LGBT families and children can benefit from picture books designed for them

LGBT families and children can benefit from picture books that are designed to cater for them. I once asked a lesbian I know who is raising children with her wife what her favourite LGBTQ picture books were. She told me she didn’t have any. I wondered why not and she replied, “Because my kids can see their lesbian mums at home. They don’t need to read about it, too.” This answer shocked me, because we know that children want and need to see reflections of themselves and their families in the books they read (and also in the TV shows and films they watch). If they don’t see people who are like them, they begin to worry if they are abnormal, or if something is wrong with themselves or their families. They may also feel lonely and scared. Families with two mums or two dads have generally thought a lot about how to make and raise their children and also about how to explain their family set-ups to their kids. They generally have a sense of when it might be appropriate to tell their kids about, say, surrogates or sperm donors, or how to explain adoption or in-vitro fertilisation. But they don’t always know what to do beyond the factual level. And this is where fiction comes in. Fiction is a wonderful tool that lets readers of all ages learn and try out new experiences and ideas, but it also helps readers feel comforted or entertained. For children of LGBTQ parents, literature helps them realise just how normal and acceptable their families are. For example, the children of the lesbian I previously mentioned might not know any other kids with two mums or two dads, and they might worry that their family is weird or is something to be ashamed of. If they had access to books that featured other families like theirs, they would know that they aren’t the only children to have two mums or the only children to have been created using sperm from a donor who deposited at a fertility clinic. Literature would connect them to other people who are like them, and this would give them confidence about their lives and their situations. So what are some of the best LGBTQ picture books? Not all of them feature LGBTQ parents, but even the ones that don’t will help remind children that there is nothing immoral or strange about being LGBTQ and also that LGBTQ people have lives that aren’t so different from heterosexual or cisgender lives. Here are a few of my favourites: Donovan’s Big Day by Lesléa Newman: Newman is arguably the preeminent author of LGBTQ books for children and some of her other texts are worth getting too (such as Mommy, Mama, and ME). In this book, Donovan has an important role to play in his mothers’ wedding. There is no need for Newman to explain why Donovan has two mums or why they are getting married; rather, it is just assumed that this is normal and acceptable, which is a great step forward for children’s literature. This book works well because it focuses on Donovan and his experiences on this big day. The Purim Superhero by Elisabeth Kushner: Nate wants to be an alien in the Purim costume parade, but all the other boys are dressing as superheroes. His two fathers and sister encourage him to be himself and to do what he wants, but he worries he will feel too different if he does. As in Newman’s book, Kushner does not defend or explain Nate’s family set-up and instead just talks about Nate’s feelings regarding fitting in. It is also a useful book because it is one of the few LGBTQ books to feature a character who isn’t Christian. 10,000 Dresses by Marcus Ewert: This is one of the very few picture books to feature the T in LGBTQ. Bailey dreams of dresses, but her family does not accept her for who she is. They insist that she is a boy who should avoid girlish things. She finally finds support from a friend. This book would be especially useful for genderqueer children or for the children of trans or genderqueer parents, and it is one of the best trans books available for younger readers. The Family Book by Todd Parr: Parr often features LGBTQ families in his work (see We Belong Together too). In this one, he depicts a variety of families, assuring child readers that there are many types of families and that they are all equally valid. His illustrations are bold and bright and will hold a child’s attention. King and King by Linda De Haan and Stern Nijland: A prince’s mother tells him it is time to get married, but he does not like any of the princesses she offers him. He does, however, like one of the princesses’ brothers. The two princes marry and live happily ever after. In the sequel, King and King and Family, the two princes adopt a child. In sum, there are some wonderful LGBTQ picture books available and families with two mums or two dads (or other variations on LGBTQ set-ups) would be doing their children a great service by having such books in their house. After all, you see heterosexual families everywhere – in most books and most TV shows and films – and it’s time for children with LGBTQ parents to have a chance to see reflections of themselves and their families too. Article: 30th October 2013 www.pinksnews.co.uk

Women age 35-45 feel judged for leaving it too late to have children

More than 60 per cent of women aged 35 to 45 who do not have children but want them feel judged for ‘leaving it too late’, a poll has found. The survey of 500 women who wanted children – including those undergoing treatment or still looking for the right partner – revealed friends and family are the ones who put the most pressure on, with 40 per cent saying they were too embarrassed to talk about fertility, even to those closest to them. Of those women who had already undergone fertility treatment, almost half waited four months or longer before a clinical assessment and nearly a third waited more than a year before receiving any treatment. The research was carried out by Infertility Network UK, with funding from pharmaceutical company Merck Serono, to tie in with National Infertility Awareness Week, which runs until Sunday and aims to highlight the impact infertility has on people’s lives, explain what options are out there for people struggling to conceive, and get more people talking about the subject. Clare Lewis-Jones, chief executive of the support organisation, said: “We need to promote a more open discussion about fertility. “Feelings of embarrassment and being judged are ultimately preventing some women seeking the help they need for their fertility problems.” The News spoke to a 40-year-old Cambridge woman who is currently trying for a child and has had fertility tests, but wished to remain anonymous. She said: “I am very lucky that I have family members who work in the medical profession and I can speak openly about this subject but I know it is not easy. “There is a perception in society, and I think the media has a lot to do with this, that if you are not married and with a child by a certain age then you are some sort of spinster. “Women are judged, particularly by men and there is pressure. While science has developed in the form of fertility treatments, there is still some way to go for attitudes to catch up, so no wonder it can be scary asking your doctor about it. “I think it would help if there were more ways to approach experts anonymously to begin with as one of the most important things is knowing your options.” Cambridgeshire’s Bourn Hall was where IVF pioneers gynaecologist Patrick Steptoe and reproductive biologist Robert Edwards founded a clinic and first developed the techniques and drugs now used worldwide to successfully fertilise a human egg outside the body and transfer the resulting embryo to the womb. IVF is just one of a number of fertility treatments now available, and Bourn Hall is the largest provider of NHS funded IVF treatment for patients in the East of England. A spokesman for the clinic, which is also backing the first ever Infertility Awareness Week, said: “We recommend if you are concerned about your fertility you speak to your GP who, if appropriate, will then refer you to a consultant at your local hospital. “We work closely with hospitals across the region to offer continuity of care. If you are referred for IVF treatment, you can normally get an appointment with Bourn Hall within a few weeks.” Various activities are set to run during the week, both online and off, and are open to all. Amateur chefs are invited to take part in the ‘Great Cake Bake’ by holding their own cake bake – email admin@infertilitynetworkuk.com and the team will send a ‘Great Cake Bake’ pack with poster and sheet of rice paper cake toppers to help decorate your cakes. Article: 28th October 2013 www.cambridge-news.co.uk Read more about improving your chances of conceiving using the DuoFertility monitor

Support National Infertility Awareness Week 28th Oct - 3rd Nov

“Join us and get behind National Infertility Awareness Week! With 1 in 6 people struggling to conceive we need to raise awareness of this misunderstood illness.” We want to make this a HUGE annual event and see everyone involved in fertility taking part in some way. Click here to find out how YOU can get involved. Launched this year by patient charity Infertility Network UK to support its Talking about Trying campaign, we hope this week will raise awareness about the extent and impact of infertility. Lots of people have asked us why there wasn’t an awareness week for infertility - which is incredible when you realise that 1 in 6 people struggle to conceive - so we decided we had to listen to all these requests and start one! And even if you’re not directly affected, chances are you will know someone, work with someone, or be friends with someone who is. And that’s a lot of people who are touched in some way by this illness. It’s YOUR week so make sure you mark the dates now and start thinking about how YOU can get involved with this annual event. Because we can’t do it without your support. Article: 26th October 2013 www.niaw.org.uk Read more sperm and egg donation at www.prideangel.com

Twins on the way for babyless couple who raised fertility funds online

After years of struggles with infertility issues, the babyless couple who turned to the Internet to raise funds for in vitro fertilization has some good news. Brittany Barry is finally pregnant. With twins. She and Chris Barry, who both attended Raritan Valley Community College and are now Phillipsburg residents, have been together for seven years and married for four. They've always dreamed of a large family, but because Brittany Barry has endometriosis (or scarring around the uterus), a blocked Fallopian tube and a low egg reserve count, doctors had told them their chances of conceiving naturally had dropped to as low as 5 percent. But with the help of a Franklin fertility doctor who read about their plight on NJ.com in June, Brittany Barry is now 12 weeks pregnant. "It's just surreal that we're pregnant and it's like our dreams are coming true," Brittany Barry said. "It's so awesome. We had a 55 percent chance of conceiving and a 40 percent chance of twins, and we just hit the jackpot." Her only goal in life was to be a great wife and mother, Brittany Barry told NJ.com in June. "My husband and I have planned our lives around having a family," Brittany Barry told NJ.com in June. "I always wanted seven kids, but now I'd just be happy with one." The Barrys decided to go public with their story and and start an Internet crowdsourcing project to take donations to help pay the costs for in vitro fertilization, or, if that failed, adoption. But fertility specialist Dr. Michelle Yih of the IVF New Jersey office in the Somerset section of Franklin read their story online and reached out to the couple to help make their dreams come true. In August, Yih was hoping to retrieve about 10 eggs from Brittany Barry but managed to collect 34 eggs, and 19 fertilized. They transferred two of the embryos back in to Brittany Barry's uterus, and the news was good. "There were a lot of barriers, I was definitely worried, with her history of endometriosis, the low egg reserve, the testing you had done previously," Yih said. But I knew that if anything was going to work that IVF would be the way to go." "It felt like it was all my fault," Brittany Barry said, referring to all her medical issues. "Usually by the time patients get to us they've already been struggling for a long period of time," Yih said. "They're stressed out, worried, anxious, scared, because they read things on the internet, and a little misinformation can scare people away." Yih said she tells her patients to let her take on some of that burden and focus on taking care of themselves. "I tell my patients to just take it one step at a time," Yih said. "If you take all of it into account at once it's overwhelming so you have to break it down into steps." Brittany Barry said that Yih did walk them through the entire process bit by bit, warning them along the way what would happen and making it much easier to handle. She said Yih and her staff was available day and night with questions or concerns, and never treated them like they were being annoying. Brittany Barry said that the hardest part of the process once the egg transfer was done was that they had to wait a full 10 days to find out if she was pregnant. "We went down to my parents' house in Seaside just to relax," Brittany Barry said. "You can drive yourself crazy." "Brittany did a home pregnancy test on Sunday and it came out negative, but we looked online and it said we wouldn't be able to tell until around Tuesday," Chris Barry said. "So on Tuesday it came out positive — she's crying, she's so happy, and I'm a little scared, because I didn't want her to get too excited and get her heart crushed." "I've never seen two lines before, it was the most amazing thing," Brittany Barry said. "I've never seen a positive so I took five more and saved them." The Barrys returned to IVF NJ to get the official blood test and it confirmed the good news. In fact, Yih told them she was "very" positive. "For the first ultrasound there was just one embryonic sac," Chris Barry said. "But the next time Dr. Yih walked into the room and turned the machine on — and there were two." "The night before the ultrasound I had a dream that there was two," Brittany Barry said. "Mother's intuition," Yih said. "We might not be able to do this again, we were so blessed to have this happen," Brittany Barry said. "And now we've got two — they'll each have a sibling." Yih said that a key factor in Brittany's success is that she is so young. She encourages any couples having fertility issues to come in sooner rather than later, instead of waiting until the prospective mom in nearing 40 and could have additional complications. "I think it's wonderful that you shared your story," Yih told the Barrys. "One in seven couple will face some type of infertility, and people think they're all alone. They don't realize how common it is, and that information is really powerful." Brittany Barry said the most rewarding thing about going public with their plight was the number of Facebook and Interent fans they acquired, and how many woman have gotten in touch. "I don't know them and they don't know me," Brittany Bary said. "But they're going through the same thing or they've been through it, and they throw me encouraging words, or they say I give them hope. Read more ... Article: 24th October 2013 www.nj.com

Six ways to improve fertility through diet and nutrition

For women hoping to conceive, experts advise watching your weight and following a Mediterranean-style diet to boost your odds of having a baby. As fertility experts shared their research at the American Society for Reproductive Medicine in Boston this week, Loyola University dietitian Brooke Schantz offered essential diet tips to increase your chances of having a baby. "Establishing a healthy eating pattern and weight is a good first step for women who are looking to conceive," she said. "Not only will a healthy diet and lifestyle potentially help with fertility, but it also may influence fetal well-being and reduce the risk of complications during pregnancy." Thirty percent of infertility is due to being either overweight or underweight, according to the National Infertility Association in the US. Reducing extra weight by even five percent can enhance fertility, experts say. For women looking to conceive, Schantz recommends the following: 1.Reduce intake of foods with trans and saturated fats while increasing intake of monounsaturated fats, such as avocados and olive oil 2.Lower intake of animal protein and add more vegetable protein to your diet 3.Add more fiber to your diet by consuming whole grains, vegetables, and fruit 4.Incorporate more vegetarian sources of iron such as legumes, tofu, nuts, seeds, and whole grains 5.Consume high-fat dairy instead of low-fat dairy. A Harvard University study showed that women who ate more than two portions a day of low-fat dairy foods were 85 percent more likely to be infertile due to ovulatory disorders than those who only ate it less than once a week. 6.Take a regular women's multivitamin But men aren't left out of the equation. "Men who are looking to have a baby also have a responsibility to maintain a healthy body weight and consume a balanced diet, because male obesity may affect fertility by altering testosterone and other hormone levels," Schantz said. Approximately 40 percent of infertility issues are attributed to men, according to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine. Article: 21st October 2013 www.ctvnews.ca Read more about diet and nutrition

Six ways to improve fertility through diet and nutrition

For women hoping to conceive, experts advise watching your weight and following a Mediterranean-style diet to boost your odds of having a baby. As fertility experts shared their research at the American Society for Reproductive Medicine in Boston this week, Loyola University dietitian Brooke Schantz offered essential diet tips to increase your chances of having a baby. "Establishing a healthy eating pattern and weight is a good first step for women who are looking to conceive," she said. "Not only will a healthy diet and lifestyle potentially help with fertility, but it also may influence fetal well-being and reduce the risk of complications during pregnancy." Thirty percent of infertility is due to being either overweight or underweight, according to the National Infertility Association in the US. Reducing extra weight by even five percent can enhance fertility, experts say. For women looking to conceive, Schantz recommends the following: 1.Reduce intake of foods with trans and saturated fats while increasing intake of monounsaturated fats, such as avocados and olive oil 2.Lower intake of animal protein and add more vegetable protein to your diet 3.Add more fiber to your diet by consuming whole grains, vegetables, and fruit 4.Incorporate more vegetarian sources of iron such as legumes, tofu, nuts, seeds, and whole grains 5.Consume high-fat dairy instead of low-fat dairy. A Harvard University study showed that women who ate more than two portions a day of low-fat dairy foods were 85 percent more likely to be infertile due to ovulatory disorders than those who only ate it less than once a week. 6.Take a regular women's multivitamin But men aren't left out of the equation. "Men who are looking to have a baby also have a responsibility to maintain a healthy body weight and consume a balanced diet, because male obesity may affect fertility by altering testosterone and other hormone levels," Schantz said. Approximately 40 percent of infertility issues are attributed to men, according to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine. Article: 21st October 2013 www.ctvnews.ca Read more about diet and nutrition

Six ways to improve fertility through diet and nutrition

For women hoping to conceive, experts advise watching your weight and following a Mediterranean-style diet to boost your odds of having a baby. As fertility experts shared their research at the American Society for Reproductive Medicine in Boston this week, Loyola University dietitian Brooke Schantz offered essential diet tips to increase your chances of having a baby. "Establishing a healthy eating pattern and weight is a good first step for women who are looking to conceive," she said. "Not only will a healthy diet and lifestyle potentially help with fertility, but it also may influence fetal well-being and reduce the risk of complications during pregnancy." Thirty percent of infertility is due to being either overweight or underweight, according to the National Infertility Association in the US. Reducing extra weight by even five percent can enhance fertility, experts say. For women looking to conceive, Schantz recommends the following: 1.Reduce intake of foods with trans and saturated fats while increasing intake of monounsaturated fats, such as avocados and olive oil 2.Lower intake of animal protein and add more vegetable protein to your diet 3.Add more fiber to your diet by consuming whole grains, vegetables, and fruit 4.Incorporate more vegetarian sources of iron such as legumes, tofu, nuts, seeds, and whole grains 5.Consume high-fat dairy instead of low-fat dairy. A Harvard University study showed that women who ate more than two portions a day of low-fat dairy foods were 85 percent more likely to be infertile due to ovulatory disorders than those who only ate it less than once a week. 6.Take a regular women's multivitamin But men aren't left out of the equation. "Men who are looking to have a baby also have a responsibility to maintain a healthy body weight and consume a balanced diet, because male obesity may affect fertility by altering testosterone and other hormone levels," Schantz said. Approximately 40 percent of infertility issues are attributed to men, according to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine. Article: 21st October 2013 www.ctvnews.ca Read more about diet and nutrition

Pride Angel Journey - Birth Training in Adverse Weather Conditions

It was a sunny Sunday morning at the end of March. While we waited for our NCT instructor to arrive at our house (the block of sessions we had booked months previously had been cancelled due to lack of interest so we were having an intensive private session) we stomped around the driveway, digging our cars out of a three-foot high snowdrift – well, thirty-five weeks pregnant I stomped about waving a broom rather ineffectively, while my partner, Sally, did some serious work with a spade. It was the first time we had bothered with this sort of lark –in the past I’d looked a little condescendingly on those who have the time to potter about their driveway with a shovel when half an inch of snow falls – but in today’s conditions, without removing mounds of snow, our cars would be going nowhere, and we had our nephew’s christening to attend that afternoon. So it was that we were wielding our implements when a laden figure lolloped into sight through the drifts. We called out greetings from a hundred yards away – the layer of snow seemed to make the world smaller, such that from quite long distances you were really rather friendly even to people you didn’t know. There was a quiet, a thick solid feeling, where a shouted greeting carried crisply and clearly to its intended recipient. We expressed gratitude to our instructor for hiking through the drifts with her bags of plastic pelvises and baby dolls, but she seemed unphased, despite the early hour – it wasn’t yet ten o’clock, and on a Sunday morning – but we knew she had kids, so that means you’re up at…well…what o’clock? Six perhaps? Seven if you’re very lucky? So much to look forward to. “We’ve read quite a lot already, so we know the basic stuff,” we said. And we did. Despite recent concerns over my amniotic fluid levels, I was still determined to have the natural birth I’d planned, the wild animal burrowed safely in the undergrowth, the hunter-gatherer woman finding a quiet corner of the forest. Nevertheless, birth was still rather an alien concept to us and I knew even then that shoving a baby doll through a plastic pelvis and examining an (albeit colourful) NCT birth progress wall frieze would do little to change that. I was certainly getting to grips with the idea of a long period where the little bumps in the chart got bigger and closer together, and then this odd bit called transition that would be bad, and then pushing for quite a bit and then the baby coming out. I was also vaguely aware of a bit after that concerning the placenta which didn’t seem very interesting. But I really had no idea of what a contraction might feel like and trying to imagine all this as a process I was going to experience, at some point in the next few weeks, partly here at home, partly at the hospital (or if we were very lucky and they let us in, the birth centre) seemed impossible. Then we moved on to the baby bit. And here I really didn’t have a clue. I knew three things about babies: firstly that they cried, and we should try to ‘regulate’ this crying so they didn’t get too stressed – we’d read up on that; secondly that they didn’t sleep very well; and thirdly that they wore vests and baby gros of which you needed many – presumably because they were sick a lot/nappies didn’t work very well. So I made a careful study of the NCT images of baby birth marks, rashes and a whole range of bizarre blemishes and blotches which it seemed babies were frequently born with – apparently much to the surprise of their parents, who are expecting it to slip out all fresh faced and rosy, as if they have just been for an invigorating constitutional in the Autumn air. Then we studied pictures of baby poo. Black and tarry for newborns, then greenish, brownish, and yellowish with bits in. Lovely. Finally, the instructor demonstrated a Stretchy Wrap. We had a mound of various slings and carriers, all of which had been passed on by a friend, except one, the Ergo Baby carrier which we had bought ourselves, months ago – in fact it had been the first piece of baby equipment we had actually purchased: sleepless and sick at 3am one morning back in November, I had researched the topic in some detail. Wraps and slings scared me – I’ve never been particularly dexterous (and was already slightly concerned about how I’d manage all the plaiting and pig-tailing if we were to have a girl) and so thought I’d be more at home with the structured carriers. My nocturnal reading had taught me about the importance of hip position, about how most of the carriers available on the high street are designed to allow the baby to dangle from the crotch, which didn’t sound ideal. So we’d bought the Ergo Baby carrier, a carrier which places the baby in a comfortable seated position with their bottom low and knees high in a sort of squat. It was supposed to be very comfortable for parents too. And came in a lovely shade of purple. Nevertheless, the stretchy wrap demonstrated to us by our instructor, despite just being a long piece of material, seemed very cosy, very easy to tie and clearly encouraged the good hip position; after she’d left, promising to send us various links and book recommendations, we ordered one – a ‘Sabe’, in green and grey, reversible. Then it was on through the snow to the Christening, and as always happens, when we arrived at Ramsbottom, our destination on the other side of the Pennines, there wasn’t a hint of the white stuff; we were the only guests dressed for blizzard conditions in what turned out to be rather a bright spring day. But on Monday morning, for us at least, it was back to navigating carefully between the gigantic white mole hills down either side of our little cul-de-sac as I headed to my now weekly scan/consultant appointment. Amniotic fluid still disappointingly low. Not especially low. But enough keep me under consultant care and out of the birth centre. Enough to warrant induction at forty weeks. Once home, we tried another angle and I phoned the consultant midwife for the area. Clearly thoroughly passionate about birth, she had answered her work mobile on a day off and spent an hour enthusiastically discussing our situation: the hospital’s ‘diagnosis’ and desire to intervene; our desperate quest for the gentleness and tranquillity of the birth centre. She went away to do a bit of research and then phoned back, supportive of our wishes: she thought I could have a midwife-led birth. We had an ally. Back at work it was the final week before the Easter holidays. I was dashing around desperately trying to ensure that everything was up-to-date and ready for me to leave. I was due to go back for two days after the holiday, but knowing that the hospital could suddenly decide to induce me after any one of my weekly scans, I wanted to make sure all loose ends were tied: A’ level and GCSE coursework completed and marked, classroom tidy and cleared of my stuff, responsibilities transferred to others. I dashed around, dragging my pregnancy risk-assessment trolley full of books, out of breath and gulping from a litre bottle of water at every opportunity. And as each task was ticked off the list, I could almost feel my bump breathe a sigh of relief – at last, you’re going to concentrate on me. Article: 20th October 2013 by Lindsey, West Yorkshire Read more Lesbian parenting blogs at www.prideangel.com

Fertility app Glow teams up with MyFitnessPal

Fertility app 'Glow' introduced earlier this year by PayPay co-founder Max Levchin, just announced its first partner. On Thursday, the startup said it was teaming up with top health and wellness app MyFitnessPal to enable users to connect their accounts on the two services. Launched in August with $6 million from Founders Fund, Andreessen Horowitz and others, Glow uses big data analytics to help women who are trying to conceive identify the most fertile days in their cycle. It prompts them to provide information, like the length of their menstrual cycles, basal body temperature and health-related habits, and then analyzes the data within the context of other user data and known medical correlations to predict when she’s most likely to conceive. As part of the integration with MyFitnessPal, Glow will now automatically pull information about users’ body mass index (BMI) directly into the app, as well as provide users with more specific diet and exercise insights and recommendations. “We hope to further personalize the woman’s fertility window with the BMI information from MyFitnessPal,” co-founder and CEO Mike Huang said in an email. Not only does body mass index (BMI) affect conception, he said it will be helpful to include nutritional data in Glow’s data processing and algorithms. “There also hasn’t ever been a cohesive study done to see how food intake affects fertility,” he said. “We know that certain foods should be avoided (like fish & caffeine), but down the line the integration will help us see how diet and exercise can impact a woman’s fertility.” Article: 18th October 2013 www.gigaom.com Read more about timing and ovulation at www.prideangel.com

Pride Angel Journey | Fluid and frustation

It was the middle of March and, thirty-four weeks pregnant, I was lying on a fluffy purple rug with my head under a table, on the floor of a tiny room in the local Surestart centre – the only way the dimensions of the room allowed me to stretch out fully so that the midwife could measure my bump. The alternative was seeing her at the doctor’s surgery, but not being ill, I preferred to keep my distance from the waiting room of hacking old men, three-year-olds working as professional Germ Transmitters, and tight-lipped receptionists. And I quite liked the relaxed simplicity of lying on a fluffy rug with my head under a table. Had I known at the time that twice a week this room was transformed into a sensory room for babies, which if you’ve never been in one of these, is a bit like walking into a second-hand kitchen utensil shop after taking some strong hallucinogenic drugs, the experience would have been all the more surreal. “Mmm, you’re measuring a bit small.” Despite the fact that everyone commented on how small my bump was, until now my chart had shown a steady, even arc. “I’ve got a long back,” I would tell people. “The baby’s probably just more spread out.” “I’ll try again,” the midwife said. Pause to measure. “No, [sigh], I’m going to have to send you for a scan. It’s probably fine, they just have to check it. They’ll be sick of me there – you’re the third lady I’ve referred today. Oh, and if you notice any change in the baby’s movements, call this number.” And I entered a new world of pregnancy. The world where there might be something wrong. Morning (well, all-day sickness) had been horrible and pelvic pain turned me into a grumpy insomniac, but so far I had had the luxury of knowing that for the baby, all was going very nicely. Now I didn’t know. It was Thursday. The scan was urgent enough for me to expect to be given an appointment for the following Monday. Not urgent enough to merit having it before the weekend. A weekend of anxious wondering. Meanwhile, that weekend we had a three-hour birth preparation yoga session. I’d been attending pregnancy yoga since January and now this was a special extended session for partners to attend as well. There were three couples and I was pleased to arrive with my girlfriend and counter again the assumption that, pregnant, you must be straight. Thence an afternoon of shuffling between various poses on mats, birthing balls and chairs, finding ways of leaning on Sally from different angles whilst maintaining an ‘open-pelvis’ position. Deep breaths, short quick breaths, meditative breaths. And rolling our sleeves up as the March sun breathed its own warm breath against the long windows. Monday came and I lay impatiently on the couch as the radiographer rolled the probe across my abdomen. My eyes flickered on and off the screen she was examining – I wanted to see my baby but I didn’t want to know its sex – in reality of course, this was highly unlikely given all I could really see anyway was bubbles of white a grey growing, merging and shrinking. “How’s it looking?” I ventured, after watching the radiographer make half a dozen tiny rulers across the screen. “The amniotic fluid level is just a bit low.” She didn’t sound worried. We went back to work; the appointment with the consultant wasn’t until Wednesday. That evening I examined my notes; the amniotic fluid chart showed a little cross just outside the boundaries of normal. I did what I know you should never do, and googled it; I read a load of stuff about how it’s virtually impossible to get an accurate reading of amniotic fluid. And about how my measurement, whilst on the low side, was only really ‘borderline’. I downed a pint of water, and another, aware that I was responding to my appalling understanding of biology, but just in case… “And your long back,” Sally pointed out when she got home. “They measure the depth of the pockets of fluid so yours will of course be shallower because they’re spread over a longer back.” On Wednesday we sat in the waiting room for an hour. The registrar had been held up by a lady who had felt faint in the consultation room. They were waiting for the ambulance to arrive. Waiting for the ambulance to arrive at the hospital. To take her to the hospital. By the time the paramedics arrived, she was already feeling better and ready to go home. And then it was our turn. “Ok, so baby growing fine but amniotic fluid low, so we see how it goes. We scan each week and see. We induce at thirty-nine weeks.” It was unfortunate we’d happened upon a registrar who struggled with both her spoken English and bedside manner. “We want to go to the birth centre,” I said, helplessly. Our local birth centre was more like a spa than a corridor in a hospital. It had dimmed lighting, rooms named after aromatherapy oils, pools, reflexology and a kitchen where Sally could heat up her homemade chicken korma. It was where I was going to burrow down and give birth like an animal in the wild. A place removed from beds, stirrups, epidurals and forceps. And I knew what induction meant. Bed-bound and attached to a monitor, sudden and extreme contractions and thus the likelihood of an epidural and whatever further interventions might follow. “And I don’t want to be induced, I want a natural birth. I’ve got a long back and the measurement is only borderline, isn’t it?” “Okay, induction at forty weeks but no birth centre. Not with complications or induction. You phone if change in baby’s movements.” Change in baby’s movements. Baby’s movements were totally unpredictable. It varied enormously when and how much it moved. We pointed this out and she gave us a leaflet entitled ‘Your Baby’s Movements’. It was printed in a very large font and told us we should phone the hospital if we noticed any ‘change in baby’s movements’. We went home and I drank a pint of water. And another. And another. Article: 16th October 2013 by Lindsey, West Yorkshire Read more Lesbian parenting blogs at www.prideangel.com

Vote for your lesbian of the year with the Ultimate Planet Awards

Launched in 2013, these awards are deeply rooted in the community. Unlike many of the other awards available, these are grass roots based. What makes these awards different is that they warmly welcome input from the community and they celebrate Lesbian and Bi women specifically. Lesbians can nominate anyone for a variety of awards and then vote for the final shortlisted awards. The organisers have spent some time coming up with award categories that aims to appreciate and acknowledge lesbians within the community. Categories available are: DJ of the year | arts event of the year | lesbian friendly venue of the year | social group of the year | youth group of the year | local network/forum of the year | professional network of the year | most creative club night of the year | new club night of the year | daytime event of the year | festival of the year | blogger of the year | self-published author of the year | published author of the year | musician of the year | comedian of the year | lesbian-friendly comedy of the year | news service of the year | dating/networking service of the year | lesbian themed theatre of the year | lesbian themed film of the year | web series of the year | radio show of the year | volunteer of the year | community project worker of the year | woman of the year Website: www.ultimate-planet.com Awards format: nominations by lesbians, voted for by lesbians and winners sent an electronic jpeg award Timing: nominations are received in October, voting in November and winners announced in December Article: 14th October www.ultimate-planet.com For lesbian parenting visit www.prideangel.com

Betty Crocker releases heart warming video in support of gay families

http://blogs.prideangel.com/post/2013/10/Betty-Crocker-releases-heart-warming-video-in-support-of-gay-families.aspx

Gay couples in California now have the same access to fertility treatments

Unmarried and gay couples will be ensured the same access to insurance coverage for fertility treatments as heterosexual couples under a bill California Gov. Jerry Brown signed into law Tuesday. Authored by Assemblyman Tom Ammiano (D-San Francisco), AB 460, clarifies the non-discrimination provision of an existing California law that requires health plans to cover fertility treatments, excluding in vitro fertilization. Judy Appel, executive director of Our Family Coalition, a San Francisco-based group that advocates for same-sex couples, said to the AP that the new law lifts a huge emotional and financial burden for gay couples. "We have the right to marry now and this is further support for us to be able to create families," she said. Article: 10th October 2013 www.huffingtonpost.com

The increasing amount of sperm donors over the age of 45 years appears to be adversely affecting the clinical pregnancy success rates of women undergoing donor insemination (DI). The finding was uncovered in research by UWA School of Anatomy, Physiology and Human Biology PhD candidate Su-Ann Koh, who was interested in investigating the effect of paternal age on fertility. Since the introduction of an open-identity program in WA in December 2004, sperm donors in the 40–45 year age group have been steadily increasing. "While there is strong evidence that open-identity donor programmes are beneficial for donor families, the consequences of an ageing sperm donor cohort, in terms of pregnancy success, have not been identified until now," Ms Koh says. "Given that previous research suggests male age may adversely affect fertility, we postulated that when controlling for female age, older sperm donors would be associated with a decreased pregnancy rate per cycle undertaken. "[We also hypothesised] it would take a greater number of cycles to achieve a clinical pregnancy with recipients." The researchers analysed 2142 DI cycles from 181 male donors and 456 female recipients collected at Concept Fertility Centre, Perth, between 1994 and 2011. Females were less than 40 years-old with no known fertility problems, while all male donors had to satisfy the World Health Organisation's standards for semen quality, including motility and concentration. Older male donors aged 45 years and over (50 being the cut off age) were significantly associated with decreased DI success rates in women less than 40 years. This was observed both in clinical pregnancy rate per cycle (defined as a fetal heartbeat 6–7 weeks post fertilisation), and also time to achieve pregnancy. "There appears to be a threshold effect of paternal age … [and this impact] was not solely mediated via an age-related decrease in sperm concentration or motility, which are known to be predictive measures of DI success," Ms Koh says. "This suggests that sperm quality in older men is compromised via some other mechanism, ultimately affecting clinical pregnancy." In light of results, Ms Koh suggests encouraging recruitment of younger sperm donors given the increasing trend of older donor cohorts in open-identity systems like WA. She recommends further investigation of "other mechanisms that could be mediating the age-related decrease in DI pregnancy success, [such as] oxidative stress and sperm DNA damage". "Future studies should also consider longer-term outcome measures such as live birth rates and the health of any live born children." Article: 4th October www.medicalxpress.com Want to test your sperm count? Buy the Male Fertilcount fertility test

Genepeeks: New genetic digital screen for sperm donors

A service that digitally weaves together the DNA of prospective parents to check for potential disease in thousands of "virtual babies" is set to launch in the US by December. New York start-up Genepeeks will initially focus on donor sperm, simulating before pregnancy how the genetic sequence of a female client might combine with those of different males. Donors that more often produce "digital children" with a higher risk of inherited disorders will be filtered out, leaving those who are better genetic matches. Everything happens in a computer, but experts have raised ethical questions. "We are just in the business right now of giving prospective mothers, who are using donor sperm to conceive, a filtered catalogue of donors based on their own underlying genetic profile," Genepeeks co-founder Anne Morriss told BBC News. "We are filtering out the donor matches with an elevated risk of rare recessive paediatric conditions." Ms Morriss, an entrepreneur, gave a presentation on the company at the Consumer Genetics Conference in Boston last week. Advancing technology She was motivated in part by her own experience of starting a family. Her son was conceived with a sperm donor who happened to share with Morriss the gene for an inherited disorder called MCADD. MCADD (medium-chain acyl-CoA dehydrogenase deficiency) prevents those affected from converting fats to sugar. It can be fatal if it is not diagnosed early. Luckily, in Ms Morriss's case, the condition was picked up in newborn screening tests. "My son has a pretty normal life," Ms Morriss said, "but about 30% of children with rare genetic diseases don't make it past the age of five." Genepeeks has formalised a partnership with a sperm bank - the Manhattan Cryobank - and has a patent pending on the DNA screening technology. The start-up benefits from the rapid pace of change in genetic technology. Indeed, six months ago, Genepeeks' founders decided it was able to use a superior system for DNA analysis (called "targeted exon sequencing") than the one originally envisaged - a result, says Anne Morriss, of falling costs and increased flexibility. For couples planning babies, other companies already screen one or both partners for genes that could cause disease if combined with a similar variant - so-called "carrier screening". Digital filter One academic who studies the use of genetic technology commented: "This is like that, but ramped up 100,000 times." Ms Morriss's business partner, Prof Lee Silver, a geneticist and expert on bioethics at Princeton University, New Jersey, told BBC News: "We get the DNA sequence from two prospective parents. We simulate the process of reproduction, forming virtual sperm and virtual eggs. We put them together to form a hypothetical child genome. "Then we can look at that hypothetical genome and - with all the tools of modern genetics - determine the risk that the genome will result in a child with disease. We're looking directly for disease and not carrier status. For each pair of people that we're going to analyse, we make 10,000 hypothetical children." Read more ...

New surrogacy legislation in the UK came into force this week

The HFEA’s new Code of Practice, which comes into force this week, contains new guidance for UK fertility clinics dealing with surrogacy cases. The changes affect how clinics deal with the forms which allocate legal parenthood in surrogacy cases. Cases where the surrogate is married or in a civil partnership If the surrogate is married or in a civil partnership, she and her husband (or civil partner) will be the legal parents of the child. There may be some rare cases in which the surrogate’s spouse does not consent to the arrangement as a question of fact (for example if the couple are separated). However, in the vast majority of cases a surrogate’s spouse cannot simply opt out of becoming a legal parent by signing a withdrawal of consent form. The HFEA gives new guidance making this clear, and instructions to clinics about how the paperwork should be completed. Cases where the surrogate is not married If the surrogate is legally single (or if her spouse genuinely does not consent), there is new guidance on what clinics should do. The HFEA no longer says that in these circumstances the child has no second legal parent. Instead, the new rules provide that there are choices to be made as to who can be named on the child’s first birth certificate with the surrogate mother (something which brings the HFEA guidance into line with the approach of the family courts and register offices). In practice, there are three options and clinics will need to consider the alternatives carefully with patients before treatment proceeds: 1) Do nothing – the intended (biological) father will be the legal father and can be named on the birth certificate with the surrogate. No parenthood election forms need be signed. 2) Nominate the intended mother as the other parent. The clinic will need to ensure that the new the parenthood election forms for surrogacy (Forms SWP and SPP) are signed by both women before conception. This enables the two women to be named on the birth certificate together when the child is born. 3) Nominate a non-biological father as the father (e.g. the other dad in a gay couple or, probably more rarely, an intended father in a case where a couple is conceiving with the intended mother’s eggs and donor sperm). The clinic will need to ensure the parenthood election forms (SWP and SPP) are signed by the nominated non-biological father and the surrogate mother before conception. The non-biological dad can then be registered on the birth certificate with the surrogate. The parenthood election forms are critical documents which patients will need when they go and register their child’s birth, so it is important that licensed centres provide patients with a copy and keep a copy on file. They must be signed before artificial insemination or embryo transfer to be legally effective. Intended parents will still need to apply for a parental order after their child is born to secure their joint parentage and to extinguish their surrogate’s legal responsibilites. This will, in the long run, give the intended parents a birth certificate naming them both as the parents - the new HFEA rules only deal with the interim position before this process is complete. It is therefore also important that licensed centres are familiar with parental orders, or otherwise make sure their patients have legal advice. There is more information and FAQs from the HFEA here and more information about legal parenthood after surrogacy on our website. We have assisted the HFEA with its new guidance, and have worked with hundreds of families created through surrogacy. We can offer training to licensed centres, and advice and support to families with navigating these new rules. Gay? looking for an egg donor or co-parent? register for free at www.prideangel.com

New fertility treatment awakens sleeping follicles to produce eggs

For women with primary ovarian insufficiency (POI), getting pregnant can feel like nothing more than a dream. Characterized by entering menopause early before the age of 40, this kind of infertility has no current treatment options, and women cannot have a baby that shares their genetic information. But now, there may be an answer for these women who want to have a child of their own. Researchers from Stanford University School of Medicine have developed a brand new technique called in vitro activation, which involves inducing the ovaries to produce eggs. The scientists tested their treatment on 27 women in Japan with POI and were able to collect viable eggs from five of them. After going through the treatment, one woman gave birth to a healthy baby boy, and another is currently pregnant. “Right now the main options people have for this diagnosis is to either do egg donation and fertilize with the intended father’s sperm, or they may adopt the child,” Dr. Valerie Baker, associate professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Stanford, told FoxNews.com. “Various fertility medications really don’t work well for this condition at all, which is why this is such a ray of hope.” Awakening sleeping follicles The key to developing their technique came when researchers discovered a signaling pathway responsible for controlling the growth of follicles in ovaries. “The human ovary is a very interesting organ in that you have 800,000 follicles at birth,” senior author Dr. Aaron Hsueh, professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Stanford, told FoxNews.com. “…The follicles sit there, and they don’t grow, but then about 1,000 of this 800,000 begin to grow every month.” Of those 1,000 follicles, only one matures into an egg that is released during ovulation each month. During the course of her lifetime, a woman will ovulate only around 400 mature eggs. It had previously not been known why one particular follicle became an egg and the others did not, but in 2010, Hsueh discovered that several proteins, including one called PTEN, regulate this growth process. He showed that PTEN acts as a brake in the ovaries, keeping the small follicles from maturing fully. “This is a system that’s found in a lot of organs in the body, and originally found in the fly,” Hsueh said. “It is a very used signaling pathway that makes sure your heart or liver do not overgrow when they reach the right size.” Hsueh found that by blocking this PTEN “brake” system, he could stimulate dormant follicles in the ovaries to grow and produce mature eggs. He explained that although women with POI no longer have menstrual cycles, some of them still have unused small follicles in their ovaries. In vitro activation Utilizing this science, Hsueh and his colleague Yuan Cheng, a postdoctoral scholar in Hsueh’s lab, came up with a complex method called in vitro activation, which ultimately led to the successful birth in their study cohort. First they removed the ovaries from their 27 participants, which were then cut into pieces – a process known as fragmenting. Previous research has shown that mechanically disrupting the ovary through cutting or drilling small holes in it can help stimulate follicular development. Once the ovaries were cut into small pieces, the scientists treated them with drugs to block the PTEN pathway, in order to further stimulate the smaller follicles to grow. The ovary pieces were then transplanted through small incisions near the fallopian tubes of the women from which they were removed. Of the 27 participants, five women went on to develop mature eggs – much more quickly than originally expected. “This is where the interesting thing comes in,” Hsueh said. “This small sleeping follicle usually takes six months to grow” – based on pervious tests using mouse models. “However, in his original study (Cheng) found that within three weeks, several of his patients had mature follicles and mature eggs.” The mature eggs were then collected and fertilized with the intended husband’s sperm through in vitro fertilization. The resulting embryos were then frozen and transferred back into the uterus. Of these five women, one received her embryo but failed to become pregnant, one received the embryo and is currently pregnant, and one became pregnant, ultimately giving birth to a seemingly healthy baby boy. The other two women are still preparing for their embryo transfer and undergoing further rounds of egg collection. Providing hope Hsueh and his team hope that in vitro activation will aid an entire group of women who previously thought they could never have a child of their own. They noted that their technique can also be used to help women who have beaten cancer. “A lot of people survive cancer, but because their chemotherapy damages the ovaries, they have fewer follicles,” Hsueh said. “They’ll reach early menopause, but some of them still have smaller follicles and those baby follicles will be helped to wake up by this procedure.” However, as shown in their study, only a fraction of women who reach early menopause will go on to successfully grow mature eggs. “If they don’t have follicles left, there’s nothing you can do,” Hsueh said. “So 25 to 30 percent of this type of patient can eventually have a baby.” But according to Baker, who is working with Hsueh to continue investigating the treatment in Japan and at Stanford, these small odds are enough for these women. “It’s so devastating for the women who have this,” Baker said. “For most people, the most important element in life is to have a family or have a child. It can be devastating to a woman and her partner, not having a child genetically related… So I’m incredibly excited. It’s the first thing I’ve seen that looks like it could be hopeful.” The research was published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. Article: 1st October 2013 www.foxnews.com