Saturday, 14 November 2015

Chinese or oriental origin? Can you help by donating eggs to a couple in need?

Dear All,
We are fervently searching for an altruistic egg donor who is willing to be known and contactable when the child reaches 18, or to keep in touch before then, if everyone is happy to. I am Singapore Chinese but we’d be happy to hear from donors of any oriental background, or perhaps South America, Tibet, Himalayas, where people have similar characteristics.
We didn't get married until I was 41 and started trying at 42. We spent much time and savings trying IVF six times with four different clinics, including Array CGH. We also needed ICSI. The last time we tried was in March 2010, when I was 45. This contributed to a toll on our marriage and we had couples counselling that year.
I think some people who suggest adoption rather than egg donation don’t understand the feeling of wanting to physically connect - I was adopted at birth by western parents, so had been brought up missing all the genetic family comparisons. It felt like a twisted blow when I realised I couldn’t have a child of my own to share my character traits with either. At least if we have egg donation my husband’s genes would be there and I’d dearly like to give birth to the child myself rather than use a surrogate.
We have visited all of the stalls at the London Fertility Show but most clinics only use anonymous donors and there are never any oriental ones there. It’s hard for us to sign up to these as we think it better if the child is given the opportunity to know who their biological parent is and what the circumstances are.
There is a demand for oriental egg donors but traditional Chinese do not believe in donating body parts and some donor agencies want endless fees. We went to Thailand and the US to speak to clinics and agents however we found it all very commercial. We’d rather someone donated who really wants to help and doesn’t see it as a regular income; also donating too often may not be good for the donor’s own welfare, although some agencies encourage it.
Life has whizzed by and I’m now fifty, fit and healthy as far as I know but on the edge of time for acceptance into UK clinics. Dear husband is forty-two.
We are praying and hoping there is someone out there who can donate or egg share, where perhaps they need someone to help pay the costs of their own IVF treatment. That could be us? We’d love to speak to you if you feel you can genuinely help. We are registered with the lovely Pride Angel if you’d like to contact us - our photo is also posted there.
Kind regards,

Wednesday, 4 November 2015

Are you a lesbian mum? Did you egg share with your partner?

ARE YOU A LESBIAN MOTHER?
DID YOU AND YOUR PARTNER CONCEIVE THROUGH IVF?
DID YOU SHARE YOUR EGG WITH YOUR PARTNER, WHO CARRIED YOUR PREGNANCY?
IF YOU CONCEIVED THROUGH INTRA-PARTNER EGG SHARING (ALSO KNOWN AS RECIPROCAL IVF), YOUR CHILD IS OVER THE AGE OF ONE AND YOU ARE WILLING TO SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCES OF BECOMING A MOTHER, I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU!
My name is Laura Bottomley and I am doing this research project as part of my doctorate in Counselling Psychology at City University. It is supervised by Dr Deborah Rafalin, Registered Psychologist and Senior Lecturer (D.Rafalin@city.ac.uk).
Participating in this research will involve meeting with me for approximately 1½ – 2 hours, to share and discuss your experiences of becoming a mother. I hope that sharing your story in a safe and supportive environment will be a positive experience for you, that allows your voice to be heard and you the space to think about and process this important period in your life. I further hope that your willingness to share your experiences will benefit other women who conceive their families in this way, and that this knowledge that you are helping others will be rewarding for you. I hope that through sharing your story and illuminating some of the challenges and joys these women may face, their friends, families and the services and professionals involved during this period will be better informed and therefore better able to support them and meet their needs.
Please know that your participation in the research will be kept confidential and no information that could lead to the identification of any individual will be disclosed in any reports on the research or to any other party.
If you are interested in sharing your story, or would like to find out more, please give me a call/text on 07951 893 443, or email me at: laura.bottomley.1@city.ac.uk
This study has been reviewed by, and received ethics clearance through the City University London Psychology Department Research Ethics Committee, City University London [Ref: PSYETH (P/L) 15/16 04].
If you would like to complain about any aspect of the study, please contact the Secretary to the University’s Senate Research Ethics Committee on 020 7040 3040 or via email: Anna.Ramberg.1@city.ac.uk
Read more about lesbian parenting options at www.prideangel.com