Pride Angel Journey - Hunter-Gatherer Aspirations

It was Christmas and I was twenty-two weeks gone when I decided that we’d timed this pregnancy perfectly (I say ‘we’ – of course aside from putting the raw ingredients together and hoping for the best, ‘we’ can hardly take the credit for my body deciding it was about time to have a go at the baby thing). Anyway, the timing was certainly perfect: thick support tights aimed at preventing varicose veins were ideal for the frosty wintery weather; I‘d been over the sickness long enough to regain a hearty appetite for my Christmas dinner and I was still comfortable enough at night to sleep on a blow-up mattress at the family get-together, after watching the Christmas Special of Call the Midwife. It had made a change that morning to put on my black JoJo Maman Bébé maternity dress – one of the few maternity items I’d actually bought. Aware that university tuition fees were looming (well, in eighteen years or so) we’d been keen to save money, and a friend had kindly leant me a stack of clothes. Still, I spent the best part of six months alternating mostly between four pairs of maternity trousers: jeans, tracksuit bottoms, work trousers and pyjamas. So it was nice to put on a dress for a change, and to show off the nifty breastfeeding feeding holes which were revealed when you loosened the waist ties. And with Christmas came of course the reminder of how much more fun it would be next year. In my family, Christmas had been for far too long an adult affair. It was hard to imagine it any other way and, so inexperienced where babies were concerned, we wondered how exactly it would change: what would our little person – this little creature which squirmed and shuddered under my skin – be doing next December? Could eight-month-olds eat mince pies or open presents or have any real idea of what was going on? We didn’t know. We were still reading the pregnancy books and hadn’t quite made it on to the parenting ones. Somehow, in addition to the more mainstream titles we’d ploughed through, my partner, Sally (who was always two or three books ahead of me, and thus by far the better informed regarding this whole pregnancy lark) came across a publication entitled Immaculate Deception II: Myth, Magic & Birth. We knew from watching One Born Every Minute that some of the book’s claims were now rather dated – enemas and pubic shaving are no longer the order of the day, and you aren’t automatically drugged as high as a pile of nappies and hitched up into stirrups with four gown-wearing doctors brandishing forceps and peering at your nether regions. Nevertheless, it certainly showed us the benefits of aiming for a more natural approach: limited use of drugs, a midwife-led, active birth. A calm and gentle welcome to the world for our baby. I could see the point of those birthing pools and stools: squatting and groaning, rather than lying flat on a bed and screaming was perhaps how our bodies had been designed to deal with this. I was reminded of how a cat or dog will go off to find a quiet, safe place to snuggle down and give birth – surely this, and not furnishing the spare room with a Mamas and Papas furniture set in Light Oak, is ‘nesting’. The book encouraged me to think about what our ancestors must have done – not our mothers and grandmothers, but our Hunter-Gatherer ancestors. They managed without the medics – not all of them of course – childbirth must have been a very risky business. But enough of them managed – well, we’re here now, aren’t we? I interrogated friends who already had children and listened to one birthing horror story after another: tales of non-progressing labours, anaesthetists busy elsewhere, epidurals not working, morphine and forceps and third degree tears. And while of course I knew how grateful we are to those medics when an emergency caesarean saves two lives, I wondered how feasible it was to hope for a natural birth. I would probably only get one opportunity to do this thing – this fundamental process of birthing, for which my body had been designed. And somehow, I wanted to acknowledge all those Hunter-Gatherer mothers of yore who slipped off into a quiet corner of the forest without drugs, hospitals or anything but a knowledge passed on time and again, one woman to the next. Part of me felt I could do this, I could be that Hunter-Gatherer woman, squatting in the forest – nowadays we aren’t as physically fit as they would have been, or as accustomed to manual labour, but I was healthy enough. How can pain relief be so essential in a normal childbirth when we’ve only really had it in the last one hundred years? But would my pain threshold be too low to cope? And if there were complications, was there a way of preventing one intervention from leading to another? Did the best laid birth plans of mice and birthing women gang aft to pethidine? Meanwhile it was January and the pelvic pain that was starting to set in was tempered with the knowledge that maternity leave was now only a school term away. But, at the end of a silent corridor of a school after home-time, rooting around in a dusty old storeroom, unearthing cobwebbed textbooks from ancient shelves, it occurred to me that perhaps this was the quiet spot my Hunter-Gatherer woman would have chosen. Article: by Lindsey, West Yorkshire 30th August 2013 Read more personal stories from our Pride Angel Journey at www.prideangel.com

Coming out of the closet: Why we need National Infertility Awareness Week: October 28 – November 3 2013 Although 1 in 6 couples in the UK today – that’s around 3.5 million people – face a range of problems trying to conceive a child, many still don’t wish to share the heartache with others and tell people that they are undergoing some sort of fertility treatment. Infertility is one of the last great cultural taboos. National Infertility Awareness Week has been launched by patient charity Infertility Network UK, which wants to make this a HUGE annual event and see everyone involved in fertility taking part in some way. It’s time to bring infertility out of the closet and push it much higher up the medical, social and political agenda. For the first time ever, National Infertility Awareness Week will provide a dedicated and specific focus for the millions of women and men fighting this often misunderstood illness, and an opportunity for the doctors, healthcare professionals, psychologists and politicians to promote greater awareness about infertility. And even if you’re not directly affected by infertility, chances are you will know someone, work with someone, or be friends with someone who is. And that’s a lot of people who are touched in some way. We’re on a mission to end the isolation and secrecy of infertility and we need you to support us in whatever ways you can. So join us and get behind National Infertility Awareness Week! With 1 in 6 people in the UK struggling to conceive, we need to raise the awareness though the roof. The aim of National Infertility Awareness Week is, quite simply to: • Highlight the extent and impact infertility has on people’s lives • Explain what options exist for people struggling to conceive • Change the conversation and get more people talking about infertility The fertility challenged should not feel ashamed: it’s not always easy to have a baby and there’s no shame in that! Only be raising awareness, spreading the word and bringing infertility out of the closet will people feel more comfortable discussing this illness. We have great plans for this week, which will end with the biggest event in the UK fertility calendar: The Fertility Show on November 2-3. We will be hosting a number of activities during the week, both online and off, for anyone who wants to take part. Most activities focus on advocacy and public education but we are aiming to have some fun, especially with our ‘Great Cake Bake’. We are asking people to bake cupcakes and sell them to workmates, friends and family to raise funds for us. Maybe have a coffee morning, or just meet up with a few friends, ask them to make a small donation to I N UK and enjoy the cake! We also have over 100 professional cake bakers on board who are supporting this wonderful event. If you are hosting a cake bake then please let us know; contact the team at admin@infertilitynetworkuk.com who will send you a ‘Great Cake Bake’ pack with a poster and a sheet of rice paper cake toppers which you may like to use the decorate your cakes. We can also add you to our events page on the website www.niaw.org.uk and please remember to send us some photos of your event so we can put those on the website too! This week will also be a focal point for our Talking about Trying campaign, www.infertilitynetworkuk.com/talking_about_trying so there are lots of reasons to join in. Visit our awareness week website at www.niaw.org.uk and see how you can get involved. Whatever you do, please DO SOMETHING and let’s put National Infertility Awareness Week on the map. Article: 28th August 2013 www.infertilitynetworkuk.com Read more about fertility and parenting options at www.prideangel.com

Another succesful Manchester Pride Event 2013

On Saturday, the streets of Manchester were lined with thousands of people for the spectacular Manchester Pride parade. The city was a riot of colour and noise as the rainbow flags stayed high, and around a hundred different floats paraded down Deansgate, through Manchester, and into the Gay Village. Community groups were joined by hundreds of police officers, firefighters, NHS workers. Dozens of students, church groups, sports teams and city businesses also joined in the celebrations. John Stewart, Manchester Pride's chief executive, said: "It's great to be able to share our celebration of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender life with the whole city and recognise the contribution that LGBT people make to the spirit and diversity of Greater Manchester. "This year's parade was one of the biggest, with over 100 entries from 99 groups and organisations including lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community groups, charities and businesses, trades unions, political parties, public sector organisations and some of the country's biggest businesses. The indoor arena was also a huge success with thousands flocking in for the evening high energy dance experience. By day the Lifestyle Expo was popular with thousands of people chatting to organisations and charities such as the Lesbian and gay foundation, Outdoor Lads and Pride Angel. Erika co-founder of Pride Angel said 'This year was fantastic in the fact that we had so many more success stories. We had four couples who came up to speak with us to tell us their good news, that they had conceived with a donor through Pride Angel. It is always rewarding for us to hear such exciting news'. Read more about finding a sperm donor or co-parent at www.prideangel.com

http://blogs.prideangel.com/post/2013/08/Manchester-Pride---New-Arena-area-launches-24th---26th-August-2013.aspx

Come and join Manchester Pride's Big Weekend - one of the biggest parties in the UK. From Friday 23 to Monday 26 August, tens of thousands of people descend upon Manchester's world-renowned Gay Village to celebrate the climax of the Manchester Pride’s festival. By day, our stages are packed full of world-class entertainment as well as our diverse collection of market & Lifestyle Expo stalls. By night, join us in the newly launched Indoor Arena for some hot DJ sets or visit some of Manchester's exciting gay bars and clubs as.s they take you through to the early hours of the morning with events that will make you wish the Big Weekend never came to an end. MAIN ARENA This year will again see some big names and fantastic entertainment that will be announced during the Summer. The Feeling will be opening the stage on Friday 23 August, supported by Velvet Stream. Rylan and Lucy Spraggan will be taking over on Monday 26 August for our revamped reality special. SACKVILLE GARDENS A visit to the Sackville Gardens stage is a great chance to socialise with people who share a common interest while being surrounded by local bands, local groups and local entertainment. It’s your community, and this is your stage. On Saturday evening, the stage plays host to the very popular Women's Stage. INDOOR ARENA New for 2013, we launch the Indoor Arena. During the day, the venue will house Lifestyle Expo, an exhibition space designed for you to access resources and information about community groups, your health, sports clubs, legal advice, travel and much more. By night the space is transformed into a high-energy dance arena. VILLAGE MARKETS Looking to pick up a souvenir to remind you of your Manchester Pride visit? There's over 40 traders on site at the Village Markets selling everything from the latest fashions to rainbow flags. You're sure to find something there to take home with you. Article: 23rd August 2013 www.manchesterpride.com Come and speak to Pride Angel about your parenting options, in the new indoor arena.

UK woman conceives abroad with her dead husband's sperm

The press has reported the case of a UK woman who has won permission from the HFEA to have her deceased husband’s sperm exported abroad for IVF treatment after his death. You can read more about the story here. How does UK law work on post-death use of sperm? The rules in the UK are clear – there must be written (and signed) consent from the sperm provider allowing the post death use of his sperm in treatment. In this case, the man’s sperm was extracted surgically after he was already in a coma he never recovered from. His wife therefore did not have the written signed consent she needed for treatment to take place in the UK, although she maintained that IVF was always their plan and that Mr H would have wanted her to have a child in these circumstances. How did Mrs H get permission to use Mr H’s sperm? In the absence of being able to conceive through IVF in the UK, another option was to export the sperm to another destination where the consent rules were not so stringent. There is tight regulation of the circumstances in which sperm can be exported, and Mrs H therefore had to seek a ‘special direction’ from the HFEA giving her permission to do it. She was given that permission and this enabled her to export her husband’s sperm and undergo fertility treatment abroad. She is currently awaiting pregnancy test results. Why is this a ‘ground-breaking’ case and did Mrs H break the law? This case marks the first occasion that the HFEA, under such circumstances, has awarded a ‘special direction’ without the intervention of the court. Having followed in the footsteps of the well know case of Diane Blood (who successfully won the right, through the Court of Appeal, to export her deceased husband’s sperm abroad – leading to the birth of two children), the HFEA undoubtedly considered the principles of that case and what it said about the need to consider the human rights of all those involved. The decision over whether to give a special direction is discretionary and something for the HFEA to assess individually in each particular case. Previous cases do not create a formal precedent, but they are influential. Mrs H therefore did not break the law, having sought permission as the law required her to do, and having been given it. We congratulate her resolve and wish her the very best in conceiving. There is more information about the law on the storage and use of gametes here. Article: 21st August 2013 www.nataliegambleassociates.co.uk Read more about fertility law at www.prideangel.com

Sperm donor's experience of donating to lesbian friends

The first time I saw my baby daughter, my initial reaction was surprise. It was as if someone had taken a knitted version of me and shrunk it in the dryer. Despite the family resemblance, I didn't feel a paternal connection; instead, I was happy I had been able to help my close friends start a family. On the day my friends, a lesbian couple, asked if I would donate sperm, I was delighted. I didn't think about the reality of what that would entail; I just impulsively said yes. In fact, I was grateful to be asked. Incredibly, my friend became pregnant on that first attempt. I was overjoyed. As a gay man, I had been programmed to believe that this wasn't part of my narrative. Now, though, this pregnancy was exploding the myth that I could never be a father, and it was wonderful. But five months later, my friend miscarried and I felt responsible, as if it was my fault. We sat down and had a lovely talk where they reassured me and we decided to wait before trying again. It took me three or four months to allow myself to say I had lost a baby. As the donor, I didn't know if I had permission to grieve: they had been watching their baby grow, while I was peripheral. It was a growing-up moment: life had been all fun and games up till then, and now I realised there were consequences to my actions. A few months later, we all felt ready to try again. It took longer for my friend to become pregnant this time, and I worried that it wouldn't happen; that I'd lost my powers. We settled into a monthly routine and I became less embarrassed about the process. I'd go round to my friends' house, we'd have some tea and a chat, which we called our pillow talk, and then they'd go for a walk and leave me to it. But I did grow tired of having to dash round as soon as I received a text saying my friend was fertile, so after a while she'd come to my home instead to pick up the donation, wrapped in a brown paper bag. It felt like a drug deal. To keep the sperm at the right temperature, she'd store it in her bra for the journey home. I used to try to hide what I was doing from my partner, Matt: the text would arrive and I'd slope off to the bathroom, saying I was just brushing my teeth. He'd always guess, though. I'd met Matt just when we began the process, and meeting someone when you're starting a family with someone else is complicated. It took a while before we could talk about what was going on. Finally, my friend conceived and the pregnancy progressed well. Just before the birth, my friends held a baby shower, which I found unexpectedly painful. Despite the efforts of the mums to include me, and despite being thanked by the grandparents, I found myself sobbing on the floor afterwards. I was still an outsider; it wasn't about me. I was physically having a baby, but I wasn't part of it. On the day of the birth, last October, I was like a father from the 1950s, but instead of pacing the corridor, I was walking on the treadmill at the gym. After the baby was born, I couldn't tell people without welling up. I never thought I would be announcing to everyone, "I have a child." It was also time to tell my parents, because they hadn't known they were going to be grandparents. They had written off having grandchildren, so they were over the moon. I think they also felt relieved. As parents of a gay child, they had worried I would struggle, but now that I am a father, I must be OK. We also have a new topic of conversation, one I never thought I'd be party to. It has been a rollercoaster two years, but writing a comedy show about it has been good therapy. I'd be willing to do it again if my friends wanted another child. The baby is now 10 months old, and although I see her regularly, I'm certainly not "Dad". I'm Shawn. But we will always be open about my connection to her. I don't want a "Darth Vader moment" when she's older. It's important for her to know that she was born in a special way, and that her arrival helped to change ideas of what a family can be. Article: 19th August 2013 www.guardian.co.uk

Big breakfasts could help women with PCOS improve their fertiliy

Researchers from the University of Tel Aviv say that women with polycystic ovarian syndrome who control insulin levels - by increasing calories at breakfast and decreasing them at dinner - can improve their fertility. The research was led by Prof. Daniela Jakubowicz, who notes that most women with PCOS are typically "insulin resistant," meaning that their bodies produce too much insulin, which eventually goes to the ovaries and prompts the production of testosterone, decreasing fertility. She explains that doctors oftentimes suggest weight loss for overweight women with PCOS in order to manage their insulin levels, but many women with the condition and fertility issues related to it are not overweight. In the study, 60 women with polycystic ovarian syndrome and a normal body mass index (BMI) were assigned randomly to one of two groups: Big breakfast group - consumed a 980 calorie breakfast, 640 calorie lunch and a 190 calorie dinner Big dinner group - consumed a 190 calorie breakfast, 640 calorie lunch and a 980 calorie dinner. Both groups consumed a total of 1,800 calories each day and were tested after 90 days for insulin, glucose and testosterone levels. Ovulation and menstruation information was also analyzed. Results showed that though neither group experienced a change in BMI, the big dinner group still had high levels of insulin and testosterone. By contrast, the big breakfast group showed 56% less insulin resistance, as well as a 50% fall in testosterone levels. Additionally, the reduction of insulin and testosterone levels in the big breakfast group led to a 50% rise in ovulation rate. Improvement in other PCOS symptoms Prof. Jakubowicz says this meal plan - eating more in the morning and less in the evening - follows the body's 24-hour metabolic cycle. She says this diet is not about "weight loss but insulin management." For women who have PCOS but are not trying to get pregnant, eating according to the big breakfast guidelines could help with "other symptoms associated with the disorder," such as unwanted body hair, oily hair, hair loss and acne. In addition, the researchers say that following the big breakfast diet could prevent the development of type-2 diabetes. They note that since polycystic ovarian syndrome also impacts in vitro fertilization treatments and increases risk of miscarriage, managing insulin levels could be a way to help with fertility across the board. Prof. Jakubowicz and colleagues published another similar study recently, which suggested eating a big breakfast of 700 calories promotes weight loss and reduces risks for diabetes, heart disease and high cholesterol - see: 'Big breakfast healthier than a big dinner'. Article: 17th August 2013 www.medicalnewstoday.com Read more about boosting fertility at www.prideangel.com

Sperm Donor fights for right to be a Dad in California

The actor Jason Patric wants to be a Dad. The mother of his biological child, 3-year-old Gus, wants him to just be a sperm donor. Who wins? If I taught family law, I’d make this case my last class of the semester, because it’s right at the edge of a frontier of parenthood that courts and states haven’t settled yet. It also scrambles the usual assumptions. Traditionally, it is fathers who have run from parental responsibilities and mothers who have tried to hold them accountable, often to win child support. I’m not talking about most fathers, of course, just the ones who essentially say they got tricked—they just gave sperm, or they just had sex, and didn’t intend to become fathers at all. In this case, Patric wants a relationship with his biological son, and it’s Gus’ mother, Danielle Schreiber, who is asking the courts to turn him away. It’s a different entry point into an old fight. But Schreiber’s stance shouldn’t change the underlying rule: Unless both biological parents agree before birth that the father has no rights at all, courts should presume that he is indeed the father, not just some guy who ejaculated into a cup. Patric and his ex-girlfriend, Schreiber, conceived Gus via in vitro fertilization. Patric says he spent time with Gus after the boy was born, until Schreiber cut him out. He has pictures to prove it. “I want my son back,” he told Katie Couric. He says he was there from the start and signed a document stating that he was Gus’ “intended parent.” Schreiber say that Gus was conceived after she and Patric broke up, and that neither of them intended him to be the boy’s father. “It's not about him having a relationship or contact with Gus. This is just about rights,” she said, also on TV. “Me preserving my right to be a sole legal parent, not having to share that with someone who has never intended to and never raised Gus.” So far, Patric is losing. A California court ruled that he has no parental rights. The judge interpreted state law to provide that if a man isn’t married to the mother of his biological child, and gives her his sperm, then the general rule is that he has no paternity rights. It doesn’t matter whether he spent time with the baby afterward—or what might be best for the child. If you think about it, that’s pretty shocking. Usually, family law presumes that two parents are better than one, University of Florida law professor Lee-Ford Tritt pointed out when I called him to talk about this case. That way, a child has two sources of love and income. The two-parent rule doesn’t apply to anonymous sperm donors—no one would donate if it did. Also, if the sperm donor is someone the mother knows, the parents should be able to contract away his parental rights if that’s what they want. Otherwise, it will be harder for women to go to men they know for sperm, and that’s not a good outcome. Sometimes children are better off knowing who their fathers are, even if the fathers aren’t legally responsible for them. The law should allow for different kinds of donors and family constellations. But if there’s no clear agreement between the parents, then the law should go back to presuming that the genetic father should be treated as the real father. The judge who ruled against Patric did the opposite. He’s saying, in effect, that Schreiber gets to decide to bar Patric from any kind of parental involvement. We’re not talking about whether Patric gets to raise Gus—that’s a separate custody issue—just about whether he has any leg to stand on in court proceedings about Gus at all. Why should this decision about Gus’ parenthood be up to his mother alone, without any consideration of how Patric behaved toward Gus, and whether Gus would be better off with Patric in his life? Courts should, and often do, ask a different question: Has the father “held out” a child as his own? That’s the legal term of art for a test that looks at the father’s relationship to the child. Did Patric spend time with Gus or pay for any of his care? Did he acknowledge him as his son? “Holding out a child as one’s own is huge in the courts for determining parental rights,” Tritt says. That’s not how current California law works, however. It provides that a sperm donor, to a bank or for IVF involving a woman other than his wife, “is treated in law as if he were not the natural father of a child thereby conceived, unless otherwise agreed to in a writing signed by the donor and the woman prior to the conception of the child.” Article: 14th August 2013 www.slate.com

Equal gay marriage has been passed in law in England and Wales

Following our blog earlier in the year where we reported on the progress of the Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Bill we are delighted that the Bill has now received royal assent. After much debate and somewhat of a furore, this means that same sex marriage is now law, even though the first UK same sex marriages won’t take place until Spring 2014 once all the procedures and paperwork have been put in place. Perhaps unsurprisingly there is some confusion around what the changes in the law actually mean. The key points to note are as follows: 1.It will be legal for couples of the same sex to marry in England in Wales. 2.Same sex couples can have a civil or religious wedding, but can only have a religious wedding if the relevant religious group decides to ‘opt in’ (which every religious group except the Church of England can do). 3.Civil partnership will remain an option for same sex, but not heterosexual, couples. (The legal differences between marriage and civil partnership are minimal in practice). 4.Same sex couples already in a civil partnership can convert their civil partnership into a marriage if it was registered in England and Wales. This will not apply to couples who registered a civil partnership in Northern Ireland, Scotland or abroad (who will not be able to marry unless they dissolve their civil partnership first). 5.For those splitting up, adultery is not a ground for dissolving a civil partnership and is only a ground for dissolving a same sex marriage if the adultery takes place with a member of the opposite sex (although in practice unreasonable behaviour usually gives grounds for dissolving a relationship where there has been infidelity anyway). 6.There is no international harmonisation of how or if a same sex marriage will be recognised in other countries. However, it is likely that a same sex marriage will be recognised in countries where same sex marriage is legal (such as France which has recently undergone similar changes). The change in the law is certainly welcomed by us at NGA but the rules are undoubtedly complex. There has already been controversy over the decision to allow religious groups to opt in but this doesn’t apply to the Church of England. It seems an awkward concept that same sex couples are to be able to enter into a civil partnership but for there to be no option for heterosexual couples to do likewise. There will be complex questions from couples in England and Wales who have married or registered a civil partnership abroad as to how their relationship will be recognised in England and Wales. Similarly, relocating couples will need to know whether their marriage will be recognised abroad. This will impact on issues such as tax planning or the breakdown of the relationship. Much like with our campaigning work for a global harmonisation of surrogacy laws we feel that a more universal approach to same sex marriage is needed, but this is herculean task at a global level. In the meantime, UK same sex marriage is a huge step in the right direction. Here at NGA we specialise in helping alternative families and have a strong background in cases involving the breakdown of relationships. We help with civil partnership dissolution, divorce and disputes relating to children and financial matters. We also help with pre registration and pre nuptial agreements to give clarity and prevent disputes in the future. If you would like to discuss your circumstances with us please contact Richard Perrins for more information. Article: 13th August 2013 www.nataliegambleassociates.co.uk Read more about gay parenting at www.prideangel.com

Coming out of the infertility closet

Although one-in-six U.S. couples face problems conceiving, many still feel funny telling others that they are undergoing treatment. In fact, infertility is one of the last great cultural taboos. One survey of infertile couples conducted by the pharmaceutical companies Schering-Plough and Merck found that 61% hid their infertility from family and friends, and half didn’t share it with their mothers. Why the secrecy? The study also found that seven-in-10 women admitted that being infertile made them feel “flawed,” and half of men reported feeling “inadequate.” It’s no wonder then that talk show host Jimmy Fallon waited two weeks after the birth of his daughter Winnie Rose to reveal that she was carried by a surrogate. “My wife and I had been trying for a while to have a baby,” Fallon told Today’s Savannah Guthrie Friday morning. “We tried a bunch of things. So we had a surrogate.” Fallon’s openness came as a surprise, considering that most celebrities have been notoriously mum on the subject. Who can blame them? Remember all the rampant speculating about whether Kate Middleton had infertility problems? And—gasp!—was Baby George conceived via IVF? We should applaud Fallon—along with his wife and other high-profile women willing to share their stories—for going public with facts so many would prefer to keep hidden. Article: 11th August 2013 www.ideas.time.com Read more...

Hollywood sperm donor fights for parental rights to see his son

An unusual battle is developing in the state capital as a Hollywood father fights for parental rights. That dad says he was more than just a sperm donor, but hasn't seen the child in months. Men who sell their sperm to a sperm bank lose all parental rights, but what if he gives it to someone he knows? Is he a donor or a dad? Jason Patric is an actor from the 1987 teen vampire film "Lost Boys". On Wednesday Patric told us, "My son was stolen, was taken away." Now he has a starring role in what could be a reality show. The 47-year-old is in Sacramento lobbying politicians for a proposal that allows the law to define him as a dad. A court has already ruled he's just a sperm donor. "Because you're a donor, you are not allowed to prove in any other statute or any other way, you're a parent, even though I'm the biological father," said Patric. Patric's drama started when he and his former girlfriend, Danielle Schreiber, agreed to have a child through artificial insemination. He was even a part of his son's life for more than two years. The actor could have been considered the legal father if a signed agreement granting him that status was in place prior to conception. After a split and no legally binding contract in place, he lost custody and hasn't seen the now 3-year-old for months. St. Sen. Jerry Hill, D-San Mateo, doesn't like what he calls "the Hollywood circus" his bill has created. He just wants to help men and same-sex couples who have been in that situation. "Because of the PR hype, it has lost its focus. To me the focus is parenting. What's in the best interest of the child?" said Hill. Calls to Schreiber's Sacramento representative were not returned, but the California Cryobank is also opposed to changing the 25-year-old law that protects birth mothers from custody battles. Alice Crisci, who is eight months pregnant through an anonymous donor, says we shouldn't get in the middle of a court battle. "The reality is he's seeking to impact a few number of men that then disrupts tens of thousands of families. That seems like an irresponsible use of creating new laws," said Crisci. Patric insists Hill's proposal just gives him and others a fighting chance to be part of their child's life. "This doesn't give you your son back, your daughter back. It gives you the opportunity to go to court and present your evidence," said Patric. Schreiber attorney recently told ABC7 News they hope lawmakers do not interfere with the rights they were promised. Article: 7th August 2013 www.abclocal.go.com Read more about sperm donor law in the UK at www.prideangel.com

Yotam Ottolenghi on becoming a gay dad through surrogacy

Hoorah for NGA client Yotam Ottolenghi and his wonderfully heartfelt piece in Saturday’s Guardian: 'Why I’m coming out as a gay father'. In a brave and personal editorial, the renowned TV chef and restarauter has spoken out about his long journey to fatherhood as a gay man, and how becoming a father has enabled him to reconcile himself to a new openness about his sexuality. He says: “At the end of a five-year process, I know we can’t be shy about telling our story, that privacy just isn’t an option. That’s because we could only have had Max, and hopefully also a future sibling, thanks to other people who have shared their stories. Max has already brought us immense joy. He has also forced our second coming out, this time as gay parents.” We salute his bravery in coming out to the world about such incredibly personal issues. We have been privileged to share his journey (as his legal advisors), which has taken him through the option of co-parenting to international surrogacy and the birth of his son Max earlier this year. We know it takes brave men like Yotam willing to talk about their experience to inspire others that it can be done, and to enable them to feel comfortable about their choices. The good news, from a legal perspective, is that the options for gay men to become fathers have never been better than they are now. Since 2010, gay men who conceive with a surrogate mother have been able to apply to the family court for a parental order. This ultimately gives them a UK birth certificate naming them both as parents. It is a legal solution for gay dads who conceive through surrogacy in the UK and abroad, and it fully resolves all the UK legal issues. Surrogacy in the UK is often more achievable than people realise, but many gay dads, like Yotam, are also going to the US where a more professional and managed surrogacy service is available. There has developed a significant track record over the past five years of the UK High Court authorising such arrangements (even though they involve commercial surrogacy arrangements), case law which we have been proud to have helped shape. Since 2005, gay men have been able to adopt as couples, with just the same rights as heterosexual couples. They have full and equal parental status and an adoption certificate to confirm it. And there is the option of co-parenting. Here the law is more complex, and in particular gay couples who donate sperm to lesbian couples may have no legal status as parents if the birth mother is in a civil partnership. But these arrangements work too, and there are legal solutions available. The climate has never been better for gay dads to start a family than it is now, and we hope that other gay men will draw courage from Yotam’s story.

Reality show winner meets children he fathered 24 years ago as a donor

He is best known for as the villainous winner of the reality series Survivor, and subsequently going to prison for tax evasion. But before he rose to fame bagging the $1million prize on the show, Richard Hatch was a young college student who needed to make ends meet. On a recent episode of Oprah: Where Are They Now? Hatch talked about his younger days as a sperm donor, and meets up with two of his biological children who had got in contact with him. Emily and Devin, both 24, found their biological dad through the Donor Sibling Registry and their meeting was filmed for the show broadcast on Oprah Winfrey's OWN Network. However, it had already been revealed back in 2011 before he served jail time for tax evasion that his two children had come forward. But Hatch, 52, has now revealed that he was paid approximately $40 per donation around three times a week for two years, admitting: 'there are probably more.' 'I'm open to, interested in, would be excited about meeting any of them who were interested in meeting me,' he says. Considering the possibility of how many more children that are his, he said: 'I don't spend a lot of time thinking about how many children I may have fathered.' Hatch added: 'I have no way of knowing. I will never have any way of knowing. It seems kind of fruitless to me.' The former reality star also talks about adopting a son named Chris in 1998 and later serving jail time for tax evasion, which he claims he did not do. Hatch was freed from prison in December 2011 on a tax evasion sentence tied to his $1 million Survivor winnings. The star was released from prison for violating the terms of his supervised release in the long-running case. He first brought up the subject of his sperm donation shortly before entering prison, admitting that he had met a 22-year-old biological son who is living in New Jersey. 'It was additionally challenging to be wrongfully imprisoned knowing that these children were coming forward,' Hatch said at the time. 'I told the court that beforehand. I explained this is a fascinating time in my life when I was at a place where I wanted to get to know these people who are my children who have come forward and want to get to know me.' Oprah: Where Are They Now? airs Sundays at 10 p.m. ET on OWN. Article: 30th July 2013 www.dailymail.co.uk

Sperm donor to pay child support after donating by natural insemination

A UK man who donated sperm to a married woman he met via a sperm donor website has been ordered to pay child support. The pair met via a website advertising sperm donors and started trying to conceive artificially, before they began an affair. The High Court heard evidence from both sides and rejected the man’s evidence that the couple only started having sex after the child was conceived, finding that the child was conceived through ‘natural insemination’ – in other words sexual intercourse – rather than through artificial insemination. This meant that the donor was not legally a sperm donor, and so like any other biological father was liable to pay child support. In a rare move for a children case, he was also ordered to pay all the legal costs of the woman’s husband and three quarter’s of the woman’s legal costs, since the court decided he had not told the truth. What makes a legal sperm donor? Men who agree to donate their sperm are not protected from financial responsibilities just because they agree this with the birth mother or describe themselves as a donor. They are only sheltered from financial claims if they: 1) donate via a UK licensed clinic, or 2) donate by artificial insemination to a married or civilly partnered couple, with the consent of both partners. In this case, the birth mother was married. Had the court decided that conception took place by artificial insemination, it would next have had to determine whether the birth mother’s husband consented (and if so he, rather than the sperm donor, would have been the child’s legal father). However, given that conception occurred through intercourse, there was no need to go to the next step, and the sperm donor was financially responsible. Lessons for other sperm donors The case shows the risks of conceiving through donation outside the framework of regulated treatment at clinics. It’s been an expensive lesson for the donor in this case. Other men considering donating via websites should be clear about how the law works, and whether their plans might put them on the hook financially. If they donate via ‘NI’ they can forget any legal protection whatsoever. There is more information about known sperm donation on our website. You can read the judgment in this case in full here. Article: 1st August 2013 www.nataliegambleassociates.co.uk