'First Christmas with our wee miracle baby' a fertility journey story

Janelle Shaw shares the story of her fertility journey. If you have battled with fertility, share your story with us. This year is our first Christmas with our wee miracle, Olive. My husband and I were married in Auckland in 2004 and took it for granted that we would start a family within a few years. We moved to Invercargill, where I am originally from, to prepare ourselves for parenthood by buying and doing up our first house and continuing our careers. After five years my husband and I were termed with 'unexplained fertility'. None of the invasive testing showed us what our problems were or how we could fix them. So we joined the increasing number of couples in the public systemwaiting list for IVF treatment. We were very open about our journey and our colleagues, friends and family offered us plenty of support. Time was needed to travel to Dunedin for scans and treatments on a regular basis. Our house began to look like some sort of science lab with the drugs around. All social engagements revolved around jab timings, which were set to my cellphone. Three years later, after two rounds of IVF and six embryo transfers we were reaching the end of our stamina and courage to continue. Luckily, I found the support I needed to continue in an online IVF group where others were in the same boat. Many of these people have remained close friends. From research provided by my online group we managed to convince our fertility specialists to try a different protocol on our third cycle. I remember the nurse telling me I should 'rattle as I walked' with the number of drugs I was taking. This was the first time we got a positive. The pregnancy was not without its own complications and the angel at the top of our Christmas tree represents our lost twin in utero. At about 30 weeks Olive was termed 'growth restricted' and had slowed her growing right down. We were assigned to the obstetricians who were hoping for me to reach 38 weeks and Olive to grow to 5 pounds (2.268kgs). We lasted until 37 weeks when pre-eclampsia signs set in. Out Olive came the day after New Years 2013, weighing 4 pounds 5 ounces (1.956). I have put together an album for Olive sharing the journey we took to get her here with the inscription 'Never forget how wanted and loved you are, love Mummy and Daddy'. In the album are doctor's letters, ovary scans, blessed stones from well-meaning aunties, along with the scans of her and her twin My online group started up a 'lucky sock' trend. During the egg extraction operation each of us chose a pair of socks to wear. For Olive's first Christmas I have made her her own Santa sock with her initials 'OS' sewn on the top from the lucky socks worn at her egg extraction and the following successful egg transfer. Finally we have our first Christmas as a family. Sod the expensive Christmas presents and blow the scurrying around for weeks beforehand that seems to go with the big day. This year we have been blessed enough to discover the true meaning of Christmas. Article: 29th December 2013 www.stuff.co.nz

http://blogs.prideangel.com/post/2013/12/Scientists-have-created-spermbots-to-mechanize-sperm.aspx

Get your robot-proof tube socks ready, internet, because science has started to mechanize sperm. By combining your little swimmers with nanotechnology, scientists are hoping these “spermbots” could be used for fertilization – or, to deliver targeted doses of microscopic medicine. Researchers at the Institute for Integrative Nanosciences in Dresden, Germany, decided sperm would be a great vessel for their project because of their tails (“flagellum”), which help them push through the barriers inside your body. They fit individual sperm cells inside tiny metal tubes – like, “only 50 microns” tiny – and then used magnetic fields to control the direction in which the sperm-knights travelled. These magnetically-controlled sperm-knights would be harmless to humans, don’t require any sort of power source (a major stumbling block in nanotech), and could deliver specific types of drugs to specific areas in the body. And, yeah, “sperm-knights.” They’re basically wearing tiny sperm suits-of-armor, so we’re running with it. Article: 27th December 2013 www.geekosystem.com/spermbots/ Looking for a sperm donor? register for free at www.prideangel.com http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MP-Z7CRfGkQ&feature=player_embedded

Wishing you all a Merry Christmas 2013

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas for 2013. If you are just starting on the journey to becoming parents, we send our best wishes and wish you happiness for the future. For all of you who have become parents this year through Pride Angel, we send you our congratulations and just a reminder that we would love to hear your baby news and about your Pride Angel Journey. Click here to read about one couples personal journey through Pride Angel to becoming parents. Heres to a fantastic new year in 2014. The Pride Angel Team 25th December 2013

Australian donors split over past change in anonymity law

People who donated sperm and eggs before 1998 in one Australian state were able to remain anonymous, but potential new laws could have changed that. A recent study found those donors were split on the idea of possible contact from their donor children. Victoria, Australia introduced legislation to ban anonymous sperm and egg donation in 1998. "This means that donor-conceived children who were born after 1998 have a legal right to access information about their donor," Karin Hammarberg told Reuters Health by email. Hammarberg is a postdoctoral research fellow at the School of Public Health and Preventative Medicine at Monash University in Melbourne. It was also suggested that the government change the law to allow everyone conceived through sperm and egg donations to find information about their donor - including pre-1998 donors who thought they could stay anonymous, she said. But before deciding, the government wanted to ask people who donated in the past how they would feel about no longer being anonymous, and reached About half of the donors who rejected the recommendation were themselves willing to supply information to their donor offspring. They suggested the compromise of persuading donors to voluntarily release information to donor-conceived people. Many of them also thought parents should be encouraged to tell their children about their donor conception, and some thought it should be required. It's impossible to know if the views of these 42 donors represent the views of all Australians who donated eggs or sperm before 1998, the researchers noted. In August 2013, the Victorian government considered the survey findings. Although acknowledging the right of donor-conceived people to have information about their donors, the government decided identifying information should only be released with a donor's consent. "The balancing of donors' and donor-conceived people's rights requires utmost sensitivity. All over the world, increasing numbers of donor-conceived people are reaching adulthood. Of those who have been told that they were conceived with the help of a donor, some are likely to have a strong wish to know the identity of their donors," Hammarberg said. Read more ... Article: 23rd December 2013 www.reuters.com

Leading US cancer centers neglect the future fertility of patients

Some of the most advanced and best-resourced cancer centers in the country fail to notify patients of risks to their fertility or to direct patients to speak with fertility specialists, says a new study. In 2006, the American Society of Reproductive Medicine published guidelines regarding fertility preservation advising oncologists to be prepared to discuss risks to patients' fertility and make the proper referrals. In many treatment centers, these guidelines seem to have gone unheeded. "If it turns out that there were things that could have been potentially done to help them preserve their fertility and those weren't done or those weren't talked about, then it's very upsetting, understandably," says lead study author Marla Clayman, an assistant professor of medicine at Northwestern University's Feinberg School of Medicine. Questions regarding fertility are frequently cited among adolescent and young adult cancer patients' frequent concerns in surveys, she adds.Researchers at Northwestern University phoned 39 comprehensive cancer centers to assess their fertility preservation resources. These centers are at the helm of experimental research. They are well-financed, often part of medical schools, or they are affiliated with other academic organizations. Phone survey participants were mainly staff affiliated with reproductive endocrinology, hematology or oncology divisions. Study results found that half of these centers had fertility preservation services available on site or referral systems in place. However, only about a quarter - 27 percent - of these centers employed fertility navigators or educators. Clayman says she understands an oncologist's principle goal is to save lives, but she believes cancer treatment centers ought to make an institutional commitment to providing fertility information to patients. "The vast majority of patients are not going to say, 'No, no. It's going to ruin my fertility don't give me treatment.' It's not an either or," she says. There are a number of options in fertility preservation: women can freeze embryos or cryopreserve their eggs. Other more experimental options such as freezing ovarian tissue have also surfaced in the last year. Men concerned about fertility have the option of sperm banking. Sometimes preserving a patient's fertility can delay treatment, but for certain slow-growing cancers, a few weeks difference may not be significant. These are the types of conversations patients should be having with clinicians, says Clayman. Doctors often take measures to make certain that patients are comfortable and to ensure fewer long-term side effects. "For many people the possibility of being infertile because of their cancer can result in psychological pain throughout a lifetime," says Clayman. Quality of life is important to cancer patients, particularly survivors. "You don't just want to have a life after cancer, you want to have the best life you can have after cancer, and we want that for everybody. The best that they can have - whether that means being in less pain, or whether that means having less psychological distress or whether that means being able to build a family that they want to build," says Clayman. Article: 20th December 2013 www.usnews.com

Leading US cancer centers neglect the future fertility of patients

Some of the most advanced and best-resourced cancer centers in the country fail to notify patients of risks to their fertility or to direct patients to speak with fertility specialists, says a new study. In 2006, the American Society of Reproductive Medicine published guidelines regarding fertility preservation advising oncologists to be prepared to discuss risks to patients' fertility and make the proper referrals. In many treatment centers, these guidelines seem to have gone unheeded. "If it turns out that there were things that could have been potentially done to help them preserve their fertility and those weren't done or those weren't talked about, then it's very upsetting, understandably," says lead study author Marla Clayman, an assistant professor of medicine at Northwestern University's Feinberg School of Medicine. Questions regarding fertility are frequently cited among adolescent and young adult cancer patients' frequent concerns in surveys, she adds.Researchers at Northwestern University phoned 39 comprehensive cancer centers to assess their fertility preservation resources. These centers are at the helm of experimental research. They are well-financed, often part of medical schools, or they are affiliated with other academic organizations. Phone survey participants were mainly staff affiliated with reproductive endocrinology, hematology or oncology divisions. Study results found that half of these centers had fertility preservation services available on site or referral systems in place. However, only about a quarter - 27 percent - of these centers employed fertility navigators or educators. Clayman says she understands an oncologist's principle goal is to save lives, but she believes cancer treatment centers ought to make an institutional commitment to providing fertility information to patients. "The vast majority of patients are not going to say, 'No, no. It's going to ruin my fertility don't give me treatment.' It's not an either or," she says. There are a number of options in fertility preservation: women can freeze embryos or cryopreserve their eggs. Other more experimental options such as freezing ovarian tissue have also surfaced in the last year. Men concerned about fertility have the option of sperm banking. Sometimes preserving a patient's fertility can delay treatment, but for certain slow-growing cancers, a few weeks difference may not be significant. These are the types of conversations patients should be having with clinicians, says Clayman. Doctors often take measures to make certain that patients are comfortable and to ensure fewer long-term side effects. "For many people the possibility of being infertile because of their cancer can result in psychological pain throughout a lifetime," says Clayman. Quality of life is important to cancer patients, particularly survivors. "You don't just want to have a life after cancer, you want to have the best life you can have after cancer, and we want that for everybody. The best that they can have - whether that means being in less pain, or whether that means having less psychological distress or whether that means being able to build a family that they want to build," says Clayman. Article: 20th December 2013 www.usnews.com

Lesbian parents and sperm donors - Article in Family Law

Family Law (a leading monthly journal for UK family lawyers) has published an article by Natalie which discusses the landmark decision in same sex parenting case Re G and Re Z (2013) from earlier this year. You can read the article in full here. The case involved a lesbian couple (represented by the NGA team) who had conceived a son through an arrangement with a known donor. As civil partners, the two mothers benefited from the legal protection given by the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Act 2008 – they were the legal parents of the little boy, and named on his birth certificate. The genetic father applied to the court for ‘leave’ to make an application for contact rights, and the court had to decide whether – as a legal sperm donor – he should be allowed to apply against the wishes of the legal parents. The decision, published back in February, caused a storm at the time, covered by the main front page headline of the Daily Mail, as well as press statements from the HFEA and the British Fertility Society. Natalie’s article reflects on the significance of the decision and looks at why fertility law cases are causing such a challenge for the family courts. You can read more about known donor disputes on NatalieGambleAssociates website, or find out more about their family disputes services. Article: 13th December www.nataliegambleassociates.com Read more about Fertility Law at www.prideangel.com

My decision to freeze my eggs being single and age 40

It is a month after my 40th birthday and I have come to Valencia on a job, staying on for the appointment at IVI, the local branch of the Spanish fertility facility, known to insiders as miracle clinics. It has taken almost two years of sleeplessness to make this decision, to face the truth of my situation. While friends' lives have moved forward in unison and in neatly defined chapters – marriage, first home, first child, second home, second child – I have been unable to move forward with them. Alone at night, the thick walls of denial crumble down and I am paralysed with shock. It is as if I have crash-landed into my own future to find myself 40, single and childless. The sound of absence is deafening: like white noise, a droning, gentle at first, then louder like the song of the cicadas as dusk turns into darkness. "How did I get here?" I ask myself over and over. "How did I get left behind?" In my 20s and early 30s, I felt few maternal urges. The idea of breastfeeding, like a sow suckling a piglet, made me nauseous. Prams triggered low-grade, non-specific anxiety: they were vehicles of entrapment. The concept of a creature growing inside me was terrifying. But not as terrifying as the stagnating, desexualising effect that I feared nursing a baby would have on my relationships and my life. And so the years passed. But when, at 39, I split up with my boyfriend (his betrayal), the sadness hit hard. I mourned him, but the grief was magnified by a new loss: the option to have a family. I had lived 20 years of manic self-fulfilment, but now all those experiences I had so carefully curated for myself seemed egotistical, empty, without someone to pass them on to. I felt a new longing, not from my body, but from my heart and mind. So I have found myself stranded, single and 40, crushed up against the glass ceiling of my own biology. The passivity feels profoundly humiliating: a progressive draining of dignity and power. I cannot turn back, nor can I find it in myself to settle. I need to fall in love again, to have a baby. But the last year, punctuated by a chain of woeful dates, has been a painful process of letting go. My new love isn't coming. I know I must set myself free. If I have left it too late to have children, it is better to know, and try to move on. I'm scared that the sadness might overwhelm me. But there is no time left for denial. For the first time, I hear the sound of the clock. I am finally called into the doctor's office. Sick with nerves, I distract myself by imagining I'm a character in a Pedro Almodóvar film. We talk in English, but during the scan he dictates my follicular counts in Spanish to the nurses while I stare at the collage of baby photos on the wall. These will predict my fertility levels. When I overhear "muy, muy bueno", I hold my breath. My follicular count is 18, above average for my age. I have a good chance of getting pregnant, though I must also do hormone tests. If I decide to wait for a partner, I can freeze my eggs with a good chance of getting eight to 10, the ideal number to store, in one round. After years of agonising, my life has been changed in a few minutes. The fog in my brain evaporates. My future is opened out again. Back in London, I wait for the results of my hormone tests. My follicle-stimulating hormone count is 6.75 (the lower the number, the better) and my anti-mullerian hormone is 9.2. I spend the night Googling fertility sites and chatrooms, opening me up to an underworld of older women, desperate to conceive, their biological chances reduced to a confusing set of numbers. Both my counts turn out to be excellent for my age. I find research done at the Advanced Fertility Centre in Chicago: in under 35-year-olds, the number of eggs retrieved in women with a follicular count of 16-22 is 10; the IVF success rate for the same number of remaining follicles is 51%. I begin searching under the term "egg freezing". Two thousand babies have been born to date worldwide from frozen eggs for medical – fertility preservation prior to chemotherapy – or social reasons. But in the UK, up to December 2012, only 20 babies have been born to women from their own thawed eggs. But a new method freezing eggs, vitrification, in which eggs are flash-frozen in liquid nitrogen, has improved the chances of them thawing intact to around 95%, compared with 65% using the previous slow-freezing method. Moreover, trials in New York in 2006 found the same pregnancy rates occurring in IVF rounds from frozen eggs as fresh ones. Another study of 900 babies born from frozen eggs shows the same level of birth defects as babies derived from fresh ones. The technology is there and it is improving all the time. I ring private clinics worldwide. A nurse at a Californian centre tells me that of the 150 women whose eggs it has frozen, 21 have returned and 15 have had babies. The Lister Clinic in London, by contrast, has done only 20 thaws, with one pregnancy which ended in miscarriage. At IVI Spain, 800 women (mostly between 36 and 38) have frozen eggs for social reasons in the past four years, but only 21 have returned for treatment. Five healthy babies have been born from these. My best chance of having a baby, of course, is to get pregnant now, on my own. I try hard to contemplate this. But it's a decision that seems just too big and impractical for now. My course of action seems clear: freeze my eggs, and if I don't meet someone in the next few years, have a child with a sperm donor. After years of stasis, I have a clear goal. And it seems like the most important one of my life. Article: 14th December 2013 www.theguardian.com

Men wishing to be fathers should eat their greens - as its good for the baby's health

A potential father's diet prior to conception can play a crucial part in the health of his future children, new research has found. Dr Kimmins, of McGill University in Montreal, compared the health of mice born to fathers deficient in folic acid to that of pups sired by males with normal levels of the vitamin. All of the mothers had normal levels of folic acid. To the researcher’s surprise, the mice born to males low in folic acid were almost 30 per cent more likely to have birth defects, including some severe deformities of the spine and skull. Dr Kimmins said: ‘We were most taken aback by the increased incidence of birth defects. ‘Lots of attention has been paid to a mother’s health pre-conception yet the health of the father has been pretty much ignored Because men have their fertility through their life, they think they are good to go at any time and the focus has been on women because they are the incubators of the pregnancy. ‘But both men and women need to think about what they are doing pre-conception.’ The study, published in the journal Nature Communications, suggests that lack of folic acid makes subtle changes to the chemistry of the sperm’s DNA. Men who want to be fathers should also cut back on the junk food, say doctors These then have long-lasting consequences for the development of the unborn baby. Dr Kimmins said it is too early to advise prospective fathers to take supplements, instead they should eat their greens. Good sources of folic acid include broccoli, Brussels sprouts, spinach, asparagus and peas, as well as liver, chickpeas and brown rice. Article: 10th December 2013 www.dailymail.co.uk

Hypnotherapy during childbirth - Can labour be pain free?

Hypnosis for childbirth has garnered a lot of attention in recent years and even has a celebrity following with the likes of Kate Middleton and Kim Kardashian reportedly using the techniques to make their experiences easier. If you’re pregnant and worried about giving birth, you might have wondered if the techniques would work for you. Here, find out what hypnosis really is, how it works, and if it can really make labor pain-free. Fear causes pain Forget the image of a hypnotherapist waving a clock and taking control of your mind. “The definition of hypnosis is relaxation plus focus,” said Cynthia Overgard, founder of HypnoBirthing of Connecticut, a prenatal education center in Westport. Just like yoga requires relaxation and deep breathing during a physically challenging moment, hypnosis can do the same for the pregnant mom. HypnoBirthing, a specific hypnosis method and program, is based on the idea that fear and tension will cause pain. When a woman is in labor, oxytocin—an endorphin known as the feel-good, love hormone—not only produces contractions but can help the mother to have a safe, comfortable birth, according to Overgard. “Where birth ends up getting complicated for humans is that women often don’t feel 100 percent safe, trusting and relaxed,” she said. And when that happens, a woman’s body stops producing oxytocin. Adrenaline starts to rise, and it redirects blood flow away from the cervix and the uterus into the arms and legs. The result is a flight or fight response, which can make a woman feel anxious, fearful, and even prevent her cervix from dilating and slow down labor. “Adrenaline or fear, literally (and) physically, turns off labor,” Overgard said. “This goes way beyond just positive thinking. This really comes down to the chemical hormones. It’s a total, pure science.” How hypnosis can help HypnoBirthing uses tools like deep breathing, visualization and relaxation techniques that can help the woman maintain a calm body and mind. During labor, she might dim the lights, keep the room quiet and play relaxing music. Another major component of the program is listening to guided relaxation, which is an intentional way to practice hypnosis and condition the mind and body to be calm and relaxed. Mothers also listen to birth affirmations which can make them feel confident in their ability to give birth. “Your subconscious mind is hearing messages that bypass the conscious mind, and they change the beliefs in your mind,” Overgard said. Word choice is important Another focus of hypnosis is on the words used before and during labor and delivery. “The words we say and the words we hear have a direct impact on the physiology of our body,” Overgard said. In fact, when reassuring words are used as women were administered a local anesthetic, they experienced less pain, according to a study in the journal Anesthesia & Analgesia. “There are subtle ways that you can change the words that are used that can really change that whole experience,” said Dr. William Camann, co-author of the study and director of obstetric anesthesia at Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston, Mass. For example, in HypnoBirthing, “sensation” is used instead of “pain” and “surge” instead of “contraction.” Colin Christopher, a clinical hypnotherapist who works with expecting mothers throughout their pregnancies, said his clients have experienced shorter labors and a significant reduction in pain. In addition to relaxation techniques and visualization, he uses the hypno-epidural technique to simulate what an epidural would feel like. And instead of using the word “pain,” “we talk about allowing your body to become focused, calm and relaxed,” he said. Does it really work? According to the HypnoBirthing Institute, mothers who used the method were less likely to have cesarean sections, interventions and pre-term babies. Read more...

Brussel sprouts may increase fertility in both men and women

Many people shudder at the thought of Brussels sprouts with their minds conjure up images of bitter, overcooked school vegetables. But new research suggests that couples who are trying for a baby should tuck into a regular helping of the festive staple. According to studies, nine per cent of all conceptions take place over the Christmas period, making December the most fertile month of the year. Parties and festive tipples are thought to be partly responsible for this trend. However, Neema Savvides, a nutritional therapist at the Harley Street Fertility Clinic, says the increased consumption of sprouts could also play a role. She said: ‘Believe it or not, this green micro cabbage is a baby making super food. ‘Firstly, they are bursting with folic acid which is essential for boosting fertility in both men and women. ‘This vitamin rich source also increases sperm levels and helps line the womb with the right nutrients raising sperm survival chances. ‘Another benefit of this folic rich food is that it also helps to decrease the risk of miscarriages and birth defects.’ Brussels sprouts also contain a phytonutrient called di-indolylmethane, which helps women absorb balanced levels of the hormone oestrogen. In fact, it binds to environmental oestrogens, like pesticides and hormones in meat and dairy products, and helps rid the body of excess hormones – this boosts fertility. The vegetable is also thought to lower cholesterol levels and have anti-inflammatory properties. Article: 5th December 2013 www.dailymail.co.uk

Fertility doctors aim to reduce the rate of twins

Doctors are reporting an epidemic — of twins. Nearly half of all babies born with advanced fertility help are multiple births, new federal numbers show. In the five years since the "Octomom" case, big multiple births have gone way down but the twin rate has barely budged. Twins aren't always twice as nice; they have much higher risks of prematurity and serious health problems. Now fertility experts are pushing a new goal: One. A growing number of couples are attempting pregnancy with just a single embryo, helped by new ways to pick the ones most likely to succeed. New guidelines urge doctors to stress this approach. Abigail and Ken Ernst of Oldwick, N.J., did this to conceive Lucy, a daughter born in September. Using one embryo at a time "just seemed the most normal, the most natural way" to conceive and avoid a high-risk twin pregnancy, the new mom said. Not all couples feel that way, though. Some can only afford one try with in vitro fertilization, or IVF, so they insist that at least two embryos be used to boost their odds, and view twins as two for the price of one. Many patients "are telling their physicians 'I want twins,'" said Barbara Collura, president of Resolve, a support and advocacy group. "We as a society think twins are healthy and always come out great. There's very little reality" about the increased medical risks for babies and moms, she said. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's most recent numbers show that 46 percent of IVF babies are multiples — mostly twins — and 37 percent are born premature. By comparison, only 3 percent of babies born without fertility help are twins and about 12 percent are preterm. It's mostly an American problem — some European countries that pay for fertility treatments require using one embryo at a time. The American Society for Reproductive Medicine is trying to make it the norm in the U.S., too. Its guidelines, updated earlier this year, say that for women with reasonable medical odds of success, those under 35 should be offered single embryo transfer and no more than two at a time. The number rises with age, to two or three embryos for women up to 40, since older women have more trouble conceiving. To add heft to the advice, the guidelines say women should be counseled on the risks of multiple births and embryo transfers and that this discussion should be noted in their medical records. "I n 2014, our goal is really to minimize twins," said Dr. Alan Copperman, medical director of Reproductive Medicine Associates of New York, a Manhattan fertility clinic. "This year I'm talking about two versus one. Several years ago I was talking about three versus two" embryos. Article: 3rd December 2013 www.huffingtonpost.com

Pride Angel Journey | What do lesbians and babies have in common?

They all come out in the end... I was eight days overdue and the pressure was mounting – but unfortunately only metaphorical pressure rather than the literal pressure that might signal labour was imminent. Despite our hopes for the birth centre, induction and the labour ward was once again looming. Then, at bedtime, I sensed change. A slight abdominal ache, back pain, a heaviness between my legs. The next morning brought some splotches of a creamy, bloody stuff and I knew the time was nigh. I had a labour-inducing acupuncture session booked for that morning and, lying on the couch wired up, watching a muscle in my hand quite disconcertingly twitch of its own accord, I mused on how the £38 could perhaps have been more usefully spent. Back home, there was an ominous atmosphere. Looking outside, I expected to see a sky expectant of a storm, heavy and murderous, but the clouds were white and calm as if unaware of what was surely beginning inside me. Preparing lunch, I doubled over briefly – a sudden shooting pain in my abdomen. Just like I sometimes got with my period. Sudden and then gone. And then again, half an hour later. I made myself comfortable in the conservatory with a wheat pack on my abdomen and got my knitting out, ignoring the inkling that such behaviour merited my immediate removal to a retirement home. 8pm. After a shuffle round the streets for a bit of fresh air, we got the tens machine attached and settled down with a film - To Kill a Mockingbird - and popcorn. The pains were sharper now; when I felt them coming, I knelt on the floor and leant over my birthing ball. By 10pm the noise of the film was distracting and the popcorn was starting to make me feel sick. 11pm. The pains (I suspected they were contractions, but was reluctant to use the 'c' word in case they weren't) were stabbing and sudden and I was beginning to rethink my minimum pain-relief birth plan. Sally packed the car and ran me a bath. She phoned the midwife and explained that her partner was in labour (once again 'coming out' which it seemed happened every few days for one or both of us towards the end of our 'lesbian pregnancy'). The midwife told us it could be three or four days yet, so at midnight, we settled down in bed to try and get some rest. Article: by Lindsey, West Yorkshire 1st December 2013

Lesbian 'other mom' talks about what she feels thankful for

Thanksgiving was my adoptive mother's favorite holiday. I think of her often and miss her even as I wish for my other mother, my bio mom, during the holiday season. As a lesbian parent, I imagine my kids will have a similar experience of longing for two mothers; for each profound and each for different reasons. In many ways I'm the "other mother," with my ex-partner as the primary. And I often feel that I miss so much - that I focus on what I don't have much more easily, sometimes, than my blessings as a mom, now again a spouse, and a human being living in an auspicious time for gay rights and gay marriage. So, in keeping with the holiday, I've thought about some things that I am thankful for - in my personal parenting circumstance and also in our community. What are your experiences this holiday season? What specific gratitudes would you add to this list of things to be thankful for in the same-sex parenting community? 1. First and foremost, despite my struggles as the other mother in many respects, I am so thankful for my wife and her wondrous ability to co-parent. She graciously recognizes the privileges associated with being "primary" and sets them aside so that we can mother together--equally. Thank you. 2. I am so thankful that my children are close by. Long distance other-mothering from states away was narrowly avoided and I am so grateful to those who helped me help them stay close. Thus, even though I don't get to mother as equally as I would like for the kids from that former relationship, I get to see and spend time with them as often as I can. I can be involved in school and daily activities; I can attend events and grab a few hours for important milestones, share time on holidays, and even split Mother's Day....all things that would be impossible if they were further away. 3. I am so thankful that a certain county in Texas had a "loophole" in its policies that allowed me to legally adopt my own son at a time that same-sex families were not universally accepted. I question the fairness of having to adopt one's own child - planned, conceived, and born within a long-term relationship - but such is the case for now. I am glad I was able to secure the legal rights that have been essential in preserving my relationship with my child after the break up with my ex-partner. 4. I am thankful that we, as a community and as a society, are marching steadily toward marriage equality with of all of its rights, privileges and challenges. It will not be easy and I think we are more prepared for marriage than divorce, but that is an issue for another day. I am so grateful that I was able to legally and joyfully marry my wife in Canada--that we are recognized as a married couple federally after the end of DOMA. With each state that recognizes our union, our kids, our family, and our marriage is more secure. 5. Finally, I am thankful for this opportunity to discuss these and other issues via this blog so that you, the reader, can hear, bear witness, listen, challenge, and question the personal and community experiences I share. Together we will wrestle with all that can happen to mothers in lesbian relationships who are sidelined by their lack of biological connection to their children, and hopefully create a better understanding of what it really means to be a parent, period. As a result of our work, I hope that mental health counselors, psychologists, lawyers and judges can learn to help solidify families just like mine and maybe yours always holding the parent/child relationship above all else. I wish you and yours a wonderful holiday.

Fertility test to predict zero sperm viability for IVF

Scientists have developed a non-invasive test that can predict whether men with zero sperm counts are capable of fathering children through IVF. Current methods rely on surgery to find out if a man has viable sperm that can be retrieved for fertility treatment. The research, in Science Translational Medicine, suggests two biomarkers can identify who will benefit from surgery. A UK fertility expert said the test, which will take at least a year to bring to the clinic, was "encouraging". Male infertility is responsible for about half of cases of infertility. Men who produce no sperm can sometimes be helped to father a biological child through fertility treatment if they have normal sperm that can be extracted surgically. Others will never be able to father a child naturally and need to use donor sperm. With current technology, the only way to find out if a man has viable sperm is to carry out surgery to look for sperm in the testes. The new test, developed by scientists in Canada, has identified two biomarkers in sperm, which can be used to predict whether sperm retrieval will be successful. Dr Keith Jarvi of the Lunenfeld-Tanenbaum Research Institute, Mount Sinai Hospital in Toronto, Canada, said the holy grail of his research was to find a way to help men avoid unnecessary testicular biopsies. He told BBC News: "The benefit of this is that we can predict without surgery whether or not a man has sperm or does not have sperm in the testicles. "You could avoid unnecessary surgery for a number of these men." He said work was under way to adapt the test for use in fertility clinics. "Optimistically, it would be a year away," he added. "Pessimistically, two years - we're moving along really quickly." Dr Allan Pacey, senior lecturer in andrology at the University of Sheffield and chairman of the British Fertility Society, said the diagnosis of male infertility was tricky and it was hard to determine whether a man was producing sperm or not. The conventional method was to first examine semen under a microscope to see if sperm was there, he said. If no sperm was seen, the next step was to take tissue from a man's testicle and examine it with a microscope. "Quite understandably, many men would rather not undergo this procedure if they didn't have to," said Dr Pacey. "Therefore, having an accurate biochemical test which might help doctors advise men whether taking a piece of the testicle is worth doing or not, would be very useful. "It could help men make better decisions, avoid unnecessary surgical procedures and potentially help save money by not having to do surgical procedures that aren't needed. "The fact that two protein markers present in semen can be so well correlated with whether sperm are likely to be found is very encouraging indeed." Article: 21st November 2013 www.bbc.co.uk

'Generation Cyro' MTV reality series follows sperm donor kids

The MTV reality series Generation Cyro, premiering Monday, follows teenagers conceived via sperm donor searching for their half-siblings and donor parents. Marlow Stern spoke with several of the teens featured on the show, as well as the head of the Donor Sibling Registry (DSR), about life as donor children. Generation Cryo was green-lit two years ago in the wake of the great sperm donor craze of 2010, which saw films like The Kids Are All Right, The Switch, and The Backup Plan tackle the topic of donor insemination, which in turn led to a bevy of media coverage. And, as LGBT equality becomes increasingly the cultural norm, we’ll be seeing more and more families with same-sex parents, and more and more of these same-sex families turning to donor insemination. According to recent studies, 40 percent of same sex couples between the ages of 22 and 55 are raising children, but only about 5 percent of those kids are adopted. Generation Cryo doesn’t explore the larger issues, instead opting for a more personal approach. The show follows Breeanna—or Bree, for short—a 17-year-old native of Reno, Nevada. Bree’s a slightly introverted young woman with piercings. Through a combination of real-life scenes and Real World-esque testimonials, we learn that she was raised primarily by her two lesbian moms, and that she’s very eager to connect with not only her half-siblings, but find out who her donor was. So, Bree logs on to the DSR and discovers she has (at least) 15 half-siblings under donor #1096. The first half-siblings she connects with are a brother-sister combo in Atlanta, Georgia, who are both 17 as well. They go by the names Jonah and Hilit, and are very laid-back. They’re also practicing Jews, which comes as a bit of a shock to Bree. They get along famously, and welcome Bree into their home. After a few days, Bree even feels comfortable enough around them to come out as a lesbian, and admits she’s been too scared or unprepared to date a girl yet. The three seem, in the show, to share a bond with one another. They see physical similarities, as well. “We actually have cut-outs of eyes, noses, and mouths of different siblings, and we’ve been piecing them together to see whose look like one another’s,” Jonah tells The Daily Beast. According to Hilit, Bree and Jonah’s eyes are virtually identical. Article: 25th November 2013 www.thedailybeast.com Watch the trailer now at www.mtv.com

Egg timer fertility test in Australia may mislead women

A popular fertility test designed to tell a woman how long she has left to fall pregnant is providing inaccurate and misleading results, creating a wave of panic among women in their 30s and 40s, Australia's leading fertility expert, Dr Anne Clarke, said. Dr Clarke, medical director of Fertility First in Sydney, said a recent British study, plus anecdotal evidence, had found the simple blood test, known as the Egg Timer Test, was unreliable and becoming discredited worldwide. ''I have big concerns about its accuracy,'' she said. ''I'm seeing a lot of women turning up at my clinic in an incredibly distressed state and highly depressed because they've been told the test showed they had no chance of having a baby. It's wrong and misleading.'' Among them was a 40-year-old Sydney woman who was told by her GP in April last year that the test, which measures the level of anti-mullerian hormone (AMH) in the blood, showed her ovarian reserve was dangerously low. Further analysis revealed she was very fertile and well within the normal range, Dr Clarke said. The Egg Timer Test - which costs about $70 - was pioneered by Adelaide clinic Repromed in 2004, to measure the number of eggs a woman had and predict how many child-bearing years she had left. With thousands of women rushing to take the test, other companies entered the market, but Dr Kelton Tremellen, of Repromed, said they were not always reliable. ''[If it's not done properly] one person's blood test can be analysed and get two vastly different results,'' he said. Results could be compromised, for example, if a woman had been on the pill. Dr Clarke added that inaccurate readings also occurred when the blood was stored incorrectly or the hormone not analysed immediately. Article: 23rd November 2013 www.smh.com.au

A new trend for 'Fertility MOTs'

It's not breaking news that women are leaving starting a family until later. But it can be a bit of a gamble to assume you'll be able to have a baby when you choose to – especially if it's when you're a bit older. A new trend for 'Fertility MOTs' suggests couples are becoming less complacent and are keen to find out if everything is in working order, even before they have any intention of starting a family. Mrs Yasmin Sajjad, fertility consultant at Spire Liverpool Hospital, says: "The growing popularity of our fertility MOTs reflects a rising trend of young couples and singles seeking peace of mind on their fertility status." There is less complacency, as more and more couples suffer from infertility – almost 40,000 British women had IVF in 2011. Gone are the days when women think: "I'll be fine, I'm fit, I don't drink much, I don't smoke, I exercise..." In fact, women in their mid to late thirties are more likely to have a friend – or several – who have had problems conceiving and are less likely to assume they will have no problems. "At 25 to 27 years old a woman's fertility is already starting to decline", explains Yasmin. "Upon reaching 35, chances of conception have often halved. Women who take an early assessment of their fertility can make informed decisions about their options later down the line, including the possibility of having eggs frozen for a later date." The NHS will, in some cases, provide an assessment for free. But in most cases, women or couples will need to book into a private clinic or hospital. Clinics and hospitals offering the service, which costs in the region of £200-£400, include: Yasmin also adds that they have seen an increase in the use of the clinic by couples in the middle of trying for a family. "Many couples are leaving it later to try for children, which simply put means they can't afford to wait around. If they have been trying for a year with no success then they should visit a GP, but often taking this route can mean they end up on waiting lists for tests and to see a fertility expert. "This wait can mean the difference between having a child and not, as some couples have left it too close in terms of their fertility or accessing IVF on the NHS, where the cut off for funding is often around the age of 40. This means that the women should be referred for assisted conception treatment at least six months before their 40th birthday." So what sort of test do these MOTs actually include? Usually, the tests will just take an hour or so and you'll be asked to come back and discuss the results in a follow up appointment. A blood test for anti-Mullerian hormone (AMH) is often carried out, to check egg reserve, an ultrasound scan is also sometimes done for the same reason and to check blood flow, ovulation, womb lining, blood flow to the womb and exclude any abnormalities (immediate result). Tubal patency tests are also sometimes included. For men, a semen analysis is usually offered. But what are the downsides of this kind of test? We asked Ffyona McKeating, creator of the non-profit website Fertility Fighters. "I think they can be a good idea, but there is a danger that someone will be lulled into a false sense of security of thinking that all is well, when it isn't. These tests won't show immune issues or many others that we come across on the forum – and a third of infertility is idiopathic anyway, meaning these tests wouldn't shed any light at all. "The biggest cause of infertility is egg quality – many women would do as well to have their eggs frozen as have a test like this, giving them all the time in the world. You freeze your eggs at 30, and you can have those children at 50 if you want with pretty much the same success rate as a 30 year old!" Erica, 34, and Ken Wilson, 35, have undergone a Fertility MOT to allow them to plan when to start trying to conceive. Erica Wilson used the fertility MOT to help make an informed decision on when she and her husband should start trying for children. She says: "I came to Spire a few years ago for a fertility MOT at the age of 31. I was keen to see if there were any issues, and help become better informed so myself and my husband Ken could find out when we should start trying for children. It ended up being a very good decision because we found out early on that there were problems and it has given us time to address this." Erica is now going through a treatment called ICSI, Intra-cytoplasmic sperm injection. This involves injecting a single sperm into an egg in order to fertilise it. It's then transferred back to the woman's womb as an embryo. "So far we have undergone a few treatments of ICSI through the NHS", Erica says. "The treatment went smoothly but unfortunately it hasn't worked. It's now been diagnosed by Mrs Sajjad that I have certain cells, which identify the embryo being put back in my womb as a foreign body and I am now on a course of steroid treatment which should prevent this. "Ken and I are now really hopeful that we can start a family and having a fertility MOT has given us the time to solve the issues, and have a good chance at trying for a family before time and the odds are against us." Article: 21st November 2013 www.parentdish.co.uk Read more about checking your fertility at www.prideangel.com

Many delay having children without understanding fertility decline

Many people may be delaying having children without fully understanding how much fertility is impacted by age, a new study suggests. Researchers in Australia questioned college students about their plans to have children. They found that, on average, the students planned to start their families at the age of 29 and finish having children by the age of 34. However, they were then shown a simple online brochure that included facts about age-related fertility decline and IVF (in vitro fertilisation) success rates. When asked the same questions again, the students lowered the age they said intended to start having children, to 28, and also lowered the age they wanted to finish having children by, to 33. According to the researchers, this study shows that when it comes to fertility issues, a little knowledge can have a big impact on family planning. "This study suggests that many people may be delaying having children without fully understanding fertility decline, and with unrealistically optimistic views of the 'safety net' provided by reproductive technology," they commented. They added that increasing awareness of fertility issues ‘is essential for ensuring young women and men can make informed reproductive decisions and could ultimately have a big impact on society'. Details of these findings are published in the journal, Fertility and Sterility. Article: 19th November 2013 www.irishhealth.com Read more about sperm donation and co-parenting at www.prideangel.com

Chinese herbal medicine helped a third of infertile women conceive

Fifty childless women who sought fertility treatment at Baptist University's traditional Chinese medicine clinics are said to have been able to conceive naturally after six months' treatment. They account for more than 30 per cent of the 145 local and mainland women aged between 22 and 45 who were prescribed customised herbal medicine by the clinics in a bid to increase their chances of pregnancy. Some of their babies are now a year old. "The figure indicates that traditional Chinese medicine plays a key role in fertility medication," said Li Xiaoguang, a senior lecturer who specialises in gynaecology at the university's School of Chinese Medicine. "TCM helps to regulate the functional capacity of patients in terms of their liver, kidneys and ovaries," she added. Clinic records from October 2011 to February this year showed 50 women became pregnant after going on a course of herbal medicine for an average of six months. The other patients had either given up or treatment was still ongoing. Li said women aged 36 to 40 had the highest success rate, at 46.2 per cent. For those over 40, the success rate was 27.8 per cent. "Older patients may take longer to regulate how their body's function," added Li. "This group of patients is advised to be persistent in their medication once they have started the course." Most of the 50 women who did conceive had relied solely on Chinese medicine, while another five underwent Western therapies such as in vitro fertilisation at the same time. "There is no contradiction in adopting TCM along with Western medical procedures, as long as the patients make it known to their doctors," Li said. "TCM can be used to support and co-ordinate with these Western treatments." One in six couples in the city, or 16 per cent, are infertile, according to data from the Council on Human Reproductive Technology under the Department of Health. Infertility is diagnosed when a couple fail to have a baby after more than two years of regular sex without contraceptives. Li said most of the female cases were attributed to a decline in the functioning of the ovaries and "kidneys" - meaning the reproductive system - due to delaying attempts to start a family. The condition could also be aggravated by pressure, she said. Article: 17th November 2013 www.scmp.com

Asthma may increase risk of infertility in women study shows

The risk of delay is greater in women over the age of 30, and whose condition is untreated. Scientists believe the inflammation characteristic of asthma is likely to have an effect on fertility. Researchers studied data on 15,000 female twins from Denmark with an average age of 27 who filled in health and lifestyle questionnaires. All the women were asked if they had tried to get pregnant for more than a year without success. Twins were used in the study to take account of genetic and lifestyle factors that might affect pregnancy. A total of 995 participants had a history of asthma. Of this group, 27% experienced delayed pregnancy compared with 21.6% of non-asthma sufferers, a significant difference. Undergoing asthma treatment reduced the chances of waiting for pregnancy to 23.8% compared with 30.5% for women not receiving treatment. Women above the age of 30 had a stronger tendency towards taking longer to conceive. However, the overall results showed that women with asthma gave birth to the same average number of children as those without the condition. This was because they were more likely to try for a family at a younger age, when women are more fertile, said the researchers writing in the European Respiratory Journal. Lead scientist Dr Elisabeth Juul Gade, from Bispebjerg University Hospital in Denmark, said: “Our results shed light on the complex interactions between fertility and asthma. Although we observed women with asthma experiencing longer waiting times to pregnancy, our findings suggest that if women take their medication and control their asthma, they can reduce this delay. “As the negative effect of asthma on fertility is reduced by treatment, we can assume that the systemic inflammation characterised by asthma may account for the effect on delaying fertility. “Despite the delay, our overall results suggest that women with asthma had the same number of children, which is due to the fact that they tend to conceive at an earlier age compared to those without, getting a head start on their reproductive life.” Deborah Waddell, from the charity Asthma UK, said: “This study suggests that uncontrolled asthma might be associated with women taking longer to get pregnant, though reassuringly there is also evidence that getting the asthma under control can reduce this delay. “We know that good asthma management is vital for the health of both mother and baby, and mums-to-be should continue to use their asthma medication during pregnancy. Women who are looking to conceive and are worried about their asthma should speak to their GP or asthma nurse, and can also call our Asthma UK Helpline on 0800 121 62 44 to speak to a specialist asthma nurse.” Article: 14th November 2014 www.nursingtimes.net Read more about nutrition and fertility at www.prideangel.com

Pride Angel Journey | When a biro cross changes everything

At thirty-six weeks pregnant, I’d never been so grateful for the Easter holidays. We fitted the baby seat in the car, packed my hospital notes and went to visit my parents in Cumbria. On Easter Monday, determined not to let my depleted lung space and cumbersome bump hold me back, I joined the family (albeit slowly) climbing up Hoad Hill, near Ulverston. We watched children roll their ‘pace eggs’ – painted hard-boiled eggs – down the hill, a local Easter Monday tradition which I’d taken part in myself as a child. Another reminder of that distant world of childhood in which we were soon to be immersed: our little family – two lesbian mummies and baby. Two days later I was back at the hospital for my weekly scan. Amniotic fluid still low. Still under consultant care. Still down for induction at forty weeks. We e-mailed the sperm donor to update him: it had been a few months since we’d had contact and he was probably wondering how things were going. And I continued to drink pint after pint of water, just in case it might help. At thirty-eight weeks, I’d been away from work for thirteen days. Despite having waded through a large pile of A’ level coursework with my red pen, I was well-rested and I’d drunk enough water over the past week or so to fill a small lake. The radiographer handed me my notes and we shuffled through the paperwork to the fluid graph. A new biro cross, on the edge, but within the normal band. Excitement was starting to build. In the registrar’s office we could barely get the words out quickly enough: “Does this mean we can go to the birth centre?” That spa-like sanctuary, tucked away in the depths of the busy hospital. A little haven where I could crawl into a corner and give birth like a hunter-gatherer woman in the woods. “There’s no reason why not.” From what we’d read, it’s very difficult to take accurate readings of amniotic fluid levels. I don’t know whether I was once short of the stuff or whether the measurements were never actually reliable anyway. But we were back on track for our midwife-led intervention-free birth. Ecstatic, we almost skipped along the magnolia corridors to introduce ourselves at the birth centre. Article: 12th November 2013 by Lindsey, West Yorkshire Read more Lesbian parenting blogs at www.prideangel.com

Babies from donor sperm in USA are big business

Todd Whitehurst was a young grad student at Stanford when he began donating sperm to pay his way through school. “I went about 3.5 years, two or three times a week,” said Whitehurst, who estimated he’d raked in more than $12,000. Then six years ago, Whitehurst, 48, married with children and living in Los Gatos, Calif., was contacted by a 14-year-old girl who said she was his daughter and that she had obtained his information from the cryobank he’d visited. “My first reaction was just to be stunned,” Whitehurst said. “I would say I was kind of shocked at first but really happy about it overall.” With more than 300 sperm banks expected to rake in a third of $1 billion this year, sperm donation births are a big business in the United States. ABC News learned of at least five individuals who had fathered more than 100 children and one individual who had fathered nearly 200. “It’s the wild, wild west of regulation,” said Deborah Spar, president of Barnard College and author of “The Baby Business.” “There’s essentially no sheriff in town. There’s virtually no regulation in this area, which has become quite large, quite lucrative and is literally involved in the most intimate area of people’s lives.” Sperm banks test for about a half-dozen diseases, including HIV, but there are many more, such as diabetes, that they don’t. There is no genetic testing and there is no limit on the number of children a donor can father, Spar said. In other countries, however, there are legal limits on the number of children a sperm donor can have — in the U.K., it’s 10 — and children have a right to know who their biological fathers are and be able to obtain his health records. “In England and most of Europe, it’s illegal to have anonymous sperm donation,” Spar said. In the U.S. where there are more than 2 million children born from donated sperm, there are no official records that connect them to their biological fathers. The private Donor Sibling Registry allows them to connect to their fathers and to their half-siblings, with their permission. In 13 years, the registry says more than 10,000 donors and children or siblings have connected to one another. Article: 6th November 2013 www.abcnews.go.com Read more about known sperm donation in US, Canada, Europe, Australia and UK at www.prideangel.com

http://blogs.prideangel.com/post/2013/11/Chinas-pollution-blamed-for-infertility-and-low-sperm-counts.aspx

Pollution in China’s most populated city is being blamed for a fertility crisis as the incidence of low sperm counts among its men reaches record levels. Only a third of the semen at Shanghai's main sperm bank, run by Dr Li, currently meets World Health Organisation standards. And smog levels are rising. City authorities warned schools to cancel outdoor activities as Shanghai’s air quality levels were reported to be twice as bad as those in Beijing on Thursday. A 2012 study, coordinated by Dr Li, concluded that over the last ten years, worsening environmental conditions were keeping pace with the falling quality of sperm and aspermia, a condition that causes men to produce no semen at all. A year ago, China's infertility rate stood at 12.5 per cent of people of childbearing age, according to China state news agency Xinhua. Twenty years ago it was just three per cent. 'When the environment is bad, sperm becomes “ugly” and even stops swimming,' Dr Li told the Post. 'To find out whether an eco-system is stable or not, just examine the sperm.' The Chinese Academy of Social Sciences has announced a five-year study into the connection between female infertility and pollution. Meanwhile the Shanghai Morning Post urged its readers to lead greener lives in order to protect future generations. 'In the view of reproductive health experts, loving the earth means loving oneself and, what's more, loving the next generation.' Article: 7th November 2013 www.dailymail.co.uk Read more about testing your sperm count at www.prideangel.com

Single mum by choice achieves her dream of a family

Four years ago, Margaret Ambrose thought life couldn't get much worse. In the space of a year, she turned 40, her dog died and her long-term relationship broke down while she was preparing to start IVF. The Melbourne journalist who was yearning to be a mother thought she was facing a childless future. ''I thought there goes my dream of having kids,'' she said. ''I was 40 at the time so I thought, realistically, by the time I find someone, date them, decide to commit, how old will I be?'' Not content with her chances of finding a man in time to conceive, Ms Ambrose decided to join a growing band of single women who are using sperm donors to embark on motherhood alone. According to new figures from the Victorian Assisted Reproductive Treatment Authority, single women and lesbians are behind a huge rise in the number of Victorians using sperm donors to conceive children since a new law gave them access to IVF treatment in 2010. Before the change, women had to be deemed medically infertile to use IVF in Victoria - a rule that excluded women without male partners. The change has caused demand for sperm to soar in Victoria. Last financial year, the sperm of 445 men was available in clinics, up from 192 the year before. Newly recruited donors have also surged from 38 in 2011-12 to 64 last year. The number of women who used their sperm has increased from 452 in 2008-09 to 1901 last year, leading to 318 pregnancies. At first, Ms Ambrose said the list of potential donors at an IVF clinic was confronting. Instead of being overwhelmed by profiles of tall, dark, handsome professional men, she found just two out of about 20 who seemed suitable. ''I was so traumatised when I saw the list that I called a girlfriend to come over. She said let's start by you telling me what you don't want and I'll eliminate them. It was so funny, I remember her saying 'I assume you don't want one who can't fill out the form properly?''' But within months, Ms Ambrose had chosen a donor who shared her values and his sperm was being used to create embryos in a laboratory. It took just three IVF cycles for her to fall pregnant with her daughter Greta, who is now three. When Greta was one, she returned for a second baby and had Rori, who is now 15 months old. Ms Ambrose said although being a single mother was difficult in some ways, her mother and friends had helped her raise her two girls who are now ''the loves of my life''. ''In a way being single is harder, but it's also easier. You don't have someone else to factor into decisions and negotiate with. I never have to have conversations about whether we tell the girls about God or Santa. It's like I'm the dictator of my own little world,'' she said. However, Ms Ambrose said there had been some hard times and she still hoped to meet a man who would be a father to her girls. Read more ... Article: 6th November 2013 www.theage.com

IVF treatment by injecting sperm used too often by fertility clinics

A technique for injecting sperm directly into unfertilised eggs to increase the chances of a successful IVF pregnancy is being used too widely by some fertility clinics, the head of the Government's fertility watchdog has warned. Lisa Jardine, who chairs the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority (HFEA), said that some IVF clinics are using intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI) simply because it is easier than standard IVF, rather than because it is in the best interests of patients. "We believe it is being used far too widely because it is procedurally easy," Professor Jardine said. "The scientists who advocate it already know that a boy born through ICSI is likely to have a low sperm count. So it is a little bit worrying that it is being rolled out so widely." She recently warned on BBC Radio 4 that success rates for couples, who typically spend around £15,000 for three cycles of treatment, are "discouragingly low". ICSI was first introduced about 20 years ago, since when its use has become widespread. In 2011, more than half of the nearly 62,000 cycles of fertility treatment, involving just over 48,000 women in Britain, were done with ICSI, rather than letting the sperm penetrate the egg naturally. In many other countries – in North America and Europe for instance – the figure is even higher, with ICSI being used in as many as 90 to 95 per cent of IVF cycles. Yet some studies suggest that IVF children born from ICSI may be at higher risk of medical problems as they grow older, including male infertility. "We know that babies born from ICSI have increased risk of some problems later in life and infertility is one of them," said Allan Pacey, chairman of the British Fertility Society and an IVF specialist at Sheffield University. "For these reasons we should be prudent over the use of ICSI. So let's use ICSI when it's needed, and not as some kind of guarantee against fertilisation failure, which is how some clinics approach it." Professor Jardine, who steps down as chair of the HFEA in the new year, said she shares the concerns of some experts, who believe that many fertility clinics are opting to use ICSI simply because it is easier to achieve rapid fertilisation of an egg, rather than using it specifically as a treatment for male infertility. About half of the couples given ICSI have male-related fertility problems, while about 12 per cent have joint male and female factors, and 10 per cent have specifically female fertility problems. In 20 per cent of cases, ICSI is used for "unexplained" reasons, according to data gathered by the HFEA. One of the pioneers of ICSI, André Van Steirteghem of the Brussels Free University Centre for Reproductive Medicine, warned in 2010 that IVF clinics are routinely overusing the treatment despite the risk of long-term health problems in the children conceived by the technique. "The health of children has to be considered the most important outcome of artificial reproductive technology treatment. It's fair to say that overall these children do well [but] there are a few more problems with these children," Dr Van Steirteghem said. "It doesn't mean that when you use ICSI there will be more problems, but it is important that we have to see what comes about in the future, so long-term monitoring is extremely important. ICSI has been overused," said Dr Van Steirteghem. He advises the HFEA on new developments in fertility treatment. However, Professor Pacey said that Britain is one country that is probably not overusing ICSI overall: "As a country overall we've got it about right, because about half of the fertility problems are male related and half are female related, and there is a 50:50 split between ICSI and conventional IVF." "But there may be some individual clinics that are doing it more than they should. They are frightened of fertilisation failing. The HFEA should be focusing on these individual clinics with high ICSI levels," he added. Article: 4th November 2013 www.independent.co.uk

The Fertility Show 2nd-3rd November 2013, Olympia, London

Whether you’re just thinking about starting a family or have been trying for ages, find out what you need to know at The Fertility Show. - 100 exhibitors with doctors, clinicians, practitioners and fertility experts available on their stands - 60 talks from from some of the world's leading fertility specialists - just £ 1 each! - Medical and complementary alternatives - Leading UK and overseas clinics - Fertility assessments and treatments - Advice for everyone including single women and same sex couples - Now in its 5th year - Admission price: £11 Pride Angel, the leading connection website for people wishing to find known sperm donors, egg donors or co-parents are exhibiting at stand 75. Come and speak to us about your fertility options whether you are gay, single or an infertile couple? Seminars Sunday 13.45-14.30 Lesbian family building and the legal aspects of Alternative Parenting. Natalie Gamble, prominent lesbian mother of two, campaigner and founder of leading fertility law firm Natalie Gamble Associates, talks through legal parenthood and parental responsibility, the options of known vs unknown donation (including recent court decisions on donor disputes), how the law has changed in the last 10 years, and her own experiences of building an alternative family. Sunday 15.45-16.30 Going solo: law and options for women starting a family on their own Natalie Gamble, leading UK fertility lawyer and prominent campaigner for alternative families, talks through how the law may impact on your choices for starting a family, including the options of known vs unknown donation, accessing treatment through a clinic in the UK or going abroad for treatment. Article: 2nd November 2013 www.fertilityshow.co.uk

Deciding upon Donor Conception: The Future of the Child

The decision to have a child is one of the most important decisions you will ever make. Having a child is a strong desire for most individuals, although some are unfortunately unable to do so on their own. If that is the case for you, then donor conception might be a concept that you have thought about or that you are highly considering. If so, you might be wondering how donor conception could affect your child later in life. This article will discuss some of the effects that donor conception might have on a child, as well as tips on how to prepare yourself for explaining donor conception to your child. What is donor conception? Donor conception is the use of donated sperm, embryos, or eggs in order to conceive a child. Common forms of donor conception include surrogacy, in vitro fertilization, and sperm donation. A surrogate mother is often used when a female cannot carry to term her own child, and she wants to have a child with her own genetics. In vitro fertilization occurs when the male’s sperm is not able to conceive a child; therefore the female is injected with the sperm of a donor. And lastly, sperm donation is also common among lesbian couples and single women who do not have a partner and would like to have a child. How will it affect my child? If you are planning to use donor conception, there are a few questions you will need to ask yourself beforehand, such as the following: Who will tell my child that they are a “donor” child? Will I share that information with family and friends or simply keep it private? How can I prepare myself to explain the situation to my child properly? Will I be open from the start with my child? There are many questions, but answering these few beforehand will prepare you for the process, as well as help you to make the decision in a more educated way. Another aspect to consider when considering donor conception is whether or not your child will want to know about his/her donor. If the child does want to know about the donor, it is important that you understand the process of recovering that information. When your child is 18, they will have access to the donor registry with information about their donor, as well as information about any donor siblings. This information is stored by HFEA, the Human Fertilization and Embryology Authority. The information is separated into two categories: non identifying information and identifying information. Non identifying information will include the physical appearance, number of children, and ethnic group of that donor while the identifying information will include the last known address, name, and date of birth of the donor. It is important that you are aware of this information and this process, and also that you receive counseling and guidance before making the decision to conceive by donor conception. Article: 31st October 2013 by Tess Young About the Author Tess Young is a freelance writer and blogger. Some of the topics that she writes about include technology, home design, travel and health. She suggests looking at the information provided by California Cryobank regarding the effects of donor conception in order to learn more about the process.

LGBT families and children can benefit from picture books designed for them

LGBT families and children can benefit from picture books that are designed to cater for them. I once asked a lesbian I know who is raising children with her wife what her favourite LGBTQ picture books were. She told me she didn’t have any. I wondered why not and she replied, “Because my kids can see their lesbian mums at home. They don’t need to read about it, too.” This answer shocked me, because we know that children want and need to see reflections of themselves and their families in the books they read (and also in the TV shows and films they watch). If they don’t see people who are like them, they begin to worry if they are abnormal, or if something is wrong with themselves or their families. They may also feel lonely and scared. Families with two mums or two dads have generally thought a lot about how to make and raise their children and also about how to explain their family set-ups to their kids. They generally have a sense of when it might be appropriate to tell their kids about, say, surrogates or sperm donors, or how to explain adoption or in-vitro fertilisation. But they don’t always know what to do beyond the factual level. And this is where fiction comes in. Fiction is a wonderful tool that lets readers of all ages learn and try out new experiences and ideas, but it also helps readers feel comforted or entertained. For children of LGBTQ parents, literature helps them realise just how normal and acceptable their families are. For example, the children of the lesbian I previously mentioned might not know any other kids with two mums or two dads, and they might worry that their family is weird or is something to be ashamed of. If they had access to books that featured other families like theirs, they would know that they aren’t the only children to have two mums or the only children to have been created using sperm from a donor who deposited at a fertility clinic. Literature would connect them to other people who are like them, and this would give them confidence about their lives and their situations. So what are some of the best LGBTQ picture books? Not all of them feature LGBTQ parents, but even the ones that don’t will help remind children that there is nothing immoral or strange about being LGBTQ and also that LGBTQ people have lives that aren’t so different from heterosexual or cisgender lives. Here are a few of my favourites: Donovan’s Big Day by Lesléa Newman: Newman is arguably the preeminent author of LGBTQ books for children and some of her other texts are worth getting too (such as Mommy, Mama, and ME). In this book, Donovan has an important role to play in his mothers’ wedding. There is no need for Newman to explain why Donovan has two mums or why they are getting married; rather, it is just assumed that this is normal and acceptable, which is a great step forward for children’s literature. This book works well because it focuses on Donovan and his experiences on this big day. The Purim Superhero by Elisabeth Kushner: Nate wants to be an alien in the Purim costume parade, but all the other boys are dressing as superheroes. His two fathers and sister encourage him to be himself and to do what he wants, but he worries he will feel too different if he does. As in Newman’s book, Kushner does not defend or explain Nate’s family set-up and instead just talks about Nate’s feelings regarding fitting in. It is also a useful book because it is one of the few LGBTQ books to feature a character who isn’t Christian. 10,000 Dresses by Marcus Ewert: This is one of the very few picture books to feature the T in LGBTQ. Bailey dreams of dresses, but her family does not accept her for who she is. They insist that she is a boy who should avoid girlish things. She finally finds support from a friend. This book would be especially useful for genderqueer children or for the children of trans or genderqueer parents, and it is one of the best trans books available for younger readers. The Family Book by Todd Parr: Parr often features LGBTQ families in his work (see We Belong Together too). In this one, he depicts a variety of families, assuring child readers that there are many types of families and that they are all equally valid. His illustrations are bold and bright and will hold a child’s attention. King and King by Linda De Haan and Stern Nijland: A prince’s mother tells him it is time to get married, but he does not like any of the princesses she offers him. He does, however, like one of the princesses’ brothers. The two princes marry and live happily ever after. In the sequel, King and King and Family, the two princes adopt a child. In sum, there are some wonderful LGBTQ picture books available and families with two mums or two dads (or other variations on LGBTQ set-ups) would be doing their children a great service by having such books in their house. After all, you see heterosexual families everywhere – in most books and most TV shows and films – and it’s time for children with LGBTQ parents to have a chance to see reflections of themselves and their families too. Article: 30th October 2013 www.pinksnews.co.uk

Women age 35-45 feel judged for leaving it too late to have children

More than 60 per cent of women aged 35 to 45 who do not have children but want them feel judged for ‘leaving it too late’, a poll has found. The survey of 500 women who wanted children – including those undergoing treatment or still looking for the right partner – revealed friends and family are the ones who put the most pressure on, with 40 per cent saying they were too embarrassed to talk about fertility, even to those closest to them. Of those women who had already undergone fertility treatment, almost half waited four months or longer before a clinical assessment and nearly a third waited more than a year before receiving any treatment. The research was carried out by Infertility Network UK, with funding from pharmaceutical company Merck Serono, to tie in with National Infertility Awareness Week, which runs until Sunday and aims to highlight the impact infertility has on people’s lives, explain what options are out there for people struggling to conceive, and get more people talking about the subject. Clare Lewis-Jones, chief executive of the support organisation, said: “We need to promote a more open discussion about fertility. “Feelings of embarrassment and being judged are ultimately preventing some women seeking the help they need for their fertility problems.” The News spoke to a 40-year-old Cambridge woman who is currently trying for a child and has had fertility tests, but wished to remain anonymous. She said: “I am very lucky that I have family members who work in the medical profession and I can speak openly about this subject but I know it is not easy. “There is a perception in society, and I think the media has a lot to do with this, that if you are not married and with a child by a certain age then you are some sort of spinster. “Women are judged, particularly by men and there is pressure. While science has developed in the form of fertility treatments, there is still some way to go for attitudes to catch up, so no wonder it can be scary asking your doctor about it. “I think it would help if there were more ways to approach experts anonymously to begin with as one of the most important things is knowing your options.” Cambridgeshire’s Bourn Hall was where IVF pioneers gynaecologist Patrick Steptoe and reproductive biologist Robert Edwards founded a clinic and first developed the techniques and drugs now used worldwide to successfully fertilise a human egg outside the body and transfer the resulting embryo to the womb. IVF is just one of a number of fertility treatments now available, and Bourn Hall is the largest provider of NHS funded IVF treatment for patients in the East of England. A spokesman for the clinic, which is also backing the first ever Infertility Awareness Week, said: “We recommend if you are concerned about your fertility you speak to your GP who, if appropriate, will then refer you to a consultant at your local hospital. “We work closely with hospitals across the region to offer continuity of care. If you are referred for IVF treatment, you can normally get an appointment with Bourn Hall within a few weeks.” Various activities are set to run during the week, both online and off, and are open to all. Amateur chefs are invited to take part in the ‘Great Cake Bake’ by holding their own cake bake – email admin@infertilitynetworkuk.com and the team will send a ‘Great Cake Bake’ pack with poster and sheet of rice paper cake toppers to help decorate your cakes. Article: 28th October 2013 www.cambridge-news.co.uk Read more about improving your chances of conceiving using the DuoFertility monitor

Support National Infertility Awareness Week 28th Oct - 3rd Nov

“Join us and get behind National Infertility Awareness Week! With 1 in 6 people struggling to conceive we need to raise awareness of this misunderstood illness.” We want to make this a HUGE annual event and see everyone involved in fertility taking part in some way. Click here to find out how YOU can get involved. Launched this year by patient charity Infertility Network UK to support its Talking about Trying campaign, we hope this week will raise awareness about the extent and impact of infertility. Lots of people have asked us why there wasn’t an awareness week for infertility - which is incredible when you realise that 1 in 6 people struggle to conceive - so we decided we had to listen to all these requests and start one! And even if you’re not directly affected, chances are you will know someone, work with someone, or be friends with someone who is. And that’s a lot of people who are touched in some way by this illness. It’s YOUR week so make sure you mark the dates now and start thinking about how YOU can get involved with this annual event. Because we can’t do it without your support. Article: 26th October 2013 www.niaw.org.uk Read more sperm and egg donation at www.prideangel.com

Twins on the way for babyless couple who raised fertility funds online

After years of struggles with infertility issues, the babyless couple who turned to the Internet to raise funds for in vitro fertilization has some good news. Brittany Barry is finally pregnant. With twins. She and Chris Barry, who both attended Raritan Valley Community College and are now Phillipsburg residents, have been together for seven years and married for four. They've always dreamed of a large family, but because Brittany Barry has endometriosis (or scarring around the uterus), a blocked Fallopian tube and a low egg reserve count, doctors had told them their chances of conceiving naturally had dropped to as low as 5 percent. But with the help of a Franklin fertility doctor who read about their plight on NJ.com in June, Brittany Barry is now 12 weeks pregnant. "It's just surreal that we're pregnant and it's like our dreams are coming true," Brittany Barry said. "It's so awesome. We had a 55 percent chance of conceiving and a 40 percent chance of twins, and we just hit the jackpot." Her only goal in life was to be a great wife and mother, Brittany Barry told NJ.com in June. "My husband and I have planned our lives around having a family," Brittany Barry told NJ.com in June. "I always wanted seven kids, but now I'd just be happy with one." The Barrys decided to go public with their story and and start an Internet crowdsourcing project to take donations to help pay the costs for in vitro fertilization, or, if that failed, adoption. But fertility specialist Dr. Michelle Yih of the IVF New Jersey office in the Somerset section of Franklin read their story online and reached out to the couple to help make their dreams come true. In August, Yih was hoping to retrieve about 10 eggs from Brittany Barry but managed to collect 34 eggs, and 19 fertilized. They transferred two of the embryos back in to Brittany Barry's uterus, and the news was good. "There were a lot of barriers, I was definitely worried, with her history of endometriosis, the low egg reserve, the testing you had done previously," Yih said. But I knew that if anything was going to work that IVF would be the way to go." "It felt like it was all my fault," Brittany Barry said, referring to all her medical issues. "Usually by the time patients get to us they've already been struggling for a long period of time," Yih said. "They're stressed out, worried, anxious, scared, because they read things on the internet, and a little misinformation can scare people away." Yih said she tells her patients to let her take on some of that burden and focus on taking care of themselves. "I tell my patients to just take it one step at a time," Yih said. "If you take all of it into account at once it's overwhelming so you have to break it down into steps." Brittany Barry said that Yih did walk them through the entire process bit by bit, warning them along the way what would happen and making it much easier to handle. She said Yih and her staff was available day and night with questions or concerns, and never treated them like they were being annoying. Brittany Barry said that the hardest part of the process once the egg transfer was done was that they had to wait a full 10 days to find out if she was pregnant. "We went down to my parents' house in Seaside just to relax," Brittany Barry said. "You can drive yourself crazy." "Brittany did a home pregnancy test on Sunday and it came out negative, but we looked online and it said we wouldn't be able to tell until around Tuesday," Chris Barry said. "So on Tuesday it came out positive — she's crying, she's so happy, and I'm a little scared, because I didn't want her to get too excited and get her heart crushed." "I've never seen two lines before, it was the most amazing thing," Brittany Barry said. "I've never seen a positive so I took five more and saved them." The Barrys returned to IVF NJ to get the official blood test and it confirmed the good news. In fact, Yih told them she was "very" positive. "For the first ultrasound there was just one embryonic sac," Chris Barry said. "But the next time Dr. Yih walked into the room and turned the machine on — and there were two." "The night before the ultrasound I had a dream that there was two," Brittany Barry said. "Mother's intuition," Yih said. "We might not be able to do this again, we were so blessed to have this happen," Brittany Barry said. "And now we've got two — they'll each have a sibling." Yih said that a key factor in Brittany's success is that she is so young. She encourages any couples having fertility issues to come in sooner rather than later, instead of waiting until the prospective mom in nearing 40 and could have additional complications. "I think it's wonderful that you shared your story," Yih told the Barrys. "One in seven couple will face some type of infertility, and people think they're all alone. They don't realize how common it is, and that information is really powerful." Brittany Barry said the most rewarding thing about going public with their plight was the number of Facebook and Interent fans they acquired, and how many woman have gotten in touch. "I don't know them and they don't know me," Brittany Bary said. "But they're going through the same thing or they've been through it, and they throw me encouraging words, or they say I give them hope. Read more ... Article: 24th October 2013 www.nj.com

Six ways to improve fertility through diet and nutrition

For women hoping to conceive, experts advise watching your weight and following a Mediterranean-style diet to boost your odds of having a baby. As fertility experts shared their research at the American Society for Reproductive Medicine in Boston this week, Loyola University dietitian Brooke Schantz offered essential diet tips to increase your chances of having a baby. "Establishing a healthy eating pattern and weight is a good first step for women who are looking to conceive," she said. "Not only will a healthy diet and lifestyle potentially help with fertility, but it also may influence fetal well-being and reduce the risk of complications during pregnancy." Thirty percent of infertility is due to being either overweight or underweight, according to the National Infertility Association in the US. Reducing extra weight by even five percent can enhance fertility, experts say. For women looking to conceive, Schantz recommends the following: 1.Reduce intake of foods with trans and saturated fats while increasing intake of monounsaturated fats, such as avocados and olive oil 2.Lower intake of animal protein and add more vegetable protein to your diet 3.Add more fiber to your diet by consuming whole grains, vegetables, and fruit 4.Incorporate more vegetarian sources of iron such as legumes, tofu, nuts, seeds, and whole grains 5.Consume high-fat dairy instead of low-fat dairy. A Harvard University study showed that women who ate more than two portions a day of low-fat dairy foods were 85 percent more likely to be infertile due to ovulatory disorders than those who only ate it less than once a week. 6.Take a regular women's multivitamin But men aren't left out of the equation. "Men who are looking to have a baby also have a responsibility to maintain a healthy body weight and consume a balanced diet, because male obesity may affect fertility by altering testosterone and other hormone levels," Schantz said. Approximately 40 percent of infertility issues are attributed to men, according to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine. Article: 21st October 2013 www.ctvnews.ca Read more about diet and nutrition

Six ways to improve fertility through diet and nutrition

For women hoping to conceive, experts advise watching your weight and following a Mediterranean-style diet to boost your odds of having a baby. As fertility experts shared their research at the American Society for Reproductive Medicine in Boston this week, Loyola University dietitian Brooke Schantz offered essential diet tips to increase your chances of having a baby. "Establishing a healthy eating pattern and weight is a good first step for women who are looking to conceive," she said. "Not only will a healthy diet and lifestyle potentially help with fertility, but it also may influence fetal well-being and reduce the risk of complications during pregnancy." Thirty percent of infertility is due to being either overweight or underweight, according to the National Infertility Association in the US. Reducing extra weight by even five percent can enhance fertility, experts say. For women looking to conceive, Schantz recommends the following: 1.Reduce intake of foods with trans and saturated fats while increasing intake of monounsaturated fats, such as avocados and olive oil 2.Lower intake of animal protein and add more vegetable protein to your diet 3.Add more fiber to your diet by consuming whole grains, vegetables, and fruit 4.Incorporate more vegetarian sources of iron such as legumes, tofu, nuts, seeds, and whole grains 5.Consume high-fat dairy instead of low-fat dairy. A Harvard University study showed that women who ate more than two portions a day of low-fat dairy foods were 85 percent more likely to be infertile due to ovulatory disorders than those who only ate it less than once a week. 6.Take a regular women's multivitamin But men aren't left out of the equation. "Men who are looking to have a baby also have a responsibility to maintain a healthy body weight and consume a balanced diet, because male obesity may affect fertility by altering testosterone and other hormone levels," Schantz said. Approximately 40 percent of infertility issues are attributed to men, according to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine. Article: 21st October 2013 www.ctvnews.ca Read more about diet and nutrition

Six ways to improve fertility through diet and nutrition

For women hoping to conceive, experts advise watching your weight and following a Mediterranean-style diet to boost your odds of having a baby. As fertility experts shared their research at the American Society for Reproductive Medicine in Boston this week, Loyola University dietitian Brooke Schantz offered essential diet tips to increase your chances of having a baby. "Establishing a healthy eating pattern and weight is a good first step for women who are looking to conceive," she said. "Not only will a healthy diet and lifestyle potentially help with fertility, but it also may influence fetal well-being and reduce the risk of complications during pregnancy." Thirty percent of infertility is due to being either overweight or underweight, according to the National Infertility Association in the US. Reducing extra weight by even five percent can enhance fertility, experts say. For women looking to conceive, Schantz recommends the following: 1.Reduce intake of foods with trans and saturated fats while increasing intake of monounsaturated fats, such as avocados and olive oil 2.Lower intake of animal protein and add more vegetable protein to your diet 3.Add more fiber to your diet by consuming whole grains, vegetables, and fruit 4.Incorporate more vegetarian sources of iron such as legumes, tofu, nuts, seeds, and whole grains 5.Consume high-fat dairy instead of low-fat dairy. A Harvard University study showed that women who ate more than two portions a day of low-fat dairy foods were 85 percent more likely to be infertile due to ovulatory disorders than those who only ate it less than once a week. 6.Take a regular women's multivitamin But men aren't left out of the equation. "Men who are looking to have a baby also have a responsibility to maintain a healthy body weight and consume a balanced diet, because male obesity may affect fertility by altering testosterone and other hormone levels," Schantz said. Approximately 40 percent of infertility issues are attributed to men, according to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine. Article: 21st October 2013 www.ctvnews.ca Read more about diet and nutrition

Pride Angel Journey - Birth Training in Adverse Weather Conditions

It was a sunny Sunday morning at the end of March. While we waited for our NCT instructor to arrive at our house (the block of sessions we had booked months previously had been cancelled due to lack of interest so we were having an intensive private session) we stomped around the driveway, digging our cars out of a three-foot high snowdrift – well, thirty-five weeks pregnant I stomped about waving a broom rather ineffectively, while my partner, Sally, did some serious work with a spade. It was the first time we had bothered with this sort of lark –in the past I’d looked a little condescendingly on those who have the time to potter about their driveway with a shovel when half an inch of snow falls – but in today’s conditions, without removing mounds of snow, our cars would be going nowhere, and we had our nephew’s christening to attend that afternoon. So it was that we were wielding our implements when a laden figure lolloped into sight through the drifts. We called out greetings from a hundred yards away – the layer of snow seemed to make the world smaller, such that from quite long distances you were really rather friendly even to people you didn’t know. There was a quiet, a thick solid feeling, where a shouted greeting carried crisply and clearly to its intended recipient. We expressed gratitude to our instructor for hiking through the drifts with her bags of plastic pelvises and baby dolls, but she seemed unphased, despite the early hour – it wasn’t yet ten o’clock, and on a Sunday morning – but we knew she had kids, so that means you’re up at…well…what o’clock? Six perhaps? Seven if you’re very lucky? So much to look forward to. “We’ve read quite a lot already, so we know the basic stuff,” we said. And we did. Despite recent concerns over my amniotic fluid levels, I was still determined to have the natural birth I’d planned, the wild animal burrowed safely in the undergrowth, the hunter-gatherer woman finding a quiet corner of the forest. Nevertheless, birth was still rather an alien concept to us and I knew even then that shoving a baby doll through a plastic pelvis and examining an (albeit colourful) NCT birth progress wall frieze would do little to change that. I was certainly getting to grips with the idea of a long period where the little bumps in the chart got bigger and closer together, and then this odd bit called transition that would be bad, and then pushing for quite a bit and then the baby coming out. I was also vaguely aware of a bit after that concerning the placenta which didn’t seem very interesting. But I really had no idea of what a contraction might feel like and trying to imagine all this as a process I was going to experience, at some point in the next few weeks, partly here at home, partly at the hospital (or if we were very lucky and they let us in, the birth centre) seemed impossible. Then we moved on to the baby bit. And here I really didn’t have a clue. I knew three things about babies: firstly that they cried, and we should try to ‘regulate’ this crying so they didn’t get too stressed – we’d read up on that; secondly that they didn’t sleep very well; and thirdly that they wore vests and baby gros of which you needed many – presumably because they were sick a lot/nappies didn’t work very well. So I made a careful study of the NCT images of baby birth marks, rashes and a whole range of bizarre blemishes and blotches which it seemed babies were frequently born with – apparently much to the surprise of their parents, who are expecting it to slip out all fresh faced and rosy, as if they have just been for an invigorating constitutional in the Autumn air. Then we studied pictures of baby poo. Black and tarry for newborns, then greenish, brownish, and yellowish with bits in. Lovely. Finally, the instructor demonstrated a Stretchy Wrap. We had a mound of various slings and carriers, all of which had been passed on by a friend, except one, the Ergo Baby carrier which we had bought ourselves, months ago – in fact it had been the first piece of baby equipment we had actually purchased: sleepless and sick at 3am one morning back in November, I had researched the topic in some detail. Wraps and slings scared me – I’ve never been particularly dexterous (and was already slightly concerned about how I’d manage all the plaiting and pig-tailing if we were to have a girl) and so thought I’d be more at home with the structured carriers. My nocturnal reading had taught me about the importance of hip position, about how most of the carriers available on the high street are designed to allow the baby to dangle from the crotch, which didn’t sound ideal. So we’d bought the Ergo Baby carrier, a carrier which places the baby in a comfortable seated position with their bottom low and knees high in a sort of squat. It was supposed to be very comfortable for parents too. And came in a lovely shade of purple. Nevertheless, the stretchy wrap demonstrated to us by our instructor, despite just being a long piece of material, seemed very cosy, very easy to tie and clearly encouraged the good hip position; after she’d left, promising to send us various links and book recommendations, we ordered one – a ‘Sabe’, in green and grey, reversible. Then it was on through the snow to the Christening, and as always happens, when we arrived at Ramsbottom, our destination on the other side of the Pennines, there wasn’t a hint of the white stuff; we were the only guests dressed for blizzard conditions in what turned out to be rather a bright spring day. But on Monday morning, for us at least, it was back to navigating carefully between the gigantic white mole hills down either side of our little cul-de-sac as I headed to my now weekly scan/consultant appointment. Amniotic fluid still disappointingly low. Not especially low. But enough keep me under consultant care and out of the birth centre. Enough to warrant induction at forty weeks. Once home, we tried another angle and I phoned the consultant midwife for the area. Clearly thoroughly passionate about birth, she had answered her work mobile on a day off and spent an hour enthusiastically discussing our situation: the hospital’s ‘diagnosis’ and desire to intervene; our desperate quest for the gentleness and tranquillity of the birth centre. She went away to do a bit of research and then phoned back, supportive of our wishes: she thought I could have a midwife-led birth. We had an ally. Back at work it was the final week before the Easter holidays. I was dashing around desperately trying to ensure that everything was up-to-date and ready for me to leave. I was due to go back for two days after the holiday, but knowing that the hospital could suddenly decide to induce me after any one of my weekly scans, I wanted to make sure all loose ends were tied: A’ level and GCSE coursework completed and marked, classroom tidy and cleared of my stuff, responsibilities transferred to others. I dashed around, dragging my pregnancy risk-assessment trolley full of books, out of breath and gulping from a litre bottle of water at every opportunity. And as each task was ticked off the list, I could almost feel my bump breathe a sigh of relief – at last, you’re going to concentrate on me. Article: 20th October 2013 by Lindsey, West Yorkshire Read more Lesbian parenting blogs at www.prideangel.com