "Sally." They had a 3-year-old son who was conceived using sperm donated directly to the couple by a close friend named "Stan." Donation and conception took place under friendly circumstances at the women's home. Stan did his part in the privacy of their bathroom, and they promptly used his sperm to create a baby. Voilà, the conception of "Baby X" was confirmed in a matter of weeks. I asked Sue and Sally why they never hired lawyers, and why they asked Stan to donate his sperm in their home. The answer was the same I hear every time I ask this question: They had wanted to keep the relationship and the process "natural" and "informal" so as not to scare Stan. Fast-forwarding three years to the reason Sue and Sally were in my office, it turns out they were not enjoying the friendship they once had with Stan. Instead, they were exchanging heated emails and text messages with him. Stan had fallen in love with Baby X, and Sue and Sally had become uncomfortable with Stan's expectations regarding his role and time spent with the child. Stan had mentioned possible legal action to obtain parental rights. Sue and Sally wanted to know if Stan could file for legal rights and, heaven forbid, obtain a formal custody order. Sue was angry with Sally for refusing to hire an attorney or use a physician for the sperm donation in the first place. Sally's mind was blown that Stan could potentially have legal rights to her child. The thought had never crossed her mind. We had a mess on our hands. Our nation presents a very complicated state-by-state legal quilt on donor insemination. But one thing is consistent throughout the country: No matter where you live, the informal, friendly, at-home donation method is a bad idea. The casual use of a friend's sperm almost always leads to unwanted legal consequences. New parents often tell me they want to avoid formality because it feels wrong -- somehow it defeats the entire purpose of becoming parents. Why hire physicians and attorneys for something that should be natural and organic? The answer is simple: Becoming a parent is one of the most important things you will do in this lifetime, and it needs to be done right. Choosing to use a friend as your sperm donor is a big decision. Do not shy away from formality and transparency! You likely chose your donor for more than his pretty face -- you probably share a deep emotional connection with him. This makes transparency and formality that much more important. A contract ensures that you, your partner, and your sperm donor have a complete meeting of the minds regarding expectations, roles, legal rights, etc. The same holds true for involving a physician; it not only ensures medical safety but protects your donor legally. If you are using a known donor whom you do not want to have parental rights, the safe approach is to formalize -- anything less is asking for trouble. This is a two-step process: First, hire an attorney to explain the process and draft the necessary contracts for you. Second, have the donor provide his sperm through a licensed physician. The clarity and transparency that comes with the formal approach is not only shrewd planning; it's respectful to the donor. Article: 10th June 2013 www.huffingtonpost.com Read more about known sperm donation and home insemination at www.prideangel.com

Lesbian couple want their son to have 'married mummies'

Among the supporters of same-sex marriage outside the Palace of Westminster last week, PinkNews reported spotting a lesbian couple with their son who are desperate to marry. Stella and her partner Lucy attended the vigil with their son Bailey. Stella told PinkNews.co.uk: “We have booked to get married next August. We just want our son Bailey to have same equivilent as all his friends, married parents. He knows the difference between marriage and civil partnership, that they are simply not equal. He just wants married mummies!” Stella added: “We’re desperate for the law to pass in time for our wedding.” She praised the Out4Marriage campaign, initiated by PinkNews for its work on same-sex marriage equality. Last night, the former Chief Constable of West Midlands Police, Lord Dear, had tabled a “fatal” amendment to deny the bill its second reading. In voting against the amendment, with 390 votes to 148, a majority of 242, the House of Lords allowed the passage of the bill to committee stage. Article: 5th June 2013 www.pinknews.co.uk Read more about gay and lesbian parenting at www.prideangel.com

Cardiff: Want to be a Parent Show - Saturday 8th June

Join some of Britains leading experts in fertility, surrogacy, adoption and fostering along with alternative families. When? Saturday 8th June 9:30am-5:00pm The show is being held at the: Where? Mercure Cardiff Holland House Hotel 24 26 Newport Road Cardiff CF24 0DD There will be a variety of seminars taking place throughout the day to include: Seminars 10:30 Surrogacy 11:20 Adoption and fostering 12:00 IVF in Wales 13:00 HFEA 13:50 Single mothers by choice 14:40 Fertility for the over 40s 15:30 Fertility treatment - donor sperm 16:20 Stonewall - different families - same love Pride Angel are the leading parenting connection website, for sperm donors and co-parenting. They will be exhibiting at the show. Please feel free to come and speak to Pride Angel to discuss your gay and lesbian parenting options. Article: 8th June 2013 www.prideangel.com Looking for a sperm donor or co-parent? Gay, lesbian, straight or single? visit Pride Angel

Gay, lesbian or straight in Argentina now to get IVF treatment

Health care providers in Argentina must now provide fertility treatments such as IVF to anyone older than 18 who wants them, be they married or single, gay or straight. The lower house of congress voted 203-to-1 Wednesday to approve the law, which applies to private medical plans as well as the public health care system. Lobbyists in support of the law say one in six Argentine couples suffers from infertility. The law specifies a range of treatments to include IVF averaging about $4,000 each. The health ministry now must issue regulations saying how often a person can benefit. President Cristina Fernandez was pleased, saying in a tweet: "Assisted fertilization is law as of today. More rights, more inclusion, better country." Article: 6th June 2013 www.prideangel.com Read more about gay and lesbian parenting at www.prideangel.com

New Parents Study: Are you having your first child?

Did you use assisted reproduction procedures (surrogacy or donor insemination)? Researchers at the Universities of Cambridge, Paris and Amsterdam are looking for lesbian, gay and heterosexual couples based in the UK, France or Holland, who used donor insemination or surrogacy to conceive their child. The New Parents Study is examining the development of relationships between parents and their babies during the first year of life. As part of the New Parents Study we will visit you once at your home, when your baby is 4 months old. Then, when your baby is 12 months old, you will come to see us. During these visits we will get to see your baby develop through videoing interactions with you, a short interview and questionnaires. For more information about this study, please go to www.psychol.cam.ac.uk/adprg/new-parents-study or contact us at infancy@hermes.cam.ac.uk Contact us at Pride Angel for more information. Article: 4th June 2013 by Dr Kate Ellis-Davies Research Associate Applied Developmental Psychology Research Group University of Cambridge

Glow iphone app aims to help women get pregnant by data processing

A new app from the co-founder of PayPal helps couples achieve a successful pregnancy by notifying them via their smartphones when they are most likely to conceive, and offering handy tips about buying presents and dressing for the occasion. The Glow app processes data entered by a woman trying to become pregnant, including details of her menstrual cycle and body temperature, and produces a colour-coded chart that highlights opportune moments in the month for baby-making. Some may find it odd to take such intimate instructions from their mobile, but billionaire Ukrainian entrepeneur Max Levchin, who co-founded the PayPal digital payment platform in 1998, believes the app gives a novel edge to what can become an "unpleasurable routine" for struggling couples. "Many of the reasons why people find it difficult, when they’re keeping on the clock, is because it becomes unpleasurable when it’s a routine,” he told technology website All Things D. Mr Levchin is a father-of-two who conceived his children without difficulties, but was inspired to create the Glow app after hearing about friends' experiences with IVF. "We have people close to us that have gone through multiple IVF trials," he said, "and we’ve heard them say, ‘We’re not going to put my wife’s body through this anymore.’" In 2011, almost 14,000 British women became pregnant through IVF, as the average age when women give birth in the West continues to rise and couples who struggle with fertility issues are increasingly able to conceive with artificial help. The Glow app is still in development, but when launched will be available for iPhone. Article: 31st May 2013 www.telegraph.co.uk Read more about pregnancy fertility monitors at www.prideangel.com